Of Movie And Germany

My V3 won't work with the new Motorola software that has been upgraded. Will post pictures of the fish soup when I have resolved the software conflict.

(Written on 30th June)

With the remaining 2 movie vouchers left, P. and I went to watch "Havoc" tonight. There was an option to watch her secondary schoolmate, Royston Tan's show "4:30". But I was afraid that it would be too artistic for even P. herself (though we did watch "15"), so I chose for a slightly more commercial movie intead.

I am curious about Havoc. I am curious how drastic change of role has Anne Hathaway taken that has the media talking. I am also kinda drawn to the interesting story of how the poor little rich kids live their wild lives.

Well, Anne has certainly taken a drastic change of role from her Princess Diaries days (which I did watch, by the way) in the movie. The goofy but pretty princess in the earlier Disney production changed into princess of another kind. A curious rich girl who took the alternate route to find the meaning of her life. And, believe me, she BARED alot. Which had me wonder if the boys who went into the cinema after we left it were truly interested in the story or Anne's assets. :P

So anyway, Anne was bold and daring in her role. If that's the way the rich kids in Beverly Hills behave, then I think they are such poor things. No identity of their own, they pretend to talk like the the blacks and dress and act like them. Living wildly and dangerously, thinking everything is just a game. Rich people living like poor ones. So unfortunate...

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(Written today)

So, despite my dissatisfaction, Italy is in to the semi-finals of the World Cup. After their 1st goal at the 5th minute this morning, the verdict is already out. Ukraine, despite defeating the Spanish, are soooooooooo boring. I have to admit in this match, the Italians are better players. I was unable to "dong", believing it will be yet another boring game, so I went to sleep after the first half of the game. The 3-0 win to the Italians was not surprising, the Ukrainians are really hmmm... not there yet.

Argentina and Germany. My personal opinion of why the host country won is that Juregen Klinsman understands the importance of stamina, and this has given the Germans an upper hand over the Argentinians. Tactically speaking, the Germans are no match to the Argentinians. However, because the group has build up good stamina prior to the pre-World Cup training, the Germans stepped up on 2nd half and on extra time, and gained an upper hand over the tired and frustrated Argentinians, who were not granted free kicks on several occasions.

The Maradona syndrome seems to have passed down to the Argentinians, who dived and tumbled with great effect. The referee, thankfully, was impartial and saw through those tricks. Sorry, Argentina fans :P I really do not think faking a foul is good sportsmanship lor.

Speaking of which, a German player who was frequently shoved and hustled has slowly gained my attention :) Yes, dear readers, I was man gawking again. This time, it's Michael Ballack.

The poor guy was practically grabbed and pushed by the Argentinian defenders. And poor thing, despite suffering injury on his leg, he continued to finish the game and the extra time, half walking, half limping. (Yes guys, I know that is what a player should do anyway if he is playing, with 3 substitute chances all used) I held my breath as he took the penalty kick, and was really relieved that he scored.

And then, Argenitinian Roberto Ayala's unsuccessful penalty kick had me slapping my brother's shoulder several times, "Germany is in! Germany is in!"

Hooray for Jurgen Klinsman and team. Yet again! :)

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Interestingly, I was the only one watching the match when Germany played against Argentina. Brother was on the comp and pa was sleeping on the sofa. Hmm...

I refused to agree that World Cup has become so boring that its only audience are women who watch the matches because of the men running on the field.

I disagree. I think now that Argentina is out, the remaining teams are now quite equal in strength and stamina to compete. Except for Brazil, who are still dribbling balls to wow crowds. And who seemed to be the favourites of StarHub users, as the commercials seem to tell us.

It's getting exciting :)

Curious George

Adorable MTV. Recommended by P. Enjoy!

I Love Superman!

The Superman MAN, that is. :)

  
*Slurp!*


Brandon Routh is Super Yummilicious! :)~ Thanks to a stock image supplier, I was given free tickets to watch the Man of Steel last evening. The story is standard superhero fare: Villain, Hero, Villain capture loved ones of Hero, Villain I wants to conquer the world, Hero saves loved one and saves the world, Unrequited love, Hero goes away loveless. *Aww... So sad..*

Aside from the cement-thick foundation that was layered on his face, I think Brandon Routh fits the role of Superman perfectly. He really carried the role of the Man of Steel very well. He is the SNAG that I have been searching (but never will be found, especially in Singapore) for all this time: Strength in calmness, Strength physically, Deadly gorgeous, TALL(!), Steady, Sensitivity that tingles and makes you want more, Oozing floaty feelings (floaty, dreamy, don't-want-to-wake-up kind) the kinda man that I can enjoy 5 hours of silence without feeling bored, and most important of all, he carries Integrity in him.

What integrity, you ask? Er... Very hard to explain lah. Just integrity lor :) *sheepish smile*

in·teg·ri·ty

1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

There. Go figure. :) Oh. I like Clarke Kent too.



So sheepishly cute. I mean, he is not a dork-silly. Just dorky-cute. Yummy.... :)~

Anyway, he embodies the Perfect Man. At least to me. Strength, Sensitivity, Steadiness.

*dreamy* Harrrhhh.... If only...

I am looking forward to Spiderman 3... Spidey turns dark. Spidey has always been my favourite Superhero. Hmm... Looks like he's got a competitor now. :)

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

After 2 and half hours of "Superman-ess", we decided to go for a drink. Hoegaarden specifically :) Went to this pub called "Roomful of Blues" at Prinsep Street. Nice cosy little corner for drinks and chill. It's not smokey like other pubs, and you can listen to soft rock and chat at regular volume with friends (without needing to shout). Resident guitarist Gilbert plays good guitar. P. recommended this place to me when she found out that the place plays soft rock and evergreens from the 70s and 80s.

I like the place. The pint of Hoegaarden was as smooth as ever. Has been a while since I drink anything alcoholic (cos of lack of life mah). Oklah, still can hold that pint, plus another from L. who only drank the 1/6 of her pint. P. and I divided the remaining between ourselves.

Nice. It has been so long since I get to chill like that. I think I will go again :)

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Oh. I had big sliced fish yesterday again. Don't have the data cable with me now. Will upload the pictures tonight.

Nice....

Impossible Is Nothing

Did something I had wanted to do for a long time since I saw the adidas ad:



Impossible is nothing :)

Adidas +10 World Cup TVC

Part 1


Part 2


I don't know about you, but I am certainly charmed by this adidas TVC. It brings out the imagination and dreams of football fans of the World Cup, young or old. The idea that a man on the street can choose his dream team and plays it against a peer's dream team is fantastic.

The most impressionable thing of this all is the logo that represent this spirit. It's so simple, yet speaks volumes about the game and spirit of football.

> Read about the marketing campaign

> Read it from the media industry.

> So cool, adidas even run the campaign on Myspace.com!

> And you can even create your own +10 ad!

It's Just So Unfair Lor...

That another team that didn't work hard during the match got into the quarter finals. It was just sheer luck that Brazil scored 3 goals when Ghana players left their defence... defenceless.

I applaud the Ghana players for the tremendous effort in the game. It just such a pity that so many attempts at the goal post were saved by the Brazilian goalkeeper, many of which are really low balls directly rolling to the front of the goal post and easily saved by Dida. Haiz, Australia over kick, Ghana underkick. (I don't care if this term is football term lah, I very very sad about the shots leh.)

There were many, many, MANY, MANY attempts by the Ghana players, but they can't seem to break out of the pressure to score. My guess is that they cannot believe that they are so close to scoring, and allowed the yellow shirts to intimidate their confidence.

The Ghanas (sp?!) are one heck of a bunch of hardworking players. Brazilians were really bad on the first half. The Ghanas made the match exciting to watch . Never have I been so thrilled and hyper watching this World Cup since it opened, jumping on the sofa whenever the Ghanas are close to scoring, shouting as if they will hear me, and making strange noises when Brazil scored. It seemed like Ghana is posing a tough challenge to Brazil... But in the end, surprise surprise.

I guess football acurately reflects life. Whereas some of us work our asses off to strive for a better life, but never get to score, others who just happen to be at the right places at the right time gets lucky and sweeps up the rewards that they have very little participation in. They don't need to work hard, just position themselves in the right location at the right time, "keng" abit (REMEMBER THE ITALIANS? Especially the one who dived 5 secs before full-time?) and VOILA! They made it through.

Foul. It's just so unfair lor.

Just so UNFAIR.

Pray tell, France please stay out of the quarter finals. We don't need another bunch of lazy ah-siah-kiahs boring me in these crucial matches.

Fancy Travelling The Asia Pacific Region?

5 Takes is casting new travel journalists for the next season! Discovery Travel & Living is looking for a group of impassioned 20 and 30-somethings to travel outside of Asia Pacific and chronicle their experiences along the way.

Anyone watch Discovery Travel & Living "5 takes"? I heard about these guys, but have never actually sit through the entire program...

Am hesitant to sign up, cos worry about cost of travelling. But I am worrying too much, am I? As if I "bao" kena picked by the producers.

Hahaha...

Monday Revisited

I was jumping up and down when Francesco Totti scored the penalty against Australia last night. Not out of joy, but out of injustice for the Socceroos. I didn't think it was fair. The Australian played well and they played hard in last night's match. The slacking Italians do not deserve to go into the top 8 AT ALL. The Australian's had played so well in manouvering the football, keeping it constantly out of reach of the Italians.

It was a HUGE irritable change of events. Yucks.

Now I hope the Ukrainians whack the Italians in the quarter finals. The Italians cannot be so lucky all the way.

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Yesterday a client treated us to Equinox Restaurant at Swissotel for lunch. Apologies I didn't take pics of the food, cos I don't want to look like country bumpkin in front of the lawyers, be a disgrace to my boss, and I don't want client to ask me for my blog address :P

It was on the 70th floor. Upon arrival, the window view reminded me that friends celebrated my birthday for me at New Asia Bar in the same hotel some 2 years ago. Where I puke. :P That's a happening club.

The view up there is fantastic. One of the Client comment that if you are earning enough and feeling good, it's a good view to see. But if you are bankrupt and depressed, it will be trouble. I do agree. Somehow I think i am rated 6.5 on a rate of 10, leaning towards the "bankrupt" meter :P

There was sashimis (yet again! :), foie gras (didn't try it, cos didn't want to look like country bumpkin), chocolate fondue, oysters, clams, smoked salmon... Mmm.... I think I will want to take a day off and go there and eat to my heart's content, someday.

Oh, client also informed us, through his lawyer sources, that a major shopping mall in sg has the highest suicide rate in Singapore. We were all bewildered when he told us the name of the mall. Sorry, no name, I don't have money for defamation law suits :)

Hmm... I feel like going to New Asia Bar one of these days....

Yummy Yummy!

Oh, I want to announce a yummy new guy to watch on World Cup :)

Ta-da....! English striker midfielder (thanks for the correction, sian & cowie. I guess I was soooo blinded. Hehehe...) Steven Gerrard.



He first caught my eye when he appeared in the Carlsberg ad. I was wondering who is this fella. Then slowly, I realised this is the same man whose face gets featured frequently in English matches. Which indirectly means he works on the ball more often than the other guys in the English team. I can tell that he is a very steady poon-pi-pi guy who is very focus when he is on the field. You can so tell that he does his very best each time the ball is within his view. The long shot he scored at extra time against Trinidad & Tobago was really fantastic.

Now at least there is something positive for me to look forward to at English games :) ... Save for their really really lacklustre performance.

Someone tell me who is the WAG of this man?

;) ;) ;)

I Am Confused

Handphone alarm woke me to watch Argentina against Mexico. The tiredness overcomed the desire to watch the new Argentina team play. Plonked back to sleep.

Woke up at about 9.30am. The decision that I always avoid making every Sunday comes up again. Should I go attend service? My mind and heart and physical body protest.

So I watched tv from morning till about 12 plus. TV did a highlight of last night's matches. The Argentina goal at extra time was stunning! The commentator said "My word!". My word too! :)

Then my mind started to feel really lethargic. So I went to take a shower to clear the mind. I had wanted to get out of the house to get some fresh air. But the weather is so gloomy, I think I will become worst if I go out.

When mom came back, observing that I am still in the house in a churchly hour. I mumbled that I have a headache. And she start her "go back to PC" talk again. Saying that I should go back, because now that I don't go, my brother also don't like to go.

Immediately, my mind responded. "So now I am responsible for other people who are not going to church?! Who is going to be responsible for me not going to church?!"

And now, I am in this state of dunno-what.

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I don't mean to bring down the image of Christians. But recently, I had been having a thought replaying itself in my head.

Take away the "Christianity" in these people, and you don't get anything close to humane. Meaning, sometimes these people could be alot worst than those who don't believe in anything.

Yes, the commonly practised doctrine is that because of Christ, we do certain certain things. And it is because of Him everything comes together. And apart from Him, we can do nothing.

But... Somehow from my observations or intepretations, Christians do things "in name" only. As in, "in the name of Christ" I love you, "in the name of God", I am going to help you, I am going to pray for you etc.

Take away the beatitutes, take away the fruit of the Spirit, take away things done and happen in the name of Christ, I find no basis for these people to love. As in, they do things for the sake of doing, "because it's the Christian way to do things".

Yes, Christians are the most scrutinized people among all the religions in Singapore. Yes I also believe that there is no perfect person. And who am I to judge?

It's just that since young, I have this very saintly, loving, caring image of Christians. Apparently they don't always behave that way, as I discovered later in life.

It goes back to managing my expectations (1, 2) of people.

I am confused.

Exhaustion

... is toll taken on me as I took another exam today.

... is the result of stress mounting on this subject as I work on the assignment.

My brain was throbbing so hard, I thought it was going to burst anytime in the examination room.

It didn't of course. And I left the hall totally exhausted and tired.

But relieved.

Finally I can watch continue to watch football with no guilt :)

At press time, the Germans scored 2-0.

Yay, Jurgen Klinsmann!

And team. :D

This is Depressing...

Got this in an email today. It was sent from a friend who is constantly in a dreamy romantic mood.

Reminders. Renactments. Rejections. Reflections.

I am not cynical about being romantic. But somehow, I wonder how can other people still stay so hopeful and positive even after disappointments. I certainly can't.

Guy Facts:

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you... When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine," after a few minutes,
he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he thinks you're the most beautiful thing in the world

When you're laying your head on a guy's chest
he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday
He is in love

When a (good) guy say he loves you
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you
he's with you till your done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

Girl Facts >>

Repulsive

The word came upon me several times as I took my shower this morning.

No, it wasn't a repulsive rain that poured last night.

The definition for repulsive

re·pul·sive

1. Causing repugnance or aversion; disgusting. See Synonyms at offensive.
2. Tending to repel or drive off.
3. Physics. Opposing in direction: a repulsive force.


Repulsive was what I thought about the celebrity blogger's entries.

Repulsive is what I am when I allowed my uncontrollable tempers flare.

Repulsive is the the key word when I thought about possible reasons why I am so... alone.

Delicious, Amused and Beautiful

Today is the 2nd day of my aunty visit and my backache persists. As a result of a cancelled appointment with client, I took a late lunch break with colleague.

First stop, we have to fill our stomachs first. Went to China Square to have my favourite fish soup. I don't know what is the hoo-haa about the Blanco Court fish stall in the same food court. Have tried that stall before and the soup didn't impress me. I love this other stall and it is the only one I patronise nowadays whenever I go to China Square for meals.

I first stumbled upon the stall sometime last year, while trying to look for alternatives to the usual Raffles Place lunchtime fare, when I saw this stall with a very long queue at Market Street Carpark (I think it was known as Pelican House). Having nothing to lose, I joined the queue. The fried fish bee hoon was delicious. Then later on, I tried the fresh fish soup. Wah, 没得顶！(Cantonese, means none can compare, or in Singlish, cannot fight ah!) I have been an adoring fan of the soup since.

They moved their operations to China Square while the Carpark is having renovations. And this is the stall if you happened to be at China Square.



The name of the stall is "Pelican House Fish Soup", the logo is on a plate with a spoon and fork by the side . It is adjacent to Mcdonalds when you enter the food court. Mcdonald's is on the left of the entrance, and this store is on the right.

It was about 3pm when we had our lunch, and the crowd was not as many. It is also probably due to the same reason that we have generous amounts of sliced fish in our soup, for $3!! Look at mine:





Yep. That is the size of my sliced fish! As long as the width of the soup bowl! And the taste of it in my mouth? Mmmm... Fresh and sweet. Tender. It is still the best sliced fish I have eaten.

Just thinking about it now makes me slurp again...

Oh, and do remember to try their chilli sauce if you are a chilli person. Not the chopped chilli hor, try the pounded chilli. It's very very shiok!

I must find time to go back and eat it again. Yum Yum!!

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Then we headed down to Bras Basah to check out some binding stuff for one of our clients.

And guess what? One of my sandals got stuck at the escalator! It reminded me of how I snigger at those girls who got their heels trapped at escalators. Now it's my turn. :(

Here's a sketch of how I got stuck. Yes, my humble doodles :)



Yep, as my leg was being mechanically extended, I called out to my colleague "MY SHOE IS STUCK!" Instinctively, knowing that I cannot stretch any longer, I pull out the foot.

Fortunately *Hooray! Non-Pathetic Sg men saves the day!* a guy speaking on the blue tooth behind me took notice of my pathetic plight. He calmly picked up the shoe, and handed it to me when he reached the top of the escalator.

Arh... Such a kind soul. He didn't look irritated or what. I guess he was amused. Probably blogging about the incident right now and re-enacting the scene again. :D

So I got my shoe back! And I was more careful with my heels when I step on the escalator later. I am definitely not going to laugh at others when they got their heels trap next time. In fact, I will help.

So funny right? Come to think of it, a part of the incident looks similar to the scene in Cinderella. Only, it wasn't a prince who picked up the shoe and he didn't look the least in love with me. Hahaha! :)

Oh well. Makes the day a little more fun. :)

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By the way, I am not ashame to proclaim that I do love to watch World Cup matches that has Juugen Klinsmen and Marco Van Basten and Nakata, or any cute footballers with lean, well-toned body at the matches. On top of the fact that I do know what is off side, corner kicks, finishing, crosses, handball is foul, the maximum no. substitutes and when are penalty kicks implemented.

I know The Beautiful Game. And I do think it is beautiful :)

Sweet

Spent alot of time blog surfing. Found this blog.

Tribolum

I hang around in the sections where he wrote for and about his wife and daughter.

The last two columns have not been updated much, I reckon he has been busy.

But... What sweet writings they are.

What sweet writings.

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Can anyone tell me where can I find such a man?

Morning Thoughts

This morning while finishing my shower I overheard a conversation going between a lady and some children outside the student care centre below my block. Being a resident on the 1st floor, I get to hear any conversation that goes beyond a certain level regularly.

The conversations were spoken in Mandarin.

*mumble... mumble... mumble..*

"Aunty where are you going?"

"Aunty is going to go drink coffee with uncle"

"EEEEeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!" The children screamed collectively.

Amused by this simple yet childlike conversation, I peeped down from my toilet window (yeah, I'm a peeping Tom-girl, so what?!). The lady in red went on to board a passenger van, leaving the kids to go into the centre. I concluded that the lady is responsible for sending the children to the centre.

Arh, the kids are still at that age where BGR is still such a touchy subject. Sheer innocence :)

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Now that my 2nd sister is no longer living with us (that was more than 8 months ago, Gosh!), and that there is only:

1 young adult man
1 old man
1 adult lady
1 old lady

I don't understand why do I still find my brother or father's underwear in my room, or my brother will find my mother/mine underwear in his wardrobe.

Anybody got an answer for that?

Save Me Please!

I have been eating and eating and eating...

I can't stop eating.

How?

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Oh, and I have finally found the lost tickets and other stuffs in there. It was in the very bag that I carried to the movie. What dya know?

Bigot me. I thought I have checked the bag. Apparently, not as thorough as I thought.

Silly. Stupid. Should've known better.

Morning Mumblings

Ok, the previous posts was the epitome of my PMS. Though it does reveal what I am going through now, it is not a correct reference to my current state of emotions/sentiments/whatever.

Anyway, what's written, has been written.

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Woke up to a strange dream today.

I was amongsst some production crew and try my best to help, and also try my best to stay away from attention. Then there was this man... He was somewhat a leader of a group of crew. He came over to try to undo things done by a friend of mine. Now this friend of mine is very stubborn (when she is not in the dream) and always sweeps away help, always thinking that she can do everything.

Anyway, THAT man... he came over and shift the table she moved and press onto the cover of the medium size KFC whipped potatos that is on the table. Yeah, tell me about it, so weird right?

Then the scene somehow changed. And I saw this Tom Cruise wife, Katie Holmes (she looks really young, all don up in 70s hippie style) on TV talking to another actor. And know what she said as she look at him, in a very young girl manner?

"We are now in Collaborium(sp?) We will live collaborium, eat collaborium and collaborium collabriumly, right?"

Then my phone rang. Ma called to tell me to close the windows cos it's raining and remember my keys.

So much for a strange dream.

Shame On Me

I have just written the most heartfelt blog post of the week and the stupid email didn't registered the post. And why do I have to blog on the webmail? It's because the friggin' Blogger.com is down AGAIN!!

When are they going to get this stupid thingy fix??!! I am going to migrate to WORDPRESS liao!

Damn Blogger!!!

(For the record, Blogger was restored when I do this a 2nd time. I apologise for rude outbursts.)

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I was saying... That I like tonight's episode of GA. Shucks, need to recall what I wrote. They were all very spur of the moment feelings ya know... And now I have to replicate them. You have been warned. This is going to sound less than exciting.

The GA episode revisits the previous episodes and what happened with the 5 interns and their bosses/lovers/friends. I like the revisitation cos it brings back memory. Impressionable moments that I reacted in a less than natural me way. Impressionable moments and episodes that I did what I do when I see them. Yup. :'

As I :' I had to admit to myself that it's time I face the truth. I need a companion. I need a Special Someone. Someone to shower me with Love and Affection.

Yes, I am finally convinced, nonethless by a tv series, that I am not as strong as I want myself to be. Or I am not able to be as strong as I think I would be. I am still vulnerable as I am made. As any human being is made to be.

So shame on me who laughs at those girls who take their initiative to date the guys they like, or try anything they can do to get their attention.

Shame on me when I shun people who are incapable to do so.

Shame on me who proclaims "No man wun die" whenever I am told to go get a man for myself.

Shame on me.

I am just trying to stay in the denial zone and wean myself of anymore heartbreak possibility. Shame on me, I am building a wall for myself but laughing at people outside when I am trapped inside my own cold castle, surrounded by my own feel-good philosophies that are so pathetic in real life.

But what can I do? Love won't find me anywhere. I can't find Love anywhere.

And I think it I never will. Ever.

Nuthin'

I have nothing to blog-blog tonight really. Just thought I would share a pic I took today.



I took the picture when I was about to alight a bus. What bus? The bus that takes me to do regular Sunday stuff as a Christian.

Tiredness overflows from yesterday.

Didn't do homework today.

I ate and ate today. Constantly feeling hungry. Jia lat. Becoming a fatty Bom-bom.

Oh, at P's recommendation, I have just started to take Organic Psyllium Husks. It's high fibre and great for detoxifying and clearing the body system. She told me that after taking it, the daily output will be extra long. And that one of her advertisers for her magazine co. has lost weight after taking it regularly. So I must try. I think so too.

I am suppose to drink a tablespoon with lotsa of water. Today is day 2 liao. I haven't seen any results yet. Just downed another glass of water with the husks. Something to fill my stomach so I won't fall into the snacking temptation again. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a good time at the toilet.

Oh yeah, just now met up with a friend from PC for tea after dinner. Was good, even though there were silence in between. Cos I think both of us are mentally drained. Him with his work, and me, with as usual, STUFFS. I am just happy that I get to be away from crowds, tv, computer and just sit down in a quiet place to relax. I guess he does as well.

Ok, nothing to blog liao.

It has been a very tired 24 hours for me

Last night went out with P. It' has been a long time since we do this kinda hang out thing. How come like that, I also don't have a specific answer. I think she is afraid that I am very busy doing assignments and exams and classes. And I always give her excuse that I don't want to hang out with the others. She is also quite busy with her work.

So, thanks to a friend who restored my life back to normal again on Thursday, I was in quite a cheery mood yesterday. In fact, I was very open to hang out with anyone, cos my dress code yesterday was a ready-to-hang-out kinda dressing. Not sloppily moody basically. So when P. msn me and invite me to hang out, I readily accepted the invitation.

So we had dinner at one of the Char Can Ting at Liang Seah St and then walked down to Marina Mandarin, the intention was to head to the Atrium Lounge to listen to music, like we used to do. However, along the way, both of us were distracted by the stores lined along our paths and ended up spending money before we reach the lounge. It is one of those rare times we do girls thing like that. You know, shopping. Our common activities are movies, suppoer, karaoke, clubbing, eating... Not much time to do girlie things like that. So it was nice :)

The band has changed at the lounge. The old band recognises us, because we always request for songs. Now the place is more high-class, no more song request service liao. However, there was a lady soprano singing when we reached there. The environment was nice and comfy, as we chat and talk about things and people concerning us.

We left after they've finished playing the last set. The band members know us by then, cos we were the ones who clapped after every song. And then slowly, others follow suit. And because we were seated on the same level as the stage, they acknowledged us whenever we clap.

I am so glad that P. and I spend this quality time together. She is one of those IRC people I have met collectively within a period, who have restored my confidence on meeting people online. They provided me with genuine friendships that stood the test of time.

It's 50/50 chance that we will get to do this again after her ROM later this year, though I am quite confident the bf is more assured when she is with me then when she is with the beer-drinking people.

I am just happy that I can add this night to my collection of memories.

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I was suppose to use some shaw vouchers to redeem movie tickets to watch "CARS" with sis and family. But the ticket was not to be found at where I thought it has always been. Thus, there was a mad search around my room for the tickets, but the search was in vain.

I was angry with myself. I was freakin' angry with myself. How could I assumed it was there? Why didn't I check? Did I left it in the office? Where can it be? Why didn't I put it in a more trustworthy place? Why am I so forgetful?

I had to leave the house without the tickets. "Maybe I'll recall where I left it on the bus." It was just 15 mins before the show starts. So I paid for the 5 tickets $9.50 x 5 =$47.50 So freakin' expensive!

The movie was good, though I wouldn't say that the girls enjoy it very much. I guess cars is just a boys thing. Hmm... Oh well. Money spent already. No turning back.

Oh, I forgot to mention. Guess who I bumped into when I bought the tickets.



Yep. Isn't he (Orlando Bloom lah!) cute? :)~~~ Oops, sorry, is that my saliva on your keyboard? :)~~

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Before we head home, we saw little Ethan Ong outside Taka getting ready to play his drums. Naturally, the girls were very curious and hmm... Let's say they are "very interested" to see how this little talent plays his drums. Ethan was fantastic. I mean, for a 7 year old, he really has a knack for the instrument. I am sure when he gets older, he will have be sought after by Hillsongs to be the drummer or something. Maybe then, Hillsongs is already out of fashion. Steven Curtis Chapman? Audio Adrenaline? Newsboys? (I know, I am mentioning old names liao :P)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dropped to bed to take a nap when I reached home. So tired. Woke up and went to Lai Lai Restaurant with sis & family, and ma and pa to have our dinner.



I thought the place was quite a nice one to have dinner. Food court prices, not too bad food, and most important of all, we get to seat outside the restaurant, which is the open area of the building. Quiet, breezy, cooling and not so crowded. We all agree we should come here more often for dinner. A very very nice place for a simple and quiet dinner.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So here I am. Now writing the blog. Still can't believe i have misplaced the tickets. I would be very grateful if I find them in the office next Monday. If not... I think I will have to turn the room upside down to look for it. There's Taka vouchers in there too. Plus the $60 Nail Palace vouchers bought on May Day that I have been saving for use on weddings at the end of the year.

They BETTER be in the office.

Never Can Understand

I really don't understand why a certain blog that has its owner constantly
spewing vulgarities at its readers is still so popular.

I wonder why even when I have profess such distaste for such a blogger,
still goes and see how the said blogger is doing.

Basically I am kaypo. Since the blogger likes to writes about her life, and
I am just like any other human who is a natural secrets prying machines.

It doesn't benefit me at all by reading the blog, but it does provide me
some points to reflect before I blog. And the very important question: Why
do I blog?

If I get as much attention, how will I handle it?

Nah, it will never happen.

Some Time Away From Depression

Another uplifting moment from depression to add: My "Five for Fighting" CD came through the mail yesterday after friend suggested the fondue thingy. Yes, before the concert ticket news too. I ebay-ed it cos I can't find it elsewhere in Singapore. It came without the lyrics :( quite used, but oklah. Colleague got it when she opened the letterbox.

The CD sprinkled joy over the depression. It was good. :) It was very good.


The depression did came to an end today.

After lunch, I was very very busy trying to get some work done today. Then a friend asked me to join him for some chocolate fondue thingy at Esplanade. Perfect! That is really what I need for some perk-me-up. I needed to get some comfort food to expell the depression, and I needed to be out there somewhere to clear my head after work. Great!

Then, it's work work and work. The source of the depression slowly fading away, and was replaced by new hope. I told myself I have to grab this opportunity. If I don't want to stay as I was now.

Ok, work work work.

Big sis called. She's got tickets to Jamie Cullum's show tonight. FREE! Tonight! Wonderful! Even more reason to get myself out there and put the depression away. The venue is at Suntec. Good. It's not too far away from Esplanade.

My countenance turned for the better. At last I can take the "bloody" thing away. Goody!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The acoustics at the concert was very good. I was worried that the convention hall will not have good acoustics. It was a very personal kind of setting, even though the hall was really big. I thought to myself, I may probably be converted to a Jamie Cullum fan tonight. I will buy the red $30 Jamie Cullum T-shirt on sale and show it off in the office.

He was a good entertainer, and very talented musician too. He came down to the audience at the 2nd half of the show and got everyone to go to the front. Then the show heats up.

The talent exude. I observed that there is a couple in front who seemed to jiggle and shake to every tune of his, but very unnatural leh... Like so pretentious. Anyway, not my problem...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I wasn't converted after the concert. It's not that I don't like JC, nor his talents. Just not my type of music I guess. It has never convinced me to buy his CD, and I guess it never will :P

Sorry Jamie Cullum fans. I like this guy, he is full of energy and stuffs, very talented. I am just not into his music.

Well, at least I save $30 dollars. And I had a well spent night. :)

I Am Having Depression

Got out of the office.

Mission: To get a breather.

Route: Unknown. Just keep on walking.

Observations: Feels tightness on chest. A little difficult to breathe.

Diagnosis: I am having depression again. (Review: The last time I had it was in between August - December period.)

Bought chocolate from Watesons to eat to ease the emotions swirling. It helped a bit. Ordered chicken in mushroom sauce from the western food stall. Ordered orange carrot juice.

Just finished lunch. I made myself finished the food even though I feel very filled. Just stuff it in... Just stuff it in.

I can't let people in the office know that I have depression.

Darn, I am so bloody full.

Happiness, Sadness Wistfulness Pensiveness, Madness

Stupid blogger.com kee siao. Won't allow me to upload pictures of the new Cathay at night and CHOYA VINO. I will upload them again later.

Went to watch "She's the Man" tonight. Originally, I thought it would be a very teensy show. Apparently not. There were alot of funny parts, can see that the director does not want to repeat jokes surrounding a girl impersonating a guy too much. If you are not tired of girl-impersonating-as-a-guy-to-show-that-she-is-just-as-good shows, you will enjoy the movie. There's football. There's bikinis (opening scene only hor) and teensy love, you know that kind that he loves her, she loves another, but the other loves yet another who loves the first he kinda thing.

I laughed out loud and clapped my hands along with the rest of the audience at the funny parts.

And oh yes. I watched it at the new Cathay cinema. Nice comfortable seats. But warning: Do bring your shaw or jacket along. Or you can just hug your gf/bf in the couple seats, which they have lined up on the side of the cinema, unlike the other cinemas that put couples all the way to the back.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Parted ways with L. after the show. Thought I would take a picture of the new cinema at night.



- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The bus route was one that I haven't been on for a long time.
Wah, Singapore Power is doing something to their building. Renovate? Tear down? Eh... They have shifted the skaters to the site just above the Somerset MRT station.
Bus passes a few stops and I glance out the window. Every bus-stop has about 50% of young couples.

Along the journey, my mental came to a manner of solitude and reflectiveness wistfulness pensiveness. A contrast from the me 30 mins ago.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I remembered today when I went for lunch, I saw a familiar face outside the restaurant I was suppose to have lunch. Upon entering the restaurant, I remembered the face was my NAFA classmate. As she was engage in an intense conversation with her lunch partner, I thought I would disturb her later.

She is a Malaysian. And her creatives were very unique. I remembered a scene from the past where she asked us to take a picture of her facing her exhibits for the assessment, with her back facing us. She has her sense of humour, but can also be very serious when she discuss about things.

But I missed talking to her eventually. Yeah. Darn. She left before I finish my lunch.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There is something about revisiting the past that I do not like. It's not that I do not want to reminiscence the good old days. It's just that... Sometimes it just invoke a sense of worthlessness, weakness, and maybe, how unfortunate I am compared with other people.

She is probably working it out big as some agency. Leading a team of designers, which was what I wanted when I first went into design.
Me: Still working my way horizontally in the social ladder. And just beginning to realise my worth.

Looking a friendster profiles of the younger friends I have (most of them were my Sunday School students). Gee, they have all grown up and matured to be young men and women. They are probably enjoying their (social and even love) life now.
Me: I blog almost everyday, because I can't get attention elsewhere. I have turned down too many invites, people are always thinking I am busy. My social life is very quiet. Too quiet for me.

The couples I see on the bus, the couples I have seen the day before, and many days before...
Me: I am single, I am dateless and I am pathetic.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

While on the bus looking out the window, suddenly a mobile ring. And the ring tone was to the tune of David Tao's "爱我还是他”. The phone belongs to a lady sitting right in front of me. Beside her was many shopping bags. "Hmmmm..." She was wearing sunglasses. I think she is in her late 30s - early 40s.

A few bus stops later, I think she puts a finger to the side of her sunglasses and seemingly wiped away the tear in her eyes. The action prompted looks from passenger on the other side of the bus. She turned and gave them a look, then turns back to look at the window like me.

Reflecting Wistfully Pensive, looking at the scenery that passes by quietly but quickly. Just like me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The bus passes by a Zhu Chao eater along where I live. I thought about why I am sloppy and lazy as I am now.

For the past 11 years, I was working full-time and serving half-time for the PC's children's ministry. During these 11 years, the service was an excuse I usually use to tell myself that I justify that I have no time to do household chores or do anything that is related to my home. But I had time for other things. Karaoke, Movies, Pubs, Clubbing, Late night suppers... But no, no time to care about things at home.

Now that ma is old, I am bugging myself to do more for the family. But it has never been a habit, so doing it will be hard.

Another part of my brain protested.

"You don't do things like that because you are unlike those single women that you have seen! They are quiet, reserved, obedient, gentle, intelligent, stay at home, self-giving... Clean. Neat. Proper. Rich.

You are not like that, Joyce. And you certainly will not end your life like that."

Hmmm... Okay. Well, it's a little bit true. And definitely true that I do not, and will not want to end up like them. I consider those kind of life a sad one.

Ok. Justified.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The bus reached my stop. And in front of me, there is this lady struggling to get her card out. While she was looking for her card, I tapped on my card already. Then I want to pass in front of her, and her hand stretches out to sorta block my way, because she wants to tap the card on my side.

And I am like "HELLO! I am trying to go down here! There's another tap machine on the left!" I managed to zip pass her and got off the bus, but not without whispering a popular vulgarity.

Somehow I was really mad. I guess the it's the PMS thing. And I huffed and puffed my way to the 7-11 store, determine to get something to cool myself down from this unnecessary outburst.

I needed something strong. Nothing in the beverage fridge caught my eye. I went to the first fridge where you see Hiedeken, Tiger, Carlsberg, Asahi... Ah ha! CHOYA! Haven't drank that since my colleague and I tasted it during work in the previous office. That one contained 12% alcohol. This one looks like it.

Anyway, I don't care. I just want something strong. Bought 2 boxes of chocolate mints along the way. I like the name on the box. It says "Irony".

I opened the CHOYA the minute I left the 7-11. Hmm... Doesn't taste alcohol. Taste like soft drink. Like Jolly Shandy. Reached the ground floor of my flat, and took a look at the label. Ohhhhh... only 4% alcohol. No wonder.

Quickly stuff the bottle in the fridge when I reached home. Mom shouldn't know about this drink.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Now that everyone else is in bed, I can finally blog about what had happened for the past 2 hours. And also finish the remaining CHOYA.

Wah Kaoz!

As a result of my over-enthu and excitement over Firefox on my Mac in the office, I proceeded to made the mistake I will remember for my entire blogging history.

I went to mess with the blog template and the CSS styles!

So pardon me if this page looks extremely alien to you. I have done my best to salvage what I can salvage. And will continue to work towards a more decent looking blog.

My apologies if the blog has caused you visual discomfort.


*ran away screaming:"Wah Kaaaaooooz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Waaaaaaaaah Kaoooo!!!"*

Yay!!

I can finally blog properly during office hours liao.

Oops.

Goody, with Firefox, I can add colours, link,


upload ang-kong (that's a 2-carrot ring, in case you don't know), Shift ang-kong around,

• bullet
  
• text,

spell-check,
align,
change font size and font type ..

Hooray for Firefox for Mac OS X!

Habit Lah...

I ermm... Had to blog tonight.

It's Christmas season at Seattle Grace Hospital. As usual, tv series feature one or two story of people who believe or do not believe in Santa Claus or Christmas. GA is no exception. Cristina doesn't believe in it, though Burke does. And their differences reaches a new test when Burke hopes the boy patient he treats will believe, so that he can recover faster. While Cristina does not believe in anything.

Good O'le George told a family off for making a ruckus in the hospital. You go, George! Prof Bailey is having nausea spells when operating. Quite cute to see the scene where she demand for Strawberry milkshake and told her baby not to kick her while she operates :)

Derek says even though he has chosen to stay with Addison, he has fallen in love with his flight, Meredith. Expected right?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

We are half a year away from Christmas. Exactly (cos GA ends at 12am. It's now 12:20am)

I ponder.

What will I be doing this Christmas? Who will I spend my time with? Will I get a fat year end bonus to splurge on Christmas gift like I did last year? Will I be going to any church for service?

Hmmm.. The Christmas tree needs new lights. Maybe we need a new Christmas tree. Not.

I love Christmas season. The ang moh way. Spent time with family and friends. Show them appreciation of their friendship and love with gifts. Having lots and lots of fun with people you know.

But the Christmases that I have been through for the last years are very... For-the-sake-of-the-season kind of thing. Gift exchange (I can never ever get it... Why bother at all?), party at clubs (with drunk Caucasians staring at us Chinese girls in a less than decent admiring way), eating with secondary school friends, church, friends, my friends... They call it "gathering" by name, but the meetings usually do not entails alot of catching up. It's just basically doing it for the sake of doing it lor.

And church services... They definitely gotta conduct proper ones. Hey, it's celebrating a reminder of our Lord's birthday. But churches have gone stagnant liao. Sing songs, sketch, dance... (I know, what else can we do?) There's gotta be something more creative than these... There's gotta be something to make Christmas more relevent than just re-telling the same story that people have grown to turned a deaf ear to. I thought the Nativity village at Taka last year was cool. Roman soldiers, Wise men, life size carts, Christian groups from different tribal groups in Asia. Way cool.

Hmm... Oh well. Just a thought.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So...

What will I be doing this Christmas?
Who will I spend my time with?
Will I get a fat year end bonus to splurge on Christmas gift like I did last year?
Will I be going to any church for service? Will this church be my home church?

Hmmm.. The Christmas tree needs new lights. Maybe we need a new Christmas tree. Not.

One things for sure. My room has gotta be more cleaner than it was last Christmas! :)

Resolution

This morning while getting ready for work, thoughts about my life swirled again. It happens often.

I asked myself why do I blog everyday, when compared with others, who blog every now and then. Then it came on me.

Because I have no life lor.

Then images of my blog posts flashed through me mind. My blog posts are all so... About Me. Everyday, what I do, where I've been, what I think about, what I eat.. It's beginning to look like some blogger who writes about her life to earn money. Yucks. I mean, it's so... Shallow.

While other blogs are not so frequent, they talk about meaningful stuffs. But my blogs are fulled of the "me" problems.

It does appear that I blog in a bid to get attention from the world. Because I have no life what.

The only argument I could have is that this is my style. This is how I write. This is the way I write.

But really, my heart agrees that it's all about attention seeking.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I am considering blogging about more substantial stuffs. And to blog only when it truly expressed my feelings.

With less frequent blogs, I shall use the time I spent online to do other meaningful stuffs to my life. Like cleaning up my room, cleaning up my wardrobe, doing more household chores (afterall, ma is really old already, and it's so unacceptable even for myself to look at myself from an outsider's point of view that I seemed to be still living the life of a grown-up slob/brat/bum.)

RIGHT. I know, I have been talking about these things frequently. But I have not done them.

This time, i think I should put my words into action.

How I Spent My Aimless Sunday

Tonight I had a most sumptuous Japanese buffet dinner by far. I went to Hanabi Restaurant at Coronation Plaza for dinner. Wah, you need to reserve 3 weeks in advance to get seats! At first I wasn't even there. Just so happen the Scottish in my cell messaged me and told me that our cell group is having a makan session there.

Wah, the sashimi.. Mmmmm.... I ate and I ate. And I have forgotten what I have eaten :P I remembered the tuna, salmon, yellowtail, squid and octopus sashimis most vividly. We ordered other dishes to share. There are 90 choices for you to choose! Imagine that! Yum Yum... If you live near Upper Bt Timah, I strongly recommend you to go to Hanabi Restaurant for Japanese Food.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Today, I didn't go to church. Not PC, not any "C". Just stayed at home.

First of all, I woke up in the morning with the same throbbing pain behind my left eye.

Secondly, when I messaged the 2 folks who has been accompanying me to the church in the East,
a) one says she is not going,
b) another says she will not be going because she and her hubby are visiting other churches.

Thirdly, because of this I also sianz already. Because distance is really a hindrance. "All the way to the east leh."

Forthly, I am planning to move on to other church. Just have not decided on which one yet. Have shortlisted a few. Those that are near do not appeal to me. Those that appeal to me are very far (like Jelapang Road... As in Bukit Panjang area).

Fifthly, I need to prepare myself mentally to go into another new church again. Otherwise, I will not be going in with an open mind.

Sixth, I am quite luan. I am now in a state of dunno-what-I-can-do when I think about things in my life and stuffs. It's hard to explain, but basically it means that I am at loss of what to do with my life. And I get sianz. I get confused. I really need to rest my brain for a while.

So there. I hope that by next Sunday, I will be ready to visit a new church.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I finished the 30th and final episode of the tv series楚汉骄雄 on DVD the night before my exams.

The story talks of how two powerful men in China History, 楚霸王 and 刘邦（汉高祖），who came after 秦始皇, rose to power and eventually, end up plotting against one another in BC 206 (I think).

Initially, I was drawn by the show by the historic theme, believing that it will provide some help in my translation. However, as I continue to follow the story, even though I know some parts have to be dramatised for television viewing, the story gets more gripping as the story unfolds.

I would love to elaborate on the story, but I think it will be too loh soh liao... Hmmm... Basically, the series is not just about these two men. It talks about how people worked with them influenced their decision making. The last episode also questions whether 到底是时势造英雄，还是英雄造时势？Loosely translated, it asked whether do signs and times PRODUCE heroes, or are legacies made BY heroes? (Phew, translating this is a task!)

(Optional)
In the show, 刘邦 is not politically-inclined nor does he know much about military affairs，but he is very people-oriented. With the help of his advisors and a very, very power-hungry wife, he managed to conquer kingdoms after kingdoms. According to the series, 刘邦 was destined to be the Emperor of China, according to astrological predictions, and his advisors truly believe that he will be eventually.

楚霸王, or 项羽，on the other hand, is someone who is very ambitious. He started an uprising against the 秦始皇 in hope that the people in the country will no longer have to suffer under the latter. However, though he is a good military general, he does not have good EQ, and many times, brings fear to the common people. 项羽 has also good advisors by his side, but he frequently ignores their advice (strange right) and went ahead with what he thinks is right. A few times, this resulted in his defeat in battles.

Then there is an important character between the 2 men, military general 韩信. This man is a genius in military strategies and this unpolished diamond was insulted and belittled by 项羽 several times. After he went to the opposition camp to assist 刘邦, he became a very powerful general. However, he became too proud and (in the show， together with Mrs 刘邦) instigated that 刘邦 kill 项羽 to become the Emperor of China, even after they have agreed to share the country of China. He was killed eventually, as his pride gets over his head and he tries to instigate another uprising against the Emperor. And made him 出尔反尔。

Anyways, after finishing the entire series, what stays in me is how people had to do certain things because of circumstances. How, when good talents and skills are put to good use, it can wield victory.　When you have a good helper, take their advice, put them in strategic positions. I have also learnt quite alot of allusions 历史典故, such as　出尔反尔，四面楚歌，楚河汉界，etc．("Huh, you mean you dunno all these?" Yes, I don't know, cos I have never been interested in all these "men's" stuffs. Till now.)

Also, I have learn that 人言可畏. (Eh, translated as: One should be wary of the spoken words of others.) When we trust rumours instead of our own judgement, it could be disastrous to our career. People talk, but we shouldn't let these things distract us.

Anyway, there are a lot more to learn. If you can, try to find the series to watch. Or go wikipedia to look for these people in history (you can use the Chinese text above to search in Chinese, or type the hanyu pinyin of these characters). Very very interesting stories of ancient China indeed.

Hmm... This is my summary for this week.　

2nd Day of World Cup, Day of 3rd Exam

Today was Exam no. 3. Chinese-English Translation Fundamentals & Techniques.

Whene everyone finished their work and hand it up at the end of the 3 hours, I could sense that it seems like we have just been through a huge battle. Stressed, relieved, tired. Heck, I didn't even have enough time to do a last check before submission.

Argh. A more challenging exam lies a head. Advanced Chinese-English Translation. It could be a literature piece, a financial report, a news report, a science report, a humanities article, a historical recollection... In A4!

Scary berry....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

World Cup has finally started. This year, we get to watch all 64 matches (if we want to) because of the service we subscribed from StarHub.

Just finished watching the England-Paraguay match about an hour ago. Hmm... it's kinda boring leh. Here are some of my observations:
- Dribble, dribble, dribble... and the ball still ends up in the hands of the man in blue.
- The referee, a Mexican, is obviously siding the South American team.
- England players look restless.
- South American players are still as rough (and barbaric) as they have been 16 years ago...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Yes. 16 years ago. That was during my Secondary 4 "O" Levels year, where we would follow the matches religiously so that we can talk about it during school time. I remember the late night 3-in-1 coffees I made every night to stay awake to catch the major matches.

My brother owes a sticker book that has the pictures of all the soccer player then, and that was part of the reason why I was drawn to the World Cup. You know lah, a 15 year old girl like me would go goo goo gaa gaa over the players. Especially those from Italy, Engliand and Germany. Yes, the German players that year were of ah-chek age already. But one of them particularly caught my attention. Juegern Klinsmann.

Wah, 16 years on, he has become the coach of the German national team. Missed the match yesterday, but when I watch the re-run on CH5 tonight, I am convinced that he has set a very good example to his players. Unlike the other coaches, he has a flat stomach!!! I mean, this man is like what.. 40 over years old?!? And still has flat abs? Amazing.

As I watch the England-Paraguay match commences, some excitement welled up in me. It's this entire passion about the game that really makes is so special eh? DIfficult to explain, but this feeling gets renewed in me whenever I watch the game. It's history in the making. It's a good ground to watch man against man, and how they control their temper when being tackled underhanded-ly. It's just like any reality show, don't you think?

And now with the advent of cable tv and cable internet access, you need not owe a ticket that cost you thousands of dollars to watch ONE match. We paid $26 for the service (cos we do not ahve the sports channel). And we can watch it at home. All 64 matches. And get latest info anytime with the internet.(Gee I sound like a cheesy StarHub TVC).

To think that the only channel that shows the matches 16 years ago was CH5. To think that we can only know about the latest results from papers or radio 16 years ago.

So much of our lives has changed.

Anyway, I am tired already. Shall take my well-deserved sleep after a nervous exam day.

Stuck In The Middle

“恨”已经不是理由了。只觉得自己和他们的距离，越来越远。。。

相见时，我们没几个投机的话题。只是互相打个照面，微笑。当主人不在时，应时的客套话，偶尔填补了矛盾的寂静。

我，已渐渐成为他们的过去。。。

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have a flurry of thoughts floating through my mind for the entire day. But the thoughts were overshadowed by the work process, these thoughts scurried by and they disappeared.

Because of the hormonal changes that are going on in the body of yours truly this week (and possibly next week too), I have been having shots of melancholic, hunger and indecisiveness everyday.

[Indecisive] Picking the attire to wear for work can take half an hour in the morning! :S

[Hungry] Cravings. Eat with regret. Eat somemore. Don't care liao. Eh, why still feel hungry?!

[Melancholic] Think. Ponder. Wonder. Reminiscence. Review. Ok, why me? Why not the others? Why didn't I do that? Why am I still like this?Big sigh.

The Solutions/Remedies:

[Indecisiveness] Go with the first choice.

[Hunger] Obey hunger. Find and satisfy cravings. (There is no point resisting, because it will get worse.) Chocolates.

[Melancholic] Stay away from shopping centres. Go home to finish homework. Telling myself that there are better things to do then to spend my time aimlessly.
Usually, I will end up wondering why am I grumbling about being single when I am the one who is staying out of the party. Sighed inside. Swirls hormones.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I have been having hawker style western food for lunch for the past 2 days. It started out as a da-bao for colleague. Then yesterday I tried the mushroom chicken. Mmmm.. Superb! Today, I was still craving for the mushroom sauce *Mushrooms!!* But tried the black pepper chicken instead. Just as good.

As a result of my frequent patronising, the lady at the stall began to be comfortable talking to me. Or maybe it's because I "made" her talk to me. Haha! Cos whenever I wait for the food, I will try to strike up a conversation with her, on anything. As a result, they gave me extra baked potatoes whenever I order from her. Hee.... :)

They are the 2nd stall from the hawker centre that I have begun to make friends with. That was the Soon Kueh old couple earlier. Nowadays, if I pass by their stall, they will also smile at me. Just last Tuesday, I asked uncle how come they didn't open their stall on Monday, he told me they went to "See-Bai-Boh" (Singapore General Hospital) to see doctor for 心脏病. I think for Aunty's heart. And they told me they waited from 11am to 4pm. Like that of course cannot open store lah...

Then, this western food couple... Don't know they couple anot lah, but I anyhow guess. The lady told me the chef was originally from The American Club, and they have been there for 6 months. And they rest on Saturdays, but open on Sundays too, because there is the church crowd.

I don't know since when did this little "networking" with people started. I suspect it came naturally ever since I turned 30. At my age, I can't be "shy" and "innocent" anymore. Somehow, people expect women of my age to be responsible, confident, capable, sociable, streetwise etc etc.

I didn't survey. It's just a gut feeling. As such, alot of times, I can feel unspoken "expectations" from me. Younger people will look at me and expect me to make a stand, say something, pay for something, make a decision for the group etc. The more mature people will look at me and expect me to be responsible, make good decisions, offer an intelligent argument or POV, etc.

Stuck in middle. But I think I am quite adapt to it now. Just talk lor. I don't know how all these networking will help me, especially when I "network" with people who sell food. Haha :) But it does make the food buying much easier. Or for that matter, anything kind of shopping.

A thought just came and drifted off. Sheesh.

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

This morning, I took quite a while to decide what to wear for the day. Because later in the evening, I am to attend a funeral wake.

Yes, I fret over the boring black colours that we normally wear to wake services, and want to wear something different. As I ponder over my attire, I wonder... Will there ever be someone who could come out with attire/fashion that one can wear to a funeral wake? Granted, it is kinda taboo subject. And it could garnered comments that are uncalled for. Still... Some suggestions for us to wear something other than to wear black would be great. You look at American TV, even when they wear black, it's so tasteful. But for us... Very casual.

But anyway, it's not life and death. Just a thought.

I left the house in a white top and light blue loose pants.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

I wonder how will I handle a situation if one day should my immediate family member have a funeral.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Saw a pair of young couple under my block as I came home.

They must be thinking, this single woman.

I think I will be walking back alone like this for the rest of my life. And someday, someone will write on his/her blog.

"And she walked past the letterboxes, avoiding the lifts for fear of strangers. Slowly she walk, swaing from left to right. Quietly she walk, as if to recount the her day filled with emptiness and loneliness. She stares at the flight of stairs for a while, and then climb up slowly to her apartment."

- A Lady on Her Own -

What I Think Would Happened In A HR Conference

I am sure you guys have seen advertisments on the 2006 HR Congress in Singapore. On the trains, in the ad boxes at train stations. Well, the congress is over, I happened to look up while in the train and saw the ad, and decided to find out what it is all about.

Frankly, I want to know what do HR people congress and meet in a conference. The only thing I can think of is that HR people attend these kinda conference to gossip. I mean, I have never had alot of experiences with HR, since I work in small companies all my life. Most of the stories I hear about them is that they are difficult, they decide your leave, whether you are employed anot, whether you get your pay rise etc etc.

That is why I wonder what will they do if they are in a HR Congress. What is there to discuss?

"Did you hear about how I withheld the pay of that man who thinks he can MSN without us know? Lucky our IT dept is on our side..."

"I heard you successfully block out all his leave! Brilliant!"

"That was the 5th time he tried to join our company... Too bad, I don't like his face..."

"Oh... He was such a friendly CEO... Cute too... Too bad now you get to see him more than I do!"

Yes, these are exaggerated expressions I imagine I would hear if I were at the Conference. My guess is that, at the conference, as with any other conferences, people will be there shaking hands, passing namecards, move on to next group, repeats the cycle, and goes home with a sore faked smile.

:) Just some wild imagination for a Wednesday morning.

Seven Dollars Wasted

I thought with Alan Tam paired up with Hacken Lee, "We are Family" will be a good show to watch.

Well, after watching the show, I conclude that it is better that this pair stick to what they know best - Singing in their famous "Zho Lam Yao Lei" combo-concerts, then to attempt using the same name to make a movie.

Yes, the movie sucks. What's more, at the opening credits, I saw Raintree Productions. And then slowly one by one, some local names pop up at the opening credits. Gurmit Singh, Wang Jian Fu, Abigail, Patricia Mok, the two teenagers from I Not Stupid 2... Hmm... I never know that they were in this show.

The story is thinly veiled on a guy's quest to win the approval of his girlfriend's family members in order to win her hand. I tell you, HK movie production, already at its all time low, when combined with Singaporean actors, sucks big time. We really shouldn't marry Hong Kong movie makers with Singapore actors or filmmakers... We are of 2 very different genre of movie-making industry. Putting both countries together will only result in a movie production that is neither here nor there. Hong Kong movies are loud, direct, crude at times, and very exaggerated. Singapore movies are more down to earth, honest, and at times plain and not experiential.

Also, I do not understand why are there so many local media faces popping here or there on the movie. Is this another of the STPB's decision to force "Uniquely Singapore" into the face of Hongkongers? What really baffles me is that Gurmit Singh made yet another appearance as Phua Chu Kang.

I mean HELLOOOooo!! That is so yesterday! Why do they have to keep tarnishing the image of a beloved comedy character? I mean, enough already! Phua Chu Kang has brought us laughter and joy and he should just stay in our memories. Please do not bring him out every now and then on advertisments or international reality shows, just for the sake of telling the world that we can laugh at ourselves, and that we have variety and spice. Duh. (I cringe whenever I see the Phua Chu Kang gang nowadays. He is becoming a pain more than a comedian now. Wonder why they never play up on Neo Swee Lian's Mother's role in TVCs... at least this mother is more fun to watch. Or for that matter, Tan Kheng Hua's Margaret... No, not any of the men please!)

So anyway. It was a waste of money watching the show. I am officially very disappointed with HK movies now. They used to make such fun contemporary movies. And now it's just crap after crap. I wonder where have all the good film directors gone to?

I should have watch "Backbenchers"!!! :S

Being Alone. Being Myself.

Let's see.

GA last night talks about loneliness. Humph. As if I need more reminders, right? Interesting Meredith notes that doctors are the loneliest people on earth. Because they dedicated their lives to save others, giving up their times to others, they do not have times for themselves.

Something like the me last time. I put in time and effort to make a better place for others. And in the end, I become the person who bears all their problems.

One of the quintuplets (Thanks Laughing Cowww!!) died when Izzie was taking care of her. It was Addison's way of training Izzie to not be too attached to her patients. It was a hard lesson, which left Izzie baffled. On the other hand, Cristina gets to be a little more humane as she was made to treat a patient who swallow blades, and later light bulb just to stay out of prison. She carries with her a complex background of 3 murders. Cristina ignores her at first, but seeing the things she puts herself through to stay out of the prison cell, she extends her stay at Seattle Grace.

George's pining for Meredith is stronger, now that she is no longer with Derek. So much so that he confesses it to one of the patients. The patient said something to the effect of giving up (correct me if I am wrong), if she does not reciprocate.

There is something about yesterday's episode that tugs. That "No Man Is An Island" closing line.

Haiz.

....

I notice there is pattern I adopt with people.

The deeper I know a person, the more reluctant I am to share what is inside me. Maybe I am afraid of judgements. Maybe I am afraid of them ostracizing me because of my sharing. It is also possible that I cannot imagine them coming to know the REAL me. There could also be the issue of keeping up appearances.

Recalling my misadventure between end Jan and Feb... I could have shared it with offline people. But I chose to let the bleeding run online. I wasn't sure that it would work, so I withhold the thing from the closest people I know. None of them were a part of the happiness, and then the pain. Strangers to this blog knows more about that incident, then comes the people I met few times a year, then the people I meet more than a few times a year.

So, to people who know me very well, they will forever see me as a happy-go-lucky girl, with no problems.

To people whom I hardly know, they know I am a normal person.

To you, strangers, you know I am probably a wretched person. Hmm.. maybe too strong a word. Maybe real is more appropriate.

Thank you strangers, for letting me be who I am really.

No GA Review Tonight

Blogger is not behaving in a sensible way. I guess I will blog about GA tomorrow.

Anyway, I am doing tweaking of my translation assignment.

Give The Man The Slip, Give The Girl A Hat

Last Saturday, before my brother left the house for an errand, he told me that the post office will be sending over his overseas parcel that day. He also told me to pass the white delivery slip that was dropped at our house the day before, when no one was there to receive the parcel. I made a mental note of it.

The parcel came. And after receiving it, I messaged my brother.

"Your parcel is here."

I guessed he was real excited about the delivery (apparently he ordered Ultraman figurines from Japan), and messaged back:

"Ok just give the man the slip."

...

Read an article on Sunday times yesterday. One of the writers, Alloysius Tan (I think that is his name) wrote about a comment a Tokyo friend made on Orchard Road. The friend said that he finds Orchard Road is abit... dark. At night. In essence, the article was about how the trees along Orchard Road made this shopping belt look dark, and does not justify the vibrance of the shopping environment there, especially with the brightly lit new facades such as Wisma Atria..

After reading the article, I do agree. Somehow, instantly, I have imageries of the walkway outside the Orchard road station, leading to Wheelock place. That path, even though is wide, is rather dark at night. I do agree that walking along there doesn't give me an excitement that I am in the most exciting shopping area in Singapore. It's just another walkway.

But imagine Orchard Road without trees... HOT! Would there be people walking along the road? Will there be youngsters touting sure win scratch-and-win cards to you outside Ngee Ann City, telling you that you have won a prize to travel around the world?

I loathe the heat. I perspire easily. Orchard Road without trees.. I will still go, but it will be very unpleasant. But who knows, maybe it will create the popularise the wearing of caps and hats in our country. Or maybe we could have a series of our very own Singapura umbrella souvenir?

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Come to think of it, our country is rather hot and humid. But we do not have the habit of wearing caps or hats. Somehow, people in this country do not see it a necessity. I think basically we are not that interested to wear a hat to make a fashion statement. But we have all the reasons to wear it, right? How come we are not wearing them, leh?

Possible reason is because the media here do not "educate" our general public to wear hats. Actually, if the local authorities step in, it could possibly work. You know, get the local celebrities to wear hats. Make it cool to wear hats or caps. Just like in Australia, where they make it very important to wear something to protect themselves from the sun. We ought to too. The sun over our skies is getting too hot to handle.

Actually, I think we do have not enough fashion tv to teach our people how to dress properly. We have far too much food programmes on tv. There is at leasts one food programme on tv every month. No wonder we are all getting fat, instead of looking more fashionable.

Can someone tell the Mediacorp to help us to become more fashionable people? My sister told me after her trip to Taiwan that whatever we see the celebrities wear on taiwanese tv is what the normal people wear on the streets. She was in awe of the fashion taste of the locals there. Compared to our plain and bland dressing..

I also want to be fashionable leh...

Maybe I will go Taka and get a nice hat and start wearing it...

Observing Things While On My Own

It has been a rather memorable night. I was at a drama performance in a almost non-arty part of Singapore. It was good, and I felt as if I was in a very exclusive group of people as I approached the theatre. Makde up mostly of young adults between 18 - 30something, the crowd also consists of some good mix of people from different skin colour and of more mature age. The group look really exclusive. You know, the kind that are not your regular work-hard-for-the-money kinda Singaporeans I felt like I was in some secret gathering. I felt "cool" :) But what really made this night memorable are the before and after moments I had.

Lets recall what I did before.

Whenever I am going to an event that is new, or fairly unique (to me), I always have this habit of concocting ideas that people taking the same transport as me are heading the same route as me. Dunno why.

So at the bus stop, I began to look around for people who may be heading the same way as I am going. There was a lady in lacy white top, jeans with matching lace belt and heels waiting at the bus stop who caught my attention. She doesn't look like she is going to a low profile theatre. Well, lo and behold, when the bus came, she board the bus and alighted at the same bus stop as I did.

The bus went along the route where I used to take transportation the Previous Church (PC). Nothing much has changed since. When it did pass PC, I saw a group of teenagers playing captains ball at the open carpark. "The famous group game there," I recalled. "Looks like the youth group is doing good."

It has been so long...

Then there was also a pair of blokes. Typically, I would classify them as "Path Sg Men". They also alight at the same bus stop as I.

Hmmm.....

Ok, so I was among this particular exclusive group. It was good that the performance started not long after I arrived, so I do not need to be uncomfortable all by myself :) It was interactive drama, so audience participation is part of the game. Half way through the performance, I notice those 2 "Path Sg Men" left the room. Didn't see them come back again.

After the performance, I walked to the train station on my own. The route is a familiar one, for it used to be the same path I take with people from PC whenever we finish our lunch after Sunday service. Walking on it brings back some memories, and some thoughts that all this has became a past for me.

Walk on somemore. It's a long walk. I continue to reflect on what used to be on this Sunday route. When I was about to reach the bus stop at the station, I was half hoping that I will meet the couple whom I have match-made there, maybe at the coffeeshop or what. Half-hoping, because I do not know what I will say if we do meet. And something in me what to see how are they now.

They were not found there, but I caught sight of a group people who were at the performance just now, sipping coffee at the coffeeshop. They left at the feedback session, but did ask some questions about the performance. I pretend to look ahead and not look at them.

At the station platform, I walk to the spot where I normally wait for the train if I am alone, cos it's nearer to the escalator at my station. Think. Think.

Train came. As scenes that used to be so familiar sweep by, flurry of thoughts came up.

Why did I take the longer route to go to another big church when the PC is only 2 train stops away?

Distance... Even if it near, the human to human distance is far away. What is the point?

Is it time I go back? It will be quite a scene to behold. I will have to repeat my answers to questions on why they have not been seeing me. Then I may have to tell them the story in half-lie, half-truth. I will go to service, but I will not attend prayer meetings, or business meetings. I will not serve.. Yadda, yadda, yadda...


Reach my home station. As I go up the escalator, I saw the 2 "Path Sg Men" who left the show earlier, coming down from the steps. So they spent the rest of their night here...

It's about 11 plus. Saw that guy (Tommy Wee) who was on "A light moment" show holding a girl's hand. He saw that I was looking at him and looked back. So I looked away. Hmm... interesting. This plaza very good for pak-tor?

Walked home. On the way, I counted no less than 6 couples who were strolling, waiting for buses, or just holding hands and talking. Made a mental note not to go home at this hour of the night ever again.

I look at them and smile to myself. So happy. So 幸福。

The journey back home resumed, but not with some additional feeling of "imbalance".

Friday Mutterings

Aiyoh... I cannot buy clothes overseas leh.

The pair of jeans I bought from MANGO at JB is 1 size bigger now. I am wearing it now and it just keeps slipping down leh. Brgh. So my size has not upped afterall. Somehow during fitting it went up. And now it's slipping. Looks like I gotta go get it altered liao..

...

Interesting Newsweek link. I lifted the link off a regular christian single newsletter.

Some things to note from their article 20 years ago:

White, college-educated women who failed to marry in their 20s faced abysmal odds of ever tying the knot.
20 years later, is this statistic the same for asian women.. Asian women like me??


A woman who remained single at 30 had only a 20 percent chance of ever marrying.
Hmm... So out of 10 men that I meet, 2 out of 10 may be my future partner... 'Cept, I don't meet alot men now, let alone 10... *Working out the equation...*


By 35, the probability dropped to 5 percent.
... Oh great. *punching calculator* There is no probability of a future partner.


In the story's most infamous line, NEWSWEEK reported that a 40-year-old single woman was "more likely to be killed by a terrorist" than to ever marry.
Killed by a terrorist... *Shudders at the thought*



The article further reports...

To mark the anniversary of the "Marriage Crunch" cover, NEWSWEEK located 11 of the 14 single women in the story. Among them, eight are married and three remain single. Several have children or stepchildren. None divorced.

So what can I make out of this news report? Got hope? No hope? Wedding is not a no. 1 spot in my mind now. I am concern for myself that I may not have a companion to spend the rest of my life with.

Yes, I am beginning to be afraid of loneliness. Fearful of the unexpected void that may fill my life. It's a scary thought.