I Am OK Now...

To those of you who were concern for me over the surge of sadness that enveloped me on Tuesday...

I am OK. Thank you, my dears :)

It's probably the PMS thingy. I think I better take my Evening Primrose supplement religiously. It's not worth it, you know, letting depression taking over an otherwise normal mind. It's a terrible-terrible thing to feel absolute hopelessness pounding it's message in your mind.

And boy, am I glad that I am out of the rut :D

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Last night, PA and I went to watch a free Starlight Cinema movie (cos I won the tickets for the opening night.) I don't know what message is 'American Dreamz' trying to bring across. Though slightly better than last year's 'Skeleton Key', it's just as duh. I thought the cast selection was good. But the story... :S

After that, PA and I went to MOS in JN's car. The club was still densely populated when we arrived. It's suppose to be Ladies Night on a Retro Night. The action didn't pack in till about 12am. I had planned to leave at 1am, but ended leaving the club at 3am. The combination of the retro music and the alchohol were the reason why I forgot my committment, I guess.

It's been a long-long while since I enter a dance club. It's just not the place to hang out anymore. And I am not that kind of person who likes to be intoxicated with alchohol, having seen pathetic scenes of girls/women/even ladies vormitting in the ladies toilet, or have to be carried out of the club by their friends, or just too toxicated that they had to just be 'stoned' outside the club. To me, the attraction of clubbing is more of the fact that it's a place where one can move to the rhthym of his/her favourite music.

But last night I was intoxicated, somewhat. Probably because of the long absence from the scene, I guess. There were only 3 of us, and the other two are drinkers. Fortunately, I known when to stop and didn't down more bourbon coke when I felt my head was spinning. It was still spinning when I reach home.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The lack of sleep + the alchohol wasn't good for a morning wake-up. But I went to work anyway, as the hangover seemed manageable. The whole day went thru without much accidents, 'cept a few moments I felt the whole world spinning when I closed my eyes to rest.

I was able to wake up from the hangover somewhere mid-afternoon. I thought the aftermath of the hangover was over, till I felt itchiness on my buttocks. A check at the toilet verified that I had hives. Duh.

Not wanting the hives to spread to other parts of the body, I hurried to my favourite clinic. As I make my way there, I wonder. "Do I have to show my buttocks to the doctor, given the night doctors are male?" By now, some hives were showing up on my chest area. "And there too?" :S

My turn came. The questions were still there.

"Hi doctor."

"So how can I help you?"

"I've got hives. And they are at my chest area and buttocks."

Doctor, upon hearing the word "buttocks", was trying to think of something to say.

"I've got hives before."

He seemed relieved to hear that. "So you know what hives look like right? Red spots that will spread... yadda, yadda, yadda..."

We exchanged a few questions so that he can verify that I know about hives and how they look like. And off I went to collect my medication.

So my fears were unfounded.

Phew. Do you know how pressurising it is to have to show your buttocks to a doctor, especially from the opposite gender? So many things you DON'T WANT him/her to see.

I am just relieved that we didn't have to go through that :D

On Christ The Solid Rock I Stand...

... All other grounds are sinking sand.
All other grounds are sinking sand.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

This song came to mind as I was looking for pictures on inmagine.com or alttype.biz to represent my current state. I had in mind:

- a tear drop
- an eye
- a tiny dot in the centre of blurry images of colourful patches

Mind's too tired after the aerobics and no patience to seat through clicking 250 pages of search results. A picture of a lighthouse stayed on the screen for a while, and the song, "I am a Rock" came to mind...

"I am a rock... I am an island..."

Then later, "Christ The Solid Rock" came. Somehow related I guess. Rock and Sinking Sand.

And now my head feels like it's being hitted continuously by a rock. I am turning in.

Remembering The Fleeting

Was lead to this blog from D W's blog. D W commented that this is the third person he "read" who passed on this year.

And these are young people, mind you. Nobody over 35 (I believe). Reading the last posts by some of these bloggers, it's hard to imagine that just a few days after they've penned their most recent post, these individuals were gone.

Ok today. Who knows about tomorrow?

Blogs became the platform for us to read about their(most intimate) thoughts. And it is always the final post that got me thinking about what could have happened after that post. And what was their life like, you know the flashbacks kinda thing...

The coulda's, woulda's and shoulda's. (Go listen to "Lai Bu Ji - Chen Shan Ni")

I rethink about my decision to stinge on giving.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Fleeting thoughts I had for the past week or so:

- I had pop the 'my happy married life' bubble with the steel needle of reality, unknowingly :)

- I am bowing to my feelings of inadequacy to apply my translation skills into something bigger

- I am officially cynical and skeptical about 'finding (even) love (let alone "true love")'. It 'ding!' on me when I sniggered at a radio ad one day. The jingle was 'let's fall in love again!'. I told my colleague it's so cheesy.

- Yes Ladies & Gentlemen, I am very close to adopting a 'Spinster' mentality. BUT, I pray I will still look good and be nice to people. I know alot of these Spin Sistas' can be quite intolerable... :)

- As much as I know I desire to grab any opportunity to work/live overseas, I think I am not as strong as I think I am to pursue this dream

- I fear the day that my parents will get Alzheimer's disease. Every now and then, little actions by them seems to transmitting the message to me.

- I fear that I will be handicapped one day, and for the rest of my life. I fear the things I can't do, may do, might do, and eventually do.

I am afraid I am not mentally prepared for the last two items, if they happen. The fleeting thoughts for tonight.

Nothing is definite. Nothing is forever. Nothing is permanent.

Eat, Eat, Eat Is All I Do...

I thank God that I was able to enjoy a SUMPTUOUS dinner treat with friends from PC at Peach Garden (#01-06 Novena Garden, 273 Thomson Road,) tonight. I guess it was in exchange for all the stress that I've been put through for the past few days while practising for the intepretation exam today (hence no blog for the past few days). So it's more apt than anything that someone in the group just got promoted and decided to gave us a treat...

I'm not going to elaborate much. But usually when I put food pictures here, together with their name and addresses, you know they are GOOD...

Wasabi Prawns


Toufu with Kailan (I think)


Fried Dang Hoon (Vermicelli) with Roast Duck Meat (We ate the roasted skin earlier, wrapped in egg omelette, which I was too busy eating to remember to take picture)


Fried Dang Hoon (supposedly, but they taste like Bee Hoon)



Dessert. Mango + Sago + Pomelo in young coconut.


Custard Bun. Complementary by the restaurant. What a nice surprise! :)

Before all this, we had Deep Fried Eggplant with Pork Floss, Soup (Some Tom Yam, most Toufu) and Roasted Duck Skin wrapped in Egg Omelette.

Enuff said. :)

However, please note that price wise, it's a bit steep (starts from $300 onwards dollars for set dinners... *Nods* Ur-huh... I would recommend that you order ala carte, and bring along your AA card if you drive (15% discount).

Don't say I never tell you arh....

The Cupcakes Ordered From Carnival & Co.

Look at the exquisite box they came in! :D
I took this box.

Colleague took this one.

Carnival and Co. recently added Lavender to the existing cupcakes flavours. Tastes abit weird (I confess, I am not a big Lavender fan...) . The cupcakes consists of: Strawberry, Vanilla, Chocolate and Lavender flavours. 4 regular (about +-6 cm) size ones and 4 small (+-3cm) ones.

Verdict:
YUMMIEEEEEE!
esp. the CHOCOLATE flavoured one.
MMmmmmm......
They look so dainty, I feel like a princess eating them :D

Suggested Servings:
Share with your loved ones, especially girls of all ages. Icing on cake may break if cut, so cupcakes are best shared by letting everyone have a bite.

DOUBLE THUMBS UP! :)

Highly Recommended a.k.a Latest Love:

Carnival & Co.

http://carnivalandco.blogspot.com/

I am collecting my first order of cupcakes today! Can't wait! ;) Will report with pictures :)

Keeleekolo, Kookookaakaa...

Was buying breakfast at the food centre and met my old classmate from NAFA, finally! :) We talked briefly, she is still in design line and she told me that another classmate also works in the same building as me (I saw him, but I pretend I don't know him, cos I can't recall where I've met him... He was never in our group you see... Well, I will acknowledge him the next time :) It was getting hot at the food centre, I passed her my card and scurried off. Hope she will email or call me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Took a cab to client's office with boss today. We had a lot of things, a non-Asian gentleman who happened to alight from a cab too offer to help us bring our stuffs into the building. Both boss and I agree that that was a nice gesture from a man. I think... better don't say what I think :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Took cab back to office after event. Taxi driver uncle said I don't look over 30, when he looked at him from the rear view mirror *oh joy!* and after I broke the ice by instructing him to alight me at the food centre for coffee, we began to talk about coffee, and then he shared with me about him trying for test-tube babies over 10 years ago. The procedure was tried twice and cost him over $20,000. He related to him the painful procedure his wife had to endured, and just when they gave up hope, she conceived naturally.

And to think there are people there who throw away babies after they were born...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I've been thinking... Am I writing too much of my life online?

So, you have been advised. Things you see here MAY become lesser. MAY BE.

I love "Mad Hot Ballroom"!

Website

It's actually a documentary about schoolchildren in various New York public schools picking up ballroom dancing for a national competition. The children from the schools are mostly kids from single parent families or who have parents are low-educated (can detect it from the way they speak their English). The middle-class children in New York get to go to piano or dancing classes, but these kids don't get the same treatment. This is a free programme that the local schools do to help these kids learn to live life with a purpose, and to give them something they can be compete in.

It's interesting to see the children's transformation from clumsy and awkward beginners to seasoned dancers. And to see how they learn the way of life through the contests. They talk about their feelings about dancing with the opposite sex, their feelings about disappointments. Yet through it all, even after the anguish not understanding why they lose out to the other schools in the heats, the faces brighten up with their optimism for future.

One thing I noted: I believe I am right to conclude that the children in the show are more innocent than Singaporean kids. They are easily contented with simple rewards and encouragements. Whereas in my experience working with local kids, most Singaporean children are very cynical at just about anything. They somehow think they know what are we up to, and assumes by knowing that, they are smarter.

I think street kids a.k.a. latchkey children are more receptive to concern and attention shower upon them than the comfortable little emperors/princesses in most Singaporean households. Sure, it takes up more effort to care for them, however, it's most heartening when they sparkle in their own ways.

So anyway... Go watch the movie. Rent it, buy it... It's fun and it's touching. It's not adorned with Hollywood blitz. Just a simple and sincere movie about believing and never give up. Nobody would think they need less of these, right?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ok, the reason why I blog tonight is also because I am feeling very restless. My intepretation exam is this coming Saturday. Practing consecutive and simultaneous intepretation from English to Chinese and Chinese to English is hard! :S I could barely catch up with the speaker on the MP3 files :( I didn't achieve much, and it's rather demoralising to know that I am really bad :((

Aiyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... So frustrating and sianz.. :(

Afterthoughts From Watching Sex And The City

I am someone I know who is very very late who writes about "Sex And The City" years after its final release.

Why I want to write about it then? Because I have just finished watching the finale season of the tv series, thanks to the DVD, a loan by colleagues. And I would like to say that the final season of the show was much more profound that when the series first started. Imagine my shock when I saw how "risque" the show was on my first experience with the show's launching episode. "Gosh... You mean they actually allow THIS on tv in the States?" I know some of you may just throw in a "huh... you mean you don't know meh..." I admit I am conservative, and may I say those behaviours are unacceptable in my belief system. So it was quite a bit of pondering whether should I pursue the series further.

I got over the issue quickly because I know I am definitely not watching the show for THAT sake. The series has a very interesting perspective of living as a single person in New York City, or for that matter any city. Besides risque scenes peppered in the initial episodes of the show (they gradually have lesser and lesser of them, thank goodness), the show talks largely about the 4 women and their friendship and their quests to find love. I grew numb to THOSE scenes eventually "[ ffwd >> ]" and follow the series constantly.

It's pretty amazing to know that the series ran for a good 6 years, spanning from '98 - '04, and the ladies in the show went through many different kinds of experiences. One significant thing I noticed is that they transit from snobbish, wild party, and very sexually open creatures to people who matured into... Real people. Life's experiences are weaved into the series such as births, deads, cancer and adoption, and through it all, everyone kinda "grew up".

Ok, I think I am repeating myself... What I am trying to say here is that the show depicts rather accurately the truth of the matter. No, I don't mean all THAT, but more so of the relationships and especially, the friendships of the 4 women, spanning the amount of time. No matter who were are, or where we go to, at the end of the day, one should thank God for friends to hear their woes or give them a shoulder to cry on, or someone to affirm who we are, the decisions we make, or just be there for us even when there is nothing they can do... This is especially true for girlfriends. It's such complicated matter, this girlfriend thingy, yet its of such vital importance.

Ok, I think this is really what I am trying to say.

Friendships are very, very important. Make an effort to keep it.

(rethinking my "don't believe in best friends" belief system...)

Tonight I Thought About Connections

I met a churchmate from PC at the supermarket today. She is a Scottish lady, who met her Singaporean Chinese husband in Glasgow and followed him to this part of the world after their wedding. They were with their mother and their helper. Now that I recall the scene again, I thought it was quite a cute sight. Her mother-in-law is a Mainland Chinese who came to Singapore when she was young, who speaks no Chinese, only Hockchew (I tell you, it's such a complicated Chinese dialect! I wonder how did she manage! :) My friend converse with her MIL in Mandarin, I saw it with my own eyes). Her husband is a born and bred Singaporean Chinese, she is Scottish Caucasian, and their helper is an Indonesian.

Now how's that combination for a Uniquely Singapore family unit! ;)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It reminded me of another friend of mine. I got to know her from our previous office location. She is a Mainland Chinese too (I can't remember which part, gosh!). We met for lunch yesterday, and she was telling me about how she is cautious of introducing her boyfriend to her parents, and that her aunty who lives here have been asking her mother why hasn't she got a boyfriend yet.

Now, all this time, I had thought that her boyfriend is a local Chinese, for she has told me previously that they met while she was studying in one of the local polytechnics here. So I was pretty baffled why is she fearful of introducing the boyfriend to her parents. Upon (genuine) enquiry, she told me that her boyfriend is in fact, from Sri Lanka!

She is fearful that her parents, being Chinese, would mind his skin colour and the different cultural background that he came from. I think it's a constant worry on her mind, because whenever we meet for lunch, she would talk a little about it, and share with me her thoughts.

She asked me whether my mother would mind someone from a different nationality (before I knew about her Sri Lankan boyfriend), and I said, I wouldn't mind, and (hope) my mom wouldn't too. Then I went on to say that it is probably because Singapore is pretty multicultural, we are quite open to inter-racial marriages, and I saw her nod her head. She wish her parents and aunty would have the same mentality as Singaporeans. She then shared with me about how caring the boyfriend is, and we do agree that there is nothing wrong with him, 'cept the fact that his skin colour is very different from a Chinese's.

We also agree that it is probably a very Chinese/Asian thing that we should marry people of our own kind. And then I recalled my previous post about the eating with Chinese or Hongkonger. I do agree that sometimes, it's difficult to change our mindset because of our Asian backgrounds. But being Singaporean, I guess this issue has lesser impact on us.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My point was proven when I sat down to watch a talkshow about Men marrying the higher-educated women, and women marrying lower-educated men. One of the guests was a Chinese man who was unsuccessful in meeting local women, and after seeing so many happy marriages of his friends, decided to marry a Vietnamese bride through a matchmaking agency. The couple seemed very happy on the show. The man gets to shower his Vietnamese wife with love and concern he may never be able to do if he keep looking for local girls, and the Vietnamese wife gets a man who lives in a better country (compared to Vietnam) and is happy that she is able to meet up with her sisters, who also married Singaporean husbands.

Given our similar culture, I guess it is indeed easier for brides from other Asian countries to be assimilated into our country. Why, this island is getting migrants from more countries than when Raffles discovered the island. We see, hear and work with Chinese, Hongkongers, Thais, Philippinos, Indonesians, Malaysians, Indians, Japanese, Koreans, Australians, Americans, British, etc etc... And I think everyone can assimilate well into the environment here. You can speak any language and still be understood (at least the common ones like English, Chinese, and other Asian languages.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So that's all of my thoughts about connections.

I've also watched a National Geographic programme "Inside 911" and got emotional. Granted, I am not American, I am not a loud anti-terror activist, and it's been 5 years already... It still tugs my heartstrings to see the towers crumbled to the ground, one by one. Bringing with them innocent lives who went to work on that fateful day, who look forward to see their loved ones at the end of the day.

It's very normal of me to imagine myself in that kind of situation and ponder about what the people at the scene had felt during the entire ordeal when I watch programmes like that. The shock, anguish, pain, helplessness and confusion they must have felt! For those who were at their last moments, what went through their head? For those who escaped the disaster fortunately, how do they feel in those moments when they are in it all?

It was a heartwrenching day for the Americans, and to the rest of the world, shock and confusion. It actually happened in New York, in the United States of America, the supposed super-power country of the world.

Nothing, and nobody is invicincible. The price to learn this lesson is regretfully, and unfortunately, a costly one paid by the United States.

My prayers for those who are lost or traumatised by 911.

News In Brief

I am sure most of you would have seen the TVC on "CP" brand frozen wonton by now, right? The chef secretly microwaving a bowl of "CP" wontons and discreetly kept aside the packaging. While he was enjoying his bowl of wonton, an apprentice chef came by, took a taste of the wonton (that has one full shrimp wrapped in wonton skin) and praised his teacher for his skills.

Well, I tried the "CP" wontons yesterday. It was T-terrific! :D The shrimp was indeed one full shrimp, and there were no weird taste in the mouth, as compared to the usual frozen foods. I give it 2 thumbs up! :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I've found another long lost friend on the internet! I was just talking to M, a KL offline friend who became a real friend about finding people online, and she wondered where is one of the guys from our common pool of IRC friends. You know, the pool of people whom you chat with every night on IRC channels or web-based chat...

And I've found him on Friendster! :D

Guess its the season to find old friends and renew the friendship!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I've finally got a new pair of glasses and new (disposable) contact lenses! :D

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The tightness on chest that I've experienced couple of weeks ago is gone! :) For those who prayed for/we me on that, My heartfelt thanks! It wasn't a good feeling, but it helped me to appreciate life of breathing freedom.

Going All Cheem (Deep) Again...

Something has been circling in my mind for the longest time this past week.

You know we are having this IMF thingy in our little island this coming 10 days right? I chanced upon an article in the chinese newspaper and thought it was rather insightful. '

The writer wrote about his experience as a guest in China and Hongkong, where his hosts will bring him to have a grand meal of abalone, birdnests, and the like. In their culture, it is normal for the guests to be treated in a royal fashion, and an honourable gesture by the host.

However, when his clients from China or Hong Kong or Taiwan comes over, we locals bring them to hawker centres, Lau Pa Sat, thinking that our guests would appreciate this gesture to show them our local culture and local food. Alot of times, this ain't so. We may think that we are showing them the best of what we have to offer. But they may really want to be treated the same way as they were treated back home, as guests.

Alright, culture is one thing. But as I reflect further, I think I can derive some life's truth from the article.

Sometimes, we give to others what we think is our best to them. We did our best to source for the best and presents it to our guests. But they may not know how to appreciate the gesture, and might even consider ourselves rude for offering what we think is our "best". What if they still prefer the old ways of doing things? The ways thing are done in their culture, their lives or the way that are comfortable with?

What do we do? Do we still shove our "best" to them and expect them to take it anyway? Would we grumble that the recipients are not being appreciative? Would we adjust our "best" to accomodate their "best"?

And how about us as the recipients? I kinda know that most of us Singaporeans are pretty "chin chai" (easy-going in Hokkien). We don't really mind new cultures and new things. But if others present their best to us, and it doesn't sits well with our habits, our fantasy, our hopes, our desires... How do we "accept" it? Would we appreciate the effort made by the giver, or do we just let the gift sit on the top of the shelve to collect dust, ie. indifferent?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Noticed that I have not blog on GA of late? Cos there are no more dramas already! Woof! is right. It is spiralling down to personal relationships. Abit bland :P

But tonight there was a spark that got me sit up. Chris O'Donnell will be the new love interest to Meredith Grey! :D New things to see. New man, to be precised :D

And George's new love interest... Hmmm... I think she is a lil too large physically for his size... But, she sees him beyond "just George". Well, at least they like each other mutually, so it's good news for George.

Alright, time for bed!

Stupid MSN is down for the night. :S

My Weekend in (Some) Pictures

Saturday. Had a good chat with a long-lost friend from the US. We just got in touch again, thanks to Myspace.com :)

Thereafter, I went for my written exams for Advance Chinese-English Translation.

Then I came home. Everybody's at home (Everybody means: Father, Mother, Eldest Sister and Husband, 2 Nieces, 2nd Sister and Husband, Brother and me). 2nd sister brought an exquisite cheesecake that she co-ordered with her colleagues in office.



Don't they look pretty? They are called JellyHearts (HP: 94597711) $15 for 20 pieces. Strawberry hearts in jelly top, with cheesecake base. Minimum $100 for free delivery. (Hehe... Got all these info from sis). And they are yummy! :) Ideal for celebrations or surprises for your loved ones... (Wah, free advertisement!) Hehe...

Sunday. I missed church service cos there was a last minute change in venue :( I didn't check the website, so was rather baffled when I reached the hotel and found no church activities going on there :( SMSed my contact, but darn, my phone was on a low-volume mode, so I didn't hear her reply. They actually have the service in a nearby venue. Darn, I could've gone there. But by the time I got the message, I have already gone home. So I missed church today :(

I haven't been having quality sleep for the past few days. There are always thoughts in my mind that float in and out, cutting in the sleeping pattern :( So for one, it was one of the reasons I'd rather miss church than to go in with a not so fantastic mode. I even came back from Daiso (3rd level IMM) with a huge migraine.



PA recommended the store to me. It's got the same concept as the previous $1.99 shop, only this time, everything costs $2 each. However, most of the stuffs in there are from Japan. I went there with mom (who else better to go to a thrift store with? :)

So the migraine stopped me from "touring" the new IMM. News for you folks: IMM is the new "Takashimaya", at least in my opinion. Capitaland has taken over as the developer and they revamped the place, just like they revamped Clarke Quay. The mall now looks like a mall imported from KL (read: HUGE). Adidas will be taking a space there, and Esprit Factory Outlet too. It's so much more shopper-friendly than the old IMM (I have always thought the concept of membership shopping was so wrong).

So anyway, I finally acknowledge the fact that I am not created to window shop. The air condition makes my eyes tired and the vast amount of things I see gives me migraines. Now that's good news to my bank :)

I Am Sam (Updated)

Anyone of you watched the movie?

I missed the movie when it was in the theatre last time. Tonight, I was able to sit through the entire movie (commerical-free, nonetheless... Thanks M1!) tonight and was glad that I did. Dakota Fanning was arresting as young Lucy, the daughter of Sam. I mean, really, this girl seem so mature in her acting. Sean Penn is just as good as Sam. He was very convincing in his role as the incidental father with a lower IQ.

I love the story. The beautiful relationship between the normal kid and her father who has a mental of a 7 year old. And Dakota Fanning... Man, I really love this kid. She was such a natural when depicting Lucy's close relationship with her father, protecting him from harm. And she has such mature affection for her father... She portrayed the role really well.

"All you need is love", that's the movie's subtle message. I am Sam.

I am Joyce. :)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Some additions to the movie. I was far too tired last night...

1) In one scene, Michelle Pfeiffer (Rita), the lawyer of Sam, was trying to discuss Sam about how would she present Sam's personality in court. She threw out a few phrases to describe Sam's condition. All of them were describing Sam's condition mentally. Along the lines of retard, low IQ, etc etc... And she say, "I don't know what to call you."
And Sam said, "Sam. My name is Sam. Just call me Sam."
- So many times we treat or classify people with what they can do, or what they achieved. When often times, we fail to see that everyone is the same.

2) Nearing the end, Rita visited Sam, after Lucy was placed in the adopted home. Sam was building a wall, literally and metaphorically in his own home, attempting to encase himself in his own private corner. He told her that people like her live perfect lives, and wouldn't understand people like him.
Rita tore down the wall and told him that perfect people like her have problems too. And went on to tell him the problems she is going through. That action startled Sam. But they end up hugging each other anyway.
- It coincides with a thought I had this week. You know, we all are not perfect persons right? We all have problems. It doesn't mean that if your problem overwhelms you means that they are bigger problems than mine. I always remember a quote from Ally Mcbeal series:

Georgia Thomas: Ally, what makes your problems so much bigger than everybody else's?
Ally McBeal: They're mine.

(courtesy imdb.com)

That's a way of looking at it comically. But it reflects that alot of times, we think we are very, very unfortunate. My view is that we tend to be trapped in our own hole when we said that. We can only see what our eyes fall. But really, compared to injustice and sadness with other people from other parts of the world... we are still better.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Call me positive or whatever. I still think that "things could be alot worse" (quote from Ever After). It's just that I see that no one's life is perfect. You have problems, He has problems, She has problems, They have problems, I have problems. EVERYONE in this imperfect world has problems. But there is no need to allow our problems to pull us down.

In these situations, the last thing we want to hear are patronising words to tell us that things will work out, God will make a way etc etc... Because they are ineffective and sometimes, even detrimental to the soul. But they are reminders that we need to keep ourselves above waters. If we let our problems continue to bring us down, down into the abyss, we will never be able to get out.

It's our own lives, our own decisions. We decide if we want to be happy in it, or not. We cannot move mountains, turn back time or zap irritating people out of our way. But we can make decisions that will get us away from the mountains, move on from the past or deal with the "irritating" in the people.

We will grow out of problems, one by one.

Take Picture! Take Picture!

This is what I say nowadays whenever I am on a food outing :P

Tonight, it's the very old food centre next to BB Headquarters along Grange Road. I've forgotten to take a picture of the sign. Darn... The hawker centre will be moving over to a new location nearby next year. Most of the stallholders have left the place (read: retired) and as you can see here, the place looks really old. But charming. There are fewer food centres like this one in Singapore nowadays, as Y (who was my dinner companion) and I remembers the old world charm of these dining locations.

Dinners at the food centre.

The crowd were mostly people in their late 20s - 40s. I guess people like us are still very attached to such original places.

One of the three dishes we ordered from the Zhi Char (literal meaning 'Cooked and Fried' in Hokkien) stall at the food centre. Panfried Toufu.

Stirred Fried Dou Miao.

Their signature dish, Sweet and Sour Fried Fish.
My favourite of the lot! :D

Half way through the meal, it poured. Feeling glad that I was not caught in the rain, I continue eating. Then *BLINK!* I realised that I've forgotten to close the windows in my brother's room and the ones in the kitchen. I had clean forgotten that I was the last person who had left the house, and forgotten to check the other windows. They must be wet now. And suddenly, my appetite took a nose dive. But then, I soon got over it, as Y putted it. "It's already a done thing. There's nothing you can do. Just finish the food and go home quick lor!" Agreeing with him, I continue to enjoy my meal.

By the time we've finished our dinner, the rain had reduced to light drizzle. We (specifically me) quickly walked to the bus stop to take the bus home. Imagine my relief when mom called me from home and asked me where was I, and waryingly, I asked her was brother's room and the kitchen wet. She said "hannor, but I've clean them up already". I couldn't detect any reprimanding tone in her over the phone. And boy was I glad to verify my fear that she will scold me were unfounded.

Phew!! :D Another nice, nice night! Actually, I have a feeling that I must've done something right today and that God is giving me a pat on the shoulder. :D

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear anonymous passerby,

Click on the song "Unbelievable" or "Beautiful Love" or "Wishes". For your listening pleasure :)

The rest of you, please enjoy selections by DJ Twinkies from the album by Emi Fujita - Rembrandt Sky :)

Good Times Revisited

As mentioned yesterday, I had to get myself that pair of shoes. So I messaged PA last night promptly when the shoes didn't fit, and invited her to join me for shoe shopping today. So here it is, my latest addition to my shoe collection...

It's not Manolo Blahniks, nor is it Nine West, or Esprit, or Zara, or Mango... They are not made of leather. But they are nice! :) Very comfortable too. That is, till I put them to the real test in the very near future :) But for now... I am just beaming with pride. I've finally got that pair of shoes! :D

We didn't feel like having dinner. But I told PA that I would like to have ice-cream. We were both very near Venezia ice-cream stall then, and even though PA had told me that she has had ice-cream twice for the past 2 weeks, she gamingly join me... Hehehe...

On the left, PA's hand holding a Mango + Dark Chocolate combination;
Me with with my Raspberry + Peanut Butter combination on the right

The Peanut Butter flavour was heavenly! MMmmmmm!! :D I am a happy girl once again! We chatted for sometime about stuffs while savouring the yummilicious ice-cream. After that, with still no feeling of intense hunger, we went for a stroll around Ngee Ann City. More damage done to the bank. I stepped into WH and bought for myself 2 tank tops. But it ends there. Other visits to Zara and Mango were tempting trips, but we did our best to withhold the desire to spend. And succeeded :D

By then, the shops were closing, and we went to Orange Julius to have orange juice and sausage + nachos. Yummy. Pity it was rather dark where we were seated, otherwise, I would have posted pictures of the "meal".

It was an enjoyable night. Just PA and me snacking, window-shopping-ing, admiring clothes we can't afford, doing girlie stuffs and just talking about life in general :) We reckoned when she moves in with JU to our residential areas after their ROM, there will be more of such nights. It was one of those things we chatted about earlier. That we should continue to meet up, friends should continue to hang out even if any of them got attached. Friendships are important.

So there. It was a good night. I spent time with my friend, and it was a great time :)

New Pictures

Well, it's been sometimes since I've added some pictures to this blog... So here's some pictures taken after my movie watching last night. This are taken at a new Hong Kong style tea cafe at Marina Square. The first two pictures is the look of the cafe from inside, where I was seated. Followed by:

1) Soup noodles with luncheon meat and egg;


2) L's "yuanyang" beverage, a mixture of tea and coffee;


3) Fried Carrot Cake and


4) Spring rolls

After watching "The Devil Wears Prada" with L, I felt hungry and we settled at this cafe. It was past 9.30pm. The place is crowded, probably because people (like me, I think) are coming here just before the IMF meeting commence. Going to Suntec and Marina will not be as convenient for the next two weeks.

Prior to the tea cafe, we paid a visit to a shoe shop there. I had forgotten to visit the store the other time we were there, for I had wanted to buy a pair of shoes from there. But the shoes are no more when I went to the store. However I did find a pair of really comfortable shoes there (in my size 9 nonetheless!). But they ran out of the design and colour that I like, and although the pair was really comfortable, I wasn't really "in love" with them. Such a pity... The shoes were really comfortable :( No worries, I will go and check out the other branches in Orchard today to see if they stock them. *Crossing fingers*

But other damages were done to the pocket. While waiting for L after I've gotten the tickets, I strolled into a used CD store. Bad move. Came out with 2 CDs by Emi Fujita and Miki Imai. And they are not even used! :P

"The Devil Wears Prada" is a little below what I had expected. I like the casting though. Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep are nice to watch. Streep's character is vicious and difficult. Very nit-picky. But I guess people in the fashion industry are like that. That's why I did not stay beyond a day at a merchandising job at Robinsons when they hired me :P But then again, my destiny would've changed if I did stay. But then THEN again... I am a late bloomer. I may not make a dent anyway :P

So I am back to where I am now. Still looking for opportunities, still looking for That Big Break.

The International Exchange

Do we leave our Messenger on just to affirm our existence in this world?

'Cuz sometimes I would rather not turn it on, because it could be on for the entire day and nobody comes up to check things out with me. Or me checking things out on them.

Do we leave the Messenger on so that we know that we take up some space in other people's lives, but they may not necessary care about our existence in their lives?

Well, actually we do care about the existence of others. Only when we need their help.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

That's what friends are for, to make use of each other, a friend once commented. I kinda reject the thought at first. But then, it made perfect sense. Friendship nowadays are looking like transactions. In the ideal situation, care and concern for one another will garner the same in return, if not more.

But most of the time, we are too caught up with our lives to be bothered to give the other person a fair trade in return. We make use of another person when we need their time to be our emptiness-filler. The other person used us to get away from thoughts of someone they hate or dislike.

It's a exchange somewhat. Give me something, and I will give you my time, my ear, my eye, my chocolates. Be nicer, and maybe I will give you my touch.

So in case you need me, just pop me a message on my Messenger. But I'll have to see if I feel like replying to you or not. Let my time, my eye, my ear, my concentration make the choice.

My Messenger is on.

[ I'm sorry. The current mood now is... wistful. ]

Sianz-Mind Blank-Sianz

Sianz.

There are alot of things going on in my life now. No, not life-changing stuffs.

Just alot of work. Homework. Birthday work I promised someone to do for his mother's 70th birthday. Work I have yet started to get myself back on track spiritually. Housework. Coordination work - forever ongoing. I am constantly coordinating something for some people.

I don't want to think, frankly. Maybe that's why I feel so sianz. Or maybe because I am sianz thats why I don't want to think, and I feel more sianz.

AAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!