Little Specks Of Earthly Activities...

Thought of the day...

If I feel strongly that something needs to be done, I better go ahead and voice it out or forever remain in silence. At least I know I have done it. I will not regret that I did not do what I should have done days down the road.

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If do not blog for a day, it means the world has became bored (to me) for the day.

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Interesting email incident today. Today in my email, I saw a games invite email with HIS email addy on it. Instantly, about a hundred thoughts came to my mind. Should I open and see? Yes.

The email was like any other unsolicited email inviting me to go sign up some game site. Another hundred other thoughts came to mind. Should I participate? Should I let him know that I am as friendly even though what happened? Should I just show him that I am ok and I can respond to the invite positively?

No. Yes. Yes.

The Yes won and I went on to click on links after links, filling up details page after page. It's only when I came to the page where the website asked me to fill up credit card details that I found out that I have been doped by internet marketing.

Well, at least I know where I stand now. I am willing to stay in contact with him. I am willing to be a friendly person to him. But the feelings is now minimum hatred, more willing for reconciliation.

But... it's not always felt the same way on the other side of the scale.

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Our government is really very very rich. Each person a few hundred... Each household a few thousand... Millions of Singaporeans...

Very, VERY rich.

.... .... ... . . . .

Many people questioned about the intention of the giveaway. For me, it's just right here right now. Whatever will be, will be. At least the money comes in handy for those people who need it for their daily necessity, like school fees, food for the kids, utilitiy bill, telephone bill, rental of flats... In view of all these, do you think they care if that is an underhand manner the government is doing in order to win votes? I don't think so.

To them, it's a very practical way the government is telling them, "I want to help you." For those of you who have never tasted poverty, who lives in a 5-room flat, or own a car , or who wouldn't bat an eyelid for an imported CD, home entertainment system, air-condition, designer bags, club, drink, smoke... and still complain that the government has a motive in doing this...

You will never understand how grateful the destitutes are to this money. At least the money is put to good use to those who need the money. Whether for small pleasures or big bills, it's money they need that they can't get any other way.

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PGH sms-ed me and ask if I am interested to join the Purpose Driven Life group tonight. This is the 2nd time I was asked. I don't feel like going and replied her at mid noon to tell her that I am not available tonight. I don't like to lie, but can't think of any other better way to say no. Guess I will have to come clean if she is going to ask me again.

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Was at NTUC and passed by the pasta shelf. Decided that tomorrow will be pasta-tryout day. Bought 2 packets of spaghetti, and 2 cans of sauce that looked like they are invented for simpletons like me. Will get meat (beef hopefully), tomatoes, olive oil, herbs and spice (advice from colleague) tomorrow.

Hear it here tomorrow... from FFTF!

A Drop Of My Swirling Life

You know, the Osim iGallop commercial (we call it TVC) featuring Jasclyn Tay and Ix Shen is kinda corny. I can so spot the "pian lang" portions(sorry, it comes with the job):

1) Obviously, she doesn't do horseriding, when she "does" in the TVC, we cannot see her face.

2) When she came to a halt, there were suppose to be hair swinging at the side of her head, but when the camera view switched, her hair was tied back.

3) She is obviously too fair to fit the "Hey, I didn't know you do horseriding" comment.

Enuff said. Obviously, the other iGallop advertisement with female models didn't really go down well with the female viewers in Singapore, and they have to change strategy. The sexual connotations to that advertisement was too obvious. It's a health product and I guess, they have to do it the "healthy" way using these 2 celebrities.

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I screwed up on the job again. My job entails alot of proofreading and checking. And sometimes, because of the countless changes to the work, I missed out the minor point. Kena from boss again. It's my weakness at work, and it occur many times in my previous jobs too. I really have to be more conscientious. Afterall, in my boss's word "clients pay us to do these kinda job", if I need the client to point it out to me, then it's really bad.

It's not as if I wasn't careful. After her reminder earlier, I was more careful, but it still happen. ARGH. I just need to try harder.

It's one of my aim to be a better work, so that I can move on to other things in life. I am not better, so I can't move on. I HAVE TO work harder. Last Sunday, during THE APPRENTICE, Shania Twain told the winning team that one of her successes is to keep pushing yourself. When we think we have reached, we need to try even harder. That comment has been sitting in my mind. I haven't been trying hard enough, hence the current state of my career. I have to try harder. I have to be better.

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I really cannot figure why Singaporeans are so silly. Tonight's Shin Min reports of a 32 year old woman CID passing her gun to her boyfriend who is jobless and married. I mean, helloo... that is so foolish.

I just do not understand why Singaporean women allow Singaporean men to make her a fool. Some commit embezzlement... Some allow their boyfriends or husbands to abuse their own children... Some traffick drug, sell their own bodies to feed the scums...

Yes, love is blind... but like.. HELLO?! God didn't give us a mind to idle... God didn't give us the freedom to make choices for nothing...

Even if I am desperate, I wouldn't want to end up with scums like these. It's so stupid! Got better things to do man. These able man who live off women are just the scums of the earth. I truly despise them.

But then again, are they truly Singaporean men out there whom I can look up to? Frankly no, cos my standards are too high liao. They CMI lah... Very superficial. A friendster person message me last week. Think he scuttered off when I mention that I go for bible studies on Sunday. Haha! Another one dropped me when I didn't give him my msn and insist on communication on friendster messages first.

Shallow beyond a shadow of doubt.

Brrgghhh and Argh.

Well, at normal times, I will be finishing blogging about Grey's Anatomy now.

Tonight's different. I log on as usual to do my usual email checking thingy... and there in the inbox, I saw a subject "translate please" from a friend of a neighbouring country.

First reaction in my mind was... Now what? I didn't expect a goodwill to do a simple translation earlier will render another request in such a short period... is this going to be the beginning of many "free" translation that I will do for her?

I am not being calculative of what... But I hope she does not start to take me for granted and doormat me... I have grown all too sensitive to such treatment of being taken advantage of, being defensive is the only reaction I have now. Immediately.

But upon the file, I thought, what the heck, treat it as a practice. She was on MSN, and I told her that I read the file and will translate and forward it back to her. I also told her in jest if I will get the share of the money if she makes money.

It's not that I am being selfish about this new skill... But it is a skill that people can ask for "favours" of which I will find it hard to refuse, and they know I will not be firm enough to say "No" and I will probably end up doing alot... for free. And I will then hate myself for saying "yes".

SHe has promised me sushi treats when I go visit her the next time. But that is not the point. I just hope that she doesn't treat me like a dumb-dumb doing free translation for her. I didn't study the subject for "goodwill".

Yes, I have evoloved from a goody-do-until-I-die, to a oversensitive freak who is always afraid of being tread upon, who talks more business than "favours". I want to be the good friend who wants to help, but I also do not want to give her a false notion that I can do it as and when she wants me to do it... Was remembered of one time when she knew about me doing freelance, she actually asked me to go and get the sales for her husband so that he work backend and I work on the sales... That conversation surprised me. So, you know why am I weary.

I took one hr and 15 mins to finish the translation. Have sent it to her.

Brghhhhh. Maybe next time I should use up a week to translate and not translate so fast.

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Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy tonight is about 2 pregnant women and both lost their babies. At least I think Gabrielle has. Christina has lost hers due to some tumour thing that caused to faint in the OT. So Burke doesn't know about her pregnancy. And he was beating his chest as he watch her helplessly, possibly regretting his decision to call it off with her.

Meredith's mom went into the hospital and the secret is out that her mom, who once was a top-notch surgeon, has got Alzheimer's.

There were so many scenes in this episode that resembles real life. What we feel and felt. Helplessness, blushes, wonderings, sadness, friends of Christina being with her when she goes through the operation, Meredith crying by herself and refuse to let Derrick talk to her, then got up and tell him hating him is the most exhausting for her, compared to her mom, and she wants to stop this altogether.

Argh. I thought I could turn in earlier.

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This morning on MSN, while having conversation with a friend who asked me if I kept in touch with some of the irc guys... We drew the conclusion that these people have nano intention to make friends, the main intention is to meet girls. And since we do not bring in more girls, we are no longer "touchable". Then I told friend that 新加坡什么样的男人，我都看过，见怪不怪。I've forgotten how, but I told him that I 傻得让别人把我当笨蛋。

I think he felt sorry for me, and say that I should have Ah Q spirit... of which I replied... 只好这样，我有选择吗？He didn't reply to me.

只好这样，我有选择吗？

The Answer To All This Depression

I walked into the worship hall asking God to show me something about my hopelessness. I am expecting Him to grant me some kind of understanding to what I have been experiencing lately. In fact, I am very desperate, I talked to Him about it before I go to bed last night. Which really goes to show how desperate I am because I haven't been praying regularly recently.

In fact, up to last night, I couldn't decide which church to go to today. Not until friend messaged me to confirm whether or not I am meeting her tomorrow. And I gave a yes to her. So thereafter, I decided to put aside my confused and depressive mind and allow God to talk to me in a different environment.

The worship was good. However, my mind was still churning question marks after question marks of why I have gotten myself into this super depressive mood. Of why things just go southwards.

Then I had a constant impression. Of Jesus as the sacrifice, so that sinners of the world are saved. My departure from QBC is going to benefit others in the church of similiar situation as me. I am the sacrifice, for the betterment of the others. So that they will not need to go through what I need to go through. I am the contrast.

Suddenly, history came back to me. I remembered there was one time I had realised that I am chosen to be the sacrificial lamb for the other singles in church. I have to be the big bang that shouts out the needs of the other singles. My disappearance will cause ripples, so that people will sit up and notice the situation. This is the purpose of why I am "forced" to take action on the current singles state in church.

Yes, this is definitely an affirmation. I believe, from God. I was so excited I wanted to email this revelation to people who knows my intention of leaving, but I haven't make it official yet. But I think I should give sometime for at least one more confirmation befor I make it official.

I just hope that the singles issue will not be just an unimportant one that can be swept under the carpet, taking a lowest priority as one of the real needs of church members. I hope they don't delay this need until their own children start to worry about their singlehood then they take action. That will be a horrendous wait.

After the service, I know I am better. At least, I've got the answer to what I've asked God for. I will review this again in the next week. With prayer and reading the Bible. I believe God will affirm it again. So that I can make it official.

Negativity Has Made A Nest

Finally. Unexpectedly.

I never know I will come to this stage. I always thought that I will stay joyful forever and ever, regardless whether I am with others or when I'm alone. Apparently no.

I thought I have great amount of positive energy to strengthen others. But now I am in need of positive energy myself.

I am truly living what is known as... Hopelessness.

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I'm sure you are not surprised that "The Hours" is one of my favourite movie, given the tone of my writing.

Why, I was already feeling melacholic at the start of the movie. Realised that no matter how many smiles I show, no matter how many jokes I tell, I am a pessimist at heart.

Ed Harris' character etched a sentence in my mind. "I stay alive to satisfy you." He said this to Meryl Streep's character, who somehow is very busy and always pre-occupied with things and taking care of business. Put both toqether and you know the woman is feeling empty and insecure, and losing her self-worth. Losing control.

Like the parts about Virginia Wolf played by Nicole Kidman. The way she wonders about life... Something I do alot.

Then there is the part about writers writing about life. Everything... The smell. the sights, the touch... Every detail. Sometimes it's difficult to be understood by others, but it's the expression of the writer's memory.

Virginia Wolf left a memorable line in my mind too. She wanted to be released from her own entrapment and had a confrontation of some sort with the husband Leonard.

"I live in a life that I do not wish to live in."

Is that what I am feeling now?

Also, there is this part about why Viriginia Wolf wrote that somebody has to die in her book. The husband asked why, she replied that someone has to die so that there is a contrast, so that people around the dead character will value life.

That's similar to what I had compared the previous time when I decided to leave QBC. I had to go so that people start to value what is there.

I am the contrast.

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Last look at the Singapore River. Took this picture when the movers cleared out the remaining furnitures from our (now old) office at Singapore Land Tower on Thursday. Byebye 26th floor.

We had our dinner at the food court. This was one of the fool-around Motorola shots taken when we had nothing to do.

Proof of fooling around...

Reports...

I sent him a birthday message via Friendster yesterday. It's been more than 24 hours liao. Bo response. No, not Bo Bice who responded (haha... I wish!!) I didn't get any response from him. So I reckon, I could drop him off my friends list... give him another week or so, if still no response even when he logs in everyday... At least I won't get any reminders when I see his face when I click on the first page of "My Friends". I don't think I need to keep any good impressions of him anymore, this fake Christian.
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Ever wonder that little details about your dressing speaks volumes about you? What kinda bag you carry, the hair you sport, the kind of earring you wear, the nail polish you wear, the shoes you wear, the purse you carry, the necklace you wear, the watch you wear... I think they tells me more about you than your overall dresssing coordination.

For example, if you, like any other 5 women working at Raffles Place, carries a Gucci pattern bag (genuine or fake), I think you are someone who cares more about brand than individuality. To you, carrying something branded means more than carrying your own brand, your own personality...

Shoes. I love to examined shoes when I take the train or the lift, or waiting for buses or trains... Sometimes, a women will be so coordinated, her shoes don't match. I do that lotsa times. Sometimes, the shoes are the biggest statement of a men or a young working girl.

I think shoes tell me alot about who you are deep inside. Shoes are one form of expressing the true person inside the shell. If you are girl who is romantic at heart, I will see you wearing pink, ribbons, flowers, or butterfly patterns on your feet. If you are practical lady, your shoes will most probably be thick-soled, and made of good quality leather. For the ladies who wear flat sandals... no matter how good your suit coordinated on you... a pair of flat sandals = casual. And if you match it with your suit, you are sloppy. I'm sorry, you really do look sloppy. Flats are best worn with casual jeans or capri pants (NOT BERMUDAS pls!).

If you are a guy who wears branded sports shoes, you care alot about of what others think of you. If you are one who wears good shirts with good shoes, you know what it is to be confident. You ARE confident. If you wear sports shoes with work pants... Er... I think you got your wardobe mixed up, and I think your life in general needs some tune up too. That's all, guys don't have much things to say. Haha! ;)

The above are just my personal observations while letting my eyes wonder as I wait for public transport. They do not represent the view of all women, so please don't lash it out at them when you hear them mentioning similar things about shoes. :)

No Hope

It's sad but it's true.

After my dinner with a few of the ladies from QBC, I reflect on the conversations that we had about singles, men, married, perfect partner, QBC and people, on the way home, on the bus.

And the conclusion is that, frankly, I have lost hope. On men, on getting married, on QBC. That is what I have come to understand of during one of the Sunday sermons at FCBC.

(Last one of 3 point sermon is grow in faith. I re-listen to the sermon :)

On men: Even though they (the married one and the about to marry one) kept emphasising that there are good men around. And I kept saying no, because I have seen just about any kind of Singaporean men. They kept saying that there is no perfect men. Yes, I do understand that. *HOWEVER*, I am not asking for the sky. IMO, I think my requirement for a future partner is very simple. But the quality of local men... yucks.

(I am sorry to the good men out there whom I have yet to meet, but truly, your local counterparts really sucks big time.)

Anyway, I don't think I am hung up on local men. I really don't want to talk about them anymore. It's no longer worth dwelling on.

Then, no hope on the church. I think the church is too focus on getting things done. It has forgotten that God made us with flesh and blood and we are made with a heart and we have feelings and needs. Needs of the people can be delayed, so that goals and objectives can be achieved and reached.

Very sad. But... haiz.

Then personally, I don't dream or have focus on God as much. I am being honest. I have sorta lost it liao. All the busyness in the previous years have granted me excuses to delayed God.

I want to search and seek it back. How, I don't know... But somethings need to be done.

Monday TV and A Sob Story

I know, I know... you are gonna grin now cos you know I will be writing about Grey's Anatomy again... What to do, I can't help it. I really really like the show. It's like ER you know... but more personal, I guess...

[please pretend that my spelling is correct, I didn't checkout the website for the actual names of the characters... hmm.. maybe I should...]

I like the showdown between (Derrick) Shepherd and (Preston) Burke over a patient who is not completely dead. Both of their women were watching how would they react. Both won; Shepherd get to do his best to save a patient, and Burke learnt to give in to right decisions for the right cause.

I also like the part when Meredith and Christina told George off. That he should come clean with Olivia, the nurse he nearly got together with, that he don't really like her. Guess both women had enough of man not telling them, and hurled out to George to tell him to do the right thing. Well, George did, and Olivia thanked him for being honest.

(Guys, it's always ego that prevent you from coming clean and being honest. What the heck, get it over and done with. So that other people can get on with their lives!)

That is something I will do to a friend. I will tell a person off if I know he/she is doing more harm than good to another person. Because alot of times, as a 3rd person, I saw the situation in the eye of the other person, and is able to give advice so that no more damage is done. And I pride myself with this gifting :)

Then there is also this memorable part that closes. After George told Olivia what he need to tell her, Olivia reminded him that he need to inform the family of the man Shepherd is trying to save that he is not dead, but needs to be operated on because of the tumour.

George recalls when earlier, he thought that a patient is dead and there is no need to waste time trying to rescucitate him, and Dr Bailey asked him what is the reason that they try to save patients that comes through their door.

Besides for experience, the other answer is, so that they know that they did their best.

I thought that was very powerful thing to bring to bed with, isn't it? Even when at times, things seemed beyond our salvage, we still need to put in our best. It's the accountability to ourselves, and sometimes, it's also the accountability to others too.

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Before Grey's Anatomy began, I was flipping through Xing Ming to see if there are any news to get updated with. After reading one of the article, I cried.

A women passed away 3 months after she felt that she had some throat pain. It was throat cancer. The report shows her shriveling at 30 plus kg from 50 plus kg. The husband has sold his car and used up all his savings to finance the medical bills. And now he is left with 5 children (2 pairs of twins and one daughter). They are currently living in JB and he hopes to fetch them back so that he can take care of them.

My heart goes out to the kids and the father. The lost of a mother and a wife is not an easy pain to get by. And for the young children (they are all under 9 years old), how will they go on with their lives?

It's very very sad. I said a prayer for the family, and hope you will say one for them too. The father's name is Li Bao Hong.

I do wonder... there are people out there who live hard lives. Why then, are they people who spend money like nobody's business? Why are there people still wasting time on unforgiveness? Why do people still fight over little little things and being petty?

Life is so much more than these.

I couldn't be bothered if it happen or not

I forgot to add something about "Yours, Mine and Ours" movie. Renee Rusoe was having an argument with Dennis Quaid on the way the children are raised. He goes by the rules and she prefers to let the children be what they are, because rules will not matter as "all this things (their lives, what they have etc) may be taken away from them anytime, so the rules will not matter anymore then."

Very tsunami-aftermath sounding.

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Went to QBC today and had lunch with Ps.E. Our walk to the hawker centre was a relatively quiet one. She did most of the talking over lunch, while I am my usual reserve self. She mentioned about the church planning on some retreat for the singles, and it will be delayed. I couldn't believe that I actually replied "It has been delayed for years, I couldn't be bothered if it happen or not." Think it kinda surprised her.

Then she asked what can she pray for me about, beside study and work, I told her what I have been thinking that my time in QBC is up (I thought I could use the more spiritual word "season").

Finally, I got these things outta my chest. Feels good.

Bits and Pieces...

A Caucasian family were on the same bus as me tonight. They were seated on the same row but different sides of the busy. The lady kept looking at her map, and asked the husband if they need to get down to walk. As I was facing the lady, I don't know what was the reaction of the husband. But I guess he didn't want to, as her face looked resigned that the husband is not giving any ideas.

Then she couldn't hold her patience any longer and walked to the driver and asked him for directions. The minute she does that, I was reminded in one of the cartoon or american tv series, the women was lamenting that that's the thing about men, they are too proud to ask for directions. And here it is, living right in front of me. Haha! ;)

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Brought nieces to watch Disney on Ice today. Wah, at the door, candy floss are selling at $12 a pop and mugs moulded with the faces of disney characters and filled with ice are worth $15 each, the programme magazine is sold at $20 each... I think it's ridiculous. Saw a women bought each of everything and thought to myself... She must've at least $50 on all those things..

Crazy. And I already can envision that they will be put aside by my nieces 2 weeks after the show.

It's my first time watching Disney on Ice. I thought it was pretty nice, even though it's all ice-skating. Like the Mulan story and Beauty and the Beast story presented in ice-skating. And like my niece, I like the part when all the princessess came out together to dance with their princes. Very nice.

Will I go again? Maybe yes, if the girls request for it. I will definitely not pay for those super expensive snacks. Crazy.

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"Yours, Mine, Ours" is a very funny show. The story is definitely very recycled, but it does score if you are a person who likes wholesome shows. Oh, and also, the father (Dennis Quaid) and mother (Renee Rusoe) are not fat! I think both of them are in their 40s liao... their figures look as if they are still trapped in the early 30s...

That's what you have to do in Hollywood to survive.

As I watched the show, I told myself that I must work hard to earn more money. Don't ask me why, it just came up to me. That I must be hardworking and do very well in my translation class, so that I can freelance work and earn more money. So that I won't have to scrimp and worry about to give or not to give my nieces a treat to watch Disney on Ice. And also to have some decent savings for myself...

Most important of all, I have resolved not to be lazy and to be conscientious in my schoolwork. My goal is not just to pass, but to pass with good scores so that I can practice what I (claim) I like to do, get a decent looking diploma and earn money with it. Otherwise, why bother to spend money on it, only to waste it away, right?

I will begin my resolvement... tomorrow, I hope. :P

Beauty and the Geek

[This tv reality show will be on it's last 3 episodes (I think) from next week. So better catch it if you are staying home on Fridays, 7.30pm ]

I have been following the show since 2 weeks back, I think blokes oughta catch this one. Basically, the show puts 7 geeks (READ: nerds) and 7 beauties (READ: Lingerie model and beer promotion gal kind) together in mansion and see how they get along. Each geek is paired up with a beauty and each episode, each gender is tested on a subject that they are unfamiliar with. The winner gets to pick people to go to a test room to test out their knowledge and if they fail out of 6 qns (between the pair), they get booted out.

Tonight's episode, the girls challenge was to test on their knowledge on "finance" which really is maths. They are sent to a shop and are to purchase a new wardrobe for their geek partner and the final bill, including tax, must not be over US$1000. What kinda challenge is that? However, I think their effort paid off. With new clothes and better hair, most of the geeks look really charming in the getup put together by the girls. I think one even look as suave as Matthew McConaughey...

So now that they are dressed appropriately, the guys challenge were to go out in public and get the most number of telephone numbers of ladies. Well, the process was interesting. But some of the blokes learn through the process, while others just can't get out of their low self-confidence shell.

Then comes the final challenge. The girls were tested on "finance" and the guys on rules of dating a girl.

My jaw dropped at the questions posed to the girls... "If you have 5 dozen of roses, how many roses are there?" "What is 15% of $50"

Duh. I am not kidding.

"If you buy a shirt worth $15 and another dress $24 dollars, plus a shoes $45, how much do you spent?"

Double Duh. These are primary 2-3 Maths in Singapore. I mean, really, are the girls really so...?

Then comes the guys' challenge. "On a first date, who should foot the bill?"

Wah lauuuuuu.....

"How many percent of tip on a dinner date should you give to impress the girl?"

HUH? And yes, there is an answer to that question.

Well, at least the challenges in the earlier episodes were more interesting... How to make rockets for girls, aromatherapy for the guys... Now that I am typing this, I think the objective of the series is pretty obvious. To show the world that geeks are as geek as they can get, and beauties from the beer and lingerie arena don't know their maths. Well, I guess that's what you can expect from the series producer, Ashton Kutcher. (Wonder what did Demi Moore see in him...)

Well, one thing for sure. I think the show proved that I am right in my theory of the dressing of men. The guys really look so much better (yes, in the girls words "hot!") when their hairs are coloured and cut to style, and they are dressed in more stylish shirts and jeans. Yes, the geeks in the show all wear pants and shirts one...

As for the answer to the guys questions:
"On a first date, who should foot the bill?"
- It's not the guy. It's the person who ask the other out first. Or the Asker. (Americans!!!)

"How many percent of tip on a dinner date should you give to impress the girl?"
- 20%. Haha.. now this is really unbelievable. Even the girl partner of the guy who answer that question says she doesn't know about it too.

The blatant truth about Mars and Venus. AMERICAN Mars and Venus.

Fiona Xie And Perth

After American Idol tonight, I switched to Channel 8. Fiona Xie and Chen Xiu Li were hosting a travel show on tv, introducing Perth.

Fiona Xie is a very very pretty girl. Almost perfect I guess, if you rate her looks. Initially, I try not to give her a second look ("try to" because, she is so pretty, how do you ignore her?!) because at times I am quite put off by her "deh" voice and her impure Chinese. She has got this really ang moh accent also, so I thought she is one of those "jia kan dang" girls who are always trying to be banana. Also, I think she has alot of actions, reckon that she is just trying to get attention. Also because, she has already got alot of attention from, I believe, more than 95% of the alpha males in Singapore, she doesn't need my attention anyhow... It was probably because when she first started up, she was assigned to "cute cute" or "flower vase" roles, so it kinda put of alot of people like me. We think she is just pretending.

However, as I watch the show, I think this girl is rather watchable, and I think I am beginning to like her. Watching her sliding down the sand "hill" (?!) at 45 degree, then 70 degree, I thought she is quite an adventurous girl. I think I will be like Chen Xiu Li, freezing throughout the slide. But Fiona (see, I am calling her Fiona now, haha! ;) just breeze down the sand, unafraid of the challenge. That is pretty impressive.

Well, maybe she has had enough opportunities and adventures all her life, (consider her beautiful looks, it's not difficult for her to do adventure stuffs. I mean her salary that earn her endorsments and tv shows lah, not other means...) and no lack of boyfriends to shower her with trips like that... So it's not difficult for her to be bold, because she is exposed to such adventures.

For me to go to such trips, I gotta save, save, save... And when I reach the place, I will say no, I won't wanna try, because I am just too chicken... But after watching Fiona on tv, I think I will try it, if I do go there! ;)

- - - - - - - - - - -

Yes, Perth.

I heard alot of stories of people saying Perth is a retirees place. But after watching the show, I don't think so leh. Sliding down the sand (above) is one adventure, the beach, the camel, the dolphins, the shopping, the rocks (?!), the river rafting... I think it's my kinda place! No wild rides, but simply enjoying natural surroundings and BEACHES!!! Soooooo beautifulllll!!!

It makes me wanna go Perth very much. It made me change my mind about Perth.

I want to go Perth!!!
I want to go Perth!!!
I want to go Perth!!!

Personality Explained

I never know that filling up a survey also give you a breakdown of your personality. Filled up a SmartTV survey from Starhub and below was it's findings about me..

The Realistic Romantic


Flexible and positive in your outlook, you tend to take things in your stride and are unfazed by sudden changes of direction. Where others see problems, you see opportunities. Where others see danger, you see adventure. Your cheerful disposition compels you to make the best of every situation. In your view, life's a buffet - so why stick to one dish? But while you savour surprises and relish variety, you are neither a outlandish trendsetter nor a slavish follower of fashion. You know what you like - and quite often that's the tried and true rather than the hot and hip. During your leisure time, you usually choose to relax and be entertained rather than challenged. Your strong practical streak makes you selective in your embrace of new technology and you harbour a healthy suspicion of gimmickry. While you are definitely not into filling up your life with gadgets, you welcome products that will make your life easier or eliminate unpleasant chores. Authentic experience - be it with or without a hand-held electronic device - is what turns you on!

- - - - - - - - - - -

Oklah, I think the analysis/diagnosis can pass...

IDIOTS! COMPLETE IDIOTS!!

I had the most unpleasant encounter with local boys this morning.

Had to deliver a document to a client's office. Upon arriving the office, saw a bunch of guys at the table nearest to me, and there were no receptionist.

Flashing (IMO) my brightest smile, I told them I am looking for so-and-so. The guys were too concentrated on their friend who came in front of me and completely ignore me. I asked again, can I know where is so-and-so. The boys just look at me and then look at one another, and continue to talk.

Irritated, I raised my voice and ask the question again. They look at me and look at the rest of the office, seem not knowing what to do.

I shook my head and went all the way into the office and ask a more formal-dressed guy where is the lady, who kindly told me that she is at the pantry, so that I can complete my mission.

I left the office and step into the lift and screamed "ARGH!!!! IDIOTS!! A BUNCH OF IDIOTS!! COMPLETE IDIOTS!! ARGH!!!!!!!"

- - - - - - - - - -

The least they could do was to come to me and ask me what I want. The least they could do was to tell me to wait while they go get her. The least they could do was to stand up and acknowledge me. The least they could was to move their butt and do something.

Singaporean men are so lack of in social graces! If you happen to know a friend who works in that building (a certain one at Martin Road) or in that office, who related to you about me, please tell them to check on their attitudes.

ARGH. IRRITATINGGGG!!! Spoil my morning!!

Compliments...

Yesterday had lunch with the next door neighbour, a Chinese national.

Walking towards China Square, she asked me do I go for facials, I said I do earlier, but now I do not. She said my skin looks good..........

*WOW!!! Oh mi goodness!! Really?? (Has an urge to touch my face but refrained...) REALLY!!*

"Oh, it's the products I used, I guess... gotta use facial products and stuffs.." And I am more than willing to share my "beauty secrets" with her on the way to the food court. Afterall, I didn't use SKII, and I receive compliments, of course must share those secrets.. Hahaha...

I met up with her before I started my translation class. During lunch, she commented that my Mandarin has improved...

*WOW!!! Oh mi goodness!! Really??* "Thanks to the classes, the classmates, and the environment...." And I went on and on about how I enjoy the classes, and how I have learnt from the teacher and the classmates.

Maybe she's being polite... but it sure is good to hear two compliments from one person in one lunch :)

- - - - - - - - - - -

Have you ever wonder why teenage girls in Singapore (most of them from all girls schools) like to sport spikey hair? You know those kind that is a very mild version of a mohawk? It's not as if they are butches or what, but I realise a great deal of them like to keep those hairstyles. Maybe they think because they are into sports, they should keep these kinda of hairstyle. Saw a couple of them in the train today. Makes me wonder....

- - - - - - - - - - -

This morning, suddenly a surge of feeling that I am living in a tv series came up when I was in the office. The office was busy. There were people on the phone, colleagues talking to one another, and I walked towards the pantry to make myself a cup of coffee.

Amongst the noise and sound, I imagine myself as a character in a tv series, doing a self narrative of some philosphical stuffs, with background music (preferably any track from Grey's Anatomy) slowly fading in, and people walking pass me, talking, to each other, on the phone...

It felt just like in a tv serial.

It's About Grey's Anatomy (again), Career And Death

Well, I think I will just write a little on Grey's Anatomy. Both Meredith and Christina have men who love them alot. However, their love, are implicated by issues of life. They thought for themselves, and they thought for another person. Life gets more complicated. Meredith realised that wife of Shepherd cheated on him first, but still, she need more from him to know this love is worth keeping. Christina, oh Christina... I missed the part when she told Burke that she is pregnant. My heart goes out to her when he told her that it is to the best interest of both that they split, using career advancement for both as a reason. I get more emotional when I saw her walking into the bar and told Meredith "he has dumped me."

It used to be such a strange word whenever I heard of it in the past. Nowadays, it erupt the buried emotions within me. My nose got sour, and tears were going to well up, but I held them back.

- - - - - - - - - -

We will be moving to another office next week, and boss was asking us how many boxes of namecards do we need. I was thinking about that in the shower just now.

Does that have a hidden meaning that I will stay with the company for the next 3 years, since we are going to print namecards good enough for 3 years? How about your plans to move to the translation arena, I ask myself. Will it happen within the 3 years? If it does, what are you going to do?

I have no idea. I guess, is que sera sera.

- - - - - - - - - -

Later part of the day, there was sadness in the office. Boss heard from someone that someone they knew passed away from pneumonia. She sobbed after telling the other partner about it, and my colleague too, cos she knows the lady who has passed away. Later I heard from her that the husband and the lady used to be in our company. But he did something behind the partner's back and was asked to leave. However, from the way boss cried, can tell that they used to be very close.

Something came to my mind as my colleague told me that the couple has a 7 year old daughter. I had it sms-ed to myself in case I forget after my aerobics class.

Even death brings with itself an opportunity for us to treasure those people around us. Surely we do not want our enemy to die of a horrible death, do we?

There has been alot of funerals and deaths in recent years. Maybe because we are growing older. The common reaction when we hear of someone we knew passed away suddenly, would be that... it's so sudden. We were talking to them sometime back... etc etc...

Then we will go into a time of self reflection, and most of us, I believe, will pay more attention to our loved ones for some period after the death of this person.

However, I guess today I learn that, truly, we should also love our enemies. We never know when will their lives be taken away from them. Granted that the partner did something bad, it doesn't mean boss will not grief over the loss of his wife.

Each of us mean something to someone, good or bad. However, we have reached the day and age where even though we dislike certain people (we used to call it hate) for what they have done, we are clear-headed enough not to wish that they die a horrible death. RIGHT? Even if they were to die suddenly, we will be shocked and sometimes, hope that the news is not true.

We only have one life. Do we want to waste it away on hatred? I know of cases when unresolved conflicts were brought to the grave by the dead. It will be gone with the dead, but for the living... the unsolved conflicts will plague us for life.

Today, tonight. I have decided to learn to let go of hatred and value even the most difficult person to get along with.

Because Life is really too short to be petty.

Weekends Are Becoming More Interesting

This weekend I went through an exam, a mother whose queer habits worries me, a worship service, Chinese idioms book shopping, a baby's arrival and a social gathering.

- - - - - - - - - - -

The exam was not what I had expected. Had to read a chinese write-up on Globalisation and write my views on it. Something like GP. The other was translation. I think it's easier than the translation homework that I've done. Neverthless, I can't boast, cos I left some blanks in both the GP and the translation script. Other than that, I think I did OK. (Yea, I think I am being hyprocrite when I write that, cos I want to say "I think I did very well". But I've learn the rule of thumb is to be humble, for reason that people may think I am too snobbish before the results were out. But then again, people may say I KK one if I say I very scared I will fail... Anyway...)

- - - - - - - - - - -

Then in the evening, went to Marina Square with my mom, sister and the 2 nieces. First of all, when we board the bus, there were alot of people. I got my seat with my niece and sister got hers. Mom was behind us and was walking to the back of the bus, when she suddenly decided to get a seat at the front. So she pushed her way through and got her seat. The traffic in the bus have to hold still because of her movement. And I go, what in the world did she do that?

When we alight from the bus, my mom didn't tap her EZLink card, so I asked her why. She stared at the bus blankly, smiling away. I asked her again, she did the same thing. Asked her the 3rd time, she said she paid by cash. (I think she was not telling the truth because knowing her, she will never pay by cash if she has her card with her. And she did not inform us that she did not bring her card.) I was quite flustered (yeah, over such things) cos for a moment I thought my mom had become dumb, as in old people dumb, cos she wasn't responding to me.

We went to the food court for dinner. She just anyhow pulled the chair from a table next to us and wants to switch it with the one we had, which was warm from the previous customers. WITHOUT ASKING THE PERMISSION OF THE PEOPLE AT THE TABLE. I was really mad and feel very frustrated now. Why is she behaving like that today?

I guess I have to pay more attention to her after this. What I worry is that she cannot hear what I am talking, or when someday, she may get Alzheimer's. Or even the normal old people syndrome like trying to get attention (which I admit, is lacking on my end) or kick up a fuss (actually I do this more often than her). Is my worry valid? Hmmm....

- - - - - - - - - - -

Worship Service. Last point based on 1 Thessolonians 1: 2-3. Hope. I think I have Faith, I have Love, but Hope... Before the service, I was telling God, please don't let me hear what I already know, give me something I need to hear. After hearing the pastor talked about 3 key points on Hope (I forgot the 3rd again), it dawned on me that I 1) do not have hope in God to live the future, 2) has lost my focus, 3) (to be filled in).

I will have to go and find it. Find my Hope.

I took a toilet break in between, and when I returned, I saw the pastor pulling up another co-pastor of his and told the congregation that, when he meet God, he is going to tell God that he is so very proud of this co-pastor and his work. It was a touching moment. It would be awesome to see it up in the heavens.

Then a familiar question came up within me. "Will somebody be proud to show me off in heaven? Or even on earth? Do I bring pride to the people I know of?"

Guess I'll not know, unless someone comes up to me and say that they are proud of me. Well, actually, there is. This Scottish lady in my cell group. She mentioned it a few times. That warmth my heart. But I am greedy. I hope to be the pride of more people.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Had a good time browsing through books at the China section of the Bookfest today. However, I've told myself to be focus. My main intention is to get books that are useful for my translation, not to spend money getting books that I will not read. It's hard, but I guess the perseverance paid off. Bought 4 books at $40 (CHENG YU, JING FAN YI dictionary, XIE HOU HU and DIAN GU). Felt very good. Walked over to the Watson's space and bought special priced cotton wool and a jewellery box, the kind I want, for $10. Pat myself on the back for patiences pays and head of to visit a friend who has given birth to a 3rd kid. Ceasarean actually. Chatted with her, her brother brought me to see the baby. Surprised we can talk alot even though we haven't seen each other for over 10 years. Didn't get to see the baby cos he was far off from the ward. Had to take my leave and left for the cell social gathering.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Took the wrong bus, from Thomson Medical Centre, instead of going to an aparment, I end up alighting at KK Hospital. Had to take a cab down. There was still food when I arrived (THANK GOD!) Couldn't quite fit into the adult talk, and left the table to join the kids in the room. Much better, one of my girls I used to teach last year told me enthusiatically about her brothers. The kids area is definitely where I can be me.

Time to go home. Friend saw my many plastic bags and took them from my hand as we bid goodbyes and head to his car, together with the Scottish lady. (His kind gesture inspired my writing on Help Her Carry Her Load tonight.)

Reached home, watch The Apprentice and wash up.

Type... type... type...

Sleepy and groggy. Time to turn in. *Poof!*

The Pianist And A Little Bit On Test-tube Babies

Okay, I am only going to write on this cos the other things that happened are not very vivid in my mind now... The movie just ended 15 mins ago.

What the German soldiers did to the Jews was really atrocities. I only began to have interest of the holocast when I did a poster on it during my NAFA days. It wasn't a really swee poster, to say the least. But the research I had to do to bring out the message draws me into the atrocities of the German oppressing the Jews.

Didn't catch the film when it was in the theatres here, cos this kinda show not alot of people I know like to watch, cos it's all moody and dark and too think-ish...

Anyway, Adrian Brody was really good in the show. His skinny skin and bones frame was more than convincing. And the part when he had to wander around on his own to look for food in the deserted buildings and ruins sends chills down my spine. I cannot imagine myself doing that, without water, without companions... But having said that. When you gotta do it, you gotta do it, right?

I had two prominient thoughts surfacing while watching the show:

1) Skills:
I've always thought my ability to design and knowledge of a little bit of computer to bluff my way through will be of no use when I am placed in a country to do relief work for a major disaster or what, where this kinda things are not needed. I always admire people who are doctors or nurses, because they can do something contributive to the 3rd world country should they be sent there. A designer can do nothing much, maybe at most at logistic and help teach the children to draw.

Then I realised I have a skill that I can used if I am sent to a 3rd world country. My language skills. The Pianist (can't remember his full name) have the skill of playing music, even though it wasn't as useful as the doctor's, he could use it to bring relief to the ears of those who were war-torn. Likewise, God has given me this unique ability to pick up languages. Be it Cantonese, Hokkien, Chinese, English or Malay. Now if I could also pick up French too... Hmmmm.....


2) Always be ready
Sounds like Total Defence hor? Haha... I remembered when I was younger (in general, from teens to the late 20s), my bag is always pack with ready to go stuffs: plasters, umbrella, panadols, antacids, sanitary napkins, sweets... Somehow I have this silly readiness to be the superwoman to provide these aids in times of needs, for myself or anyone. Hahahha.... really silly. I've grown out of the phase, though the umbrella habit has become a... Habit. :))

From the show, I learnt that the first thing to do if there is a war breakout, is to grab all your foods. Adrian Brody has a hard time getting them from the ruins cos they've all been wiped out. I don't want to walk along the ruins all by myself...

- - - - - - - - - - -

Movie aside, there's a report on the Chinese News that kinda send me a signal. The report says that as more women marry later, the age for women going for test-tube babies procedures has increased from 34 to 35 years old.

Then *DING!* I was reminded that I am 32 years old.

And then *DING!* I was reminded that I am still single.

And finally *DING! DING!* I realised that even if I am going to get married (if I do, which will probably be like when i am 36 - 40 years old...) I will need to spend 10,000 bucks per procedure if I wish to have my own kids. Gee...

Anybody know of any rich bachelor wanting to get hitched? Let me hear a loud *K-CHING!* (it's the sound of the cash-register) LOL...

( Note: That last sentence is strictly JUST KIDDING.:)

Finally, My First Exam

For the past week or so, my nights were spent trying to finish my translation and essay assignment for the first module. I did start on the translation one for one round earlier, but didn't really go into the editing part till last week. It's scary to think that I need more than a week to translate that paragraph of text... Where do I stand in the real world?

However, it really forced me to think about my sentence structures and stuffs, which I don't want to bore you about. Alot of this practice are very good as a last minute practice for me before the exam, at least I have an idea of how I should approach the technique. Given that there is no specific textbook to study on translation (you can count 2, if you consider the 2 gigantic dictionaries I have), I can only hinge on my recent practice in the hope that I will be able to do well.

Writing essay is easy, I am a very loh-soh blogger, as you can see. My only grouse is that my thoughts are all over the place and I want to talk about alot of things. However, I am only given a limited period of time to write. So thru the assignment, I've learnt to concentrate on one major topic and to organise my thoughts so that my essay makes sense. I think I will put my thoughts in point form before I write the essay, so I will reduce the number of cancellations and blanko-ing in my essay.

The exam will be written, and I have also done my assignments in written Chinese, it should be a good gauge for me to see whether I have overwritten in words or in context.

3 hours.

I didn't feel kan-cheong until now. Earlier, I had used the reason "nothing to study for" to tell myself there is no need to be kan-cheong. However, today I am feeling a little bit of nervousness creeping up...I hope I will not be luan in the exam.

Please God, help me to concentrate and to be focus later.

Amen.

Queer Behaviour, Even Queerer Antidote

Realised that I have the habit of talking to myself when I am in the shower room early in the morning. Really. I will look at the mirror and talk to myself about the things that I need to do, the things that I have done, the things in my mind. I also sing and hum.

I am reminded during my "stoned" days during my secondary 4 days. In the morning, I will wake up (we lived in a 2-room flat then, and the floor is my bed), seat up, and stared into space for about 10 - 15 mins before I get up to do the usual teeth brushing stuffs. Just doing nothing but staring into space from the room, with the light from the living room peering thru the makeshift curtain of the room. I don't know why I do that, but this habit went on for the entire year. It didn't help with my studies though. I flunked my 'O' levels. :P

- - - - - - - - - - - -

This morning, while doing errands for the office outside, I began to have this heaviness of the head again. It was very bad, and by the time I reach the office, I feel like puking. Asked WU HUA GUO from colleague and ate some... Felt slightly better. Then, we shared a can of coke. In less than an hour's time, the headiness is gone.

So remember, if you have got a hangover or have a heavy head, take WU HUA GUO with Coke.
* Note: This remedy is by personal prescription. You should consult your Family Doctor if condition worsens.

:)

水草三重唱之一的黄原成过世了!

Unbelieveable. Just like when Anita Mui died, it's also unbelieveable. Same with Leslie Cheong as well.

Well, these entertainers were a part of our mindless teenage and growing up years. We saw them on tv, heard them sing, some of them acted, and somehow they were in snippets of our earlier years of exploring life.

And now we are still exploring, they have went ahead of us.

Reminded of the song...

歌曲：来不及
歌手：陈珊妮 专辑：完美的呻吟

来不及送你一程
来不及问你什么算永恒
甚至来不及哭出声
来不及陪你一阵

来不及送你一程
来不及为你尽点责任
你的皮肤都穿松了
来不及为你抹点粉
da......

过期杂志上登着
太多早逝青春
路人的嘴里
全是对别人生命的揣测
我就是来不及说一声
我就是来不及送你
我爱你

我就是来不及送你
来不及为你唱首情歌
来不及为你变成好人
我就是来不及说一声
我爱你

Strange How Things Are Linked

This morning on the way to work...

I know this month alot of people are celebrating their birthdays. Total of 4 sisters from church and my nieces' one tomorrow.

And also HIS. Somehow today, he surfaced in my thoughts. And I told myself, hmmm... since this month is his birthday, and I still keep him on my Friendster, I guess as a gesture, I should send him a birthday message or something via Friendster, nearing to that day.

I am not hoping to get anything out of this intention (if there is ever going to be any response anyway). There is no denying that his profile is more outstanding among the friendster profiles, for obvious reasons. It just occured to me that I am no longer so hung on for an answer from him of why things happened the way it happened. Maybe half of me wants to let him know that I am still alive and well despite of what happened. A quarter of me hopes to let him know that a bit of him still resides in my memory and my heart. An eighth of the mind hopes he would response, so that at least we can be cordial as friends. The last bit...

I guess I want to let him know that I have forgiven him of what he has done to me. I have thought of putting that in my profile or shoutouts, but I think it's too fake-ish to do that. I mean, seriously, that will only that I want to tell the whole world that I am gracious to forgive. A bit 自大, right?

So then, I check my email when I reached the office. One of the Friendster birthday reminders was his. And I was like... HUH?!?! *imagine a system dyfunction alert sound effect*

Hmmm... Anyway, it's still sometime away. Will see how it goes.


On the way home from work...

Saw a girl wearing a skin colour off-shoulder blouse walking towards my direction. No, I don't know her. It's just that her dressing linked up thoughts... Can someone with dark skin like her wear that colour? How do you determine what colour would look good on you? And some other thoughts, shucks, I forgot again. I remember there were 3 main threads of thoughts.

Haiz... Getting forgetful.


Wu Meng Da
He is the side-kick of Stephen Chow in most of his shows. He was relating (in a repeated telecast) of how Chow Yuen Fatt refuses to lend him money to pay off his gambling debts, and that he is greatful to that. Because he realised that if he agree to lend him, there will be a growing dependency on Chow to feed his addiction.

Sitting down there, I thought... This is true. Whenever we are dwelling in addiction or something that is not good for us, the best thing the people around us could do to support us, is NOT to help us feed our addictions, and not to give us go-ahead signs by fulfilling our addictive needs. That way, we will be able to get out of the vicious cycle and leave the bad habit for good.

- - - - - - - - - - -

This week is 退隐江湖 season. This Saturday is Exam 1. I am not so scared of the exam, even though it's been a long time since I had one (Haha!). I am more worry about my homework. Each time I look at them, they always seem to be far from good, and there always seemed to be a better translation to a phrase that I cannot think of or find. Like that, how to pass-up?

Aiyah, dun care lah. Just do my very best and submit the rest to God. ;)

(Updated 8.3.06: The wedding I attended was the first of all weddings that played the songs "All By Myself" and "Torn Between Two Lovers" while serving the wedding dinner. I scringed whenever the songs get repeated.)

My friend grouses about the wedding couple was that the girl wasn't showing respect to the elders at the guys's house, and also to the mother of the guy who has passed away.

I can understand why. She comes from a closely-knitted family, and for her to abandoned the upbringing and not giving due respects to the senior family members is unacceptable.

As I hear her relate how the girl refuse to bow down to the altar of the mother of her husband, how she said she feel uncomfortable serving tea with the ancesters thingy, citing that she is a Christian (well, she did tell me that she is, but, maybe it's my fault, I probably should bring her to church...) How at one point the guy want to convert because of the girl and not because of faith...

I do not know what was the arrangement between the couple about how to go about doing the tea ceremony and stuffs... But it makes simple sense that such things should be discussed beforehand, and that she shouldn't use uncomfortable as an excuse to make the ceremony look as if Christians scoffed traditions and the seniors in our family.

We should never be the stumbling block to allow others to misunderstand what God has made us to be. Between seeking the understanding of our loved ones, and obeying God, as long what we do is not blatant pursue of other gods, we should always seek to maintain peace. (What I've learnt in Pastor Seah's exploration of the book of Corinthians.)

Anyway, I really can't say much, not being close to the couple. It's just one of those time that Christians caused the non-believers to cast more doubts to our faith and beliefs, and I can only see the incident objectively and give me my view.

Haiz... I'll do it as long as the need arise. I cannot agree to wrong-doings. However, I can offer my view from my Christian background and give the non-believers the insight of what I would see it, based on what I know God wants me to do.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Am listening to the sermon from FCBC. The third kind of love is the Love of God poured out in our hearts, from roman 5:5

Do we have it? If we have it, then we are able to give it away to those who have yet to have it. The Love of God is powerful. Much powerful than the love we ourselves have for others. It is strong enough to compel us to do things beyond our own ability.

Indeed, as I reflect, it is the motivator that enabled me to do alot of things that sometimes I know, I will never want to do. Such as difficult people to handle, difficult tasks to complete, difficult decisions to make... I know, alot of times, I would choose not to do it, I feel like abandoning the project. But the Love of God tells me to do it. Out of love for God, out of love for His people, His creation. And simply because He has given me his love in the first place, it is for me to give away, otherwise it will not be love.

Well, all these are affirmations of what I have been holding on to... What is God telling me? Hmm....

- - - - - - - - - - -

Kewl, P. got J. to deliver the Jurlique hand cream I ask them to help me buy in Australia as I walk home after the dinner. Got discount somemore.. Woohoo...

Fantastic!! Cheaper than Singapore, got discount... Bagus!! ;)

I Killed A Cockroach Tonight...

It was a flying cockroach. I didn't mean to.

I was happily browsing at other people's Friendster profiles when I felt something flew onto my head. Instinctly, I shook my head hard to shake it off. It flew off to somewhere I didn't know.

Then it came back. I couldn't care less until it was just plain irritating. Flying here and there. So I decided to Bygone it. It took about 5-6 sprays before it was intoxicated in the chemical.

I waited for it to breathe it's last while browsing at somemore profiles... Then I took the metal scissors-like prong from the kitchen to pick it up and dispose it.

Apologies for the details. It's been a long time since I killed a cockroach, normally I just "catch" them by covering them over a piece of old rag and dispose them. But this one was just plain irritating.

Well, at least I could pride myself for removing a potential germ carrier?!?

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While browsing the profiles, I was asking myself:

Wah, this one 25 years old already, married?! I am 32 now. Duhz.

The last login time of those people who are younger than me me (READ: Teenagers) was more than 3 weeks ago. It's kinda irony isn't it. They are suppose to be the kinda people who like this kinda stuffs... End up it's the older people who are logging in.. Haha... ;) Well actually, I got this conclusion only from one glance. May not be accurate.

Just now a friend came online on MSN and I asked her how was the her day at the wedded couple's (today's the day the guy go to pick the bride from the house). She said no good. Will let me know the details tomorrow, which is the wedding dinner.

Can't wait! ;)

Another Sunday Story

Turned in early last night, because the Bird Park adventure we went yesterday. I think because we didn't have enough water to drink, the 3 adults (Eldest sister, brother and I) was very dehydrated and tired when we reached home. It was scorching hot yesterday. Whereas for the two nieces, we gave them all the water and they still managed to stay quite energetic after the whole day.

The Bird Park has significantly lesser visitors because of the Bird Flu thingy going on. Which is good actually. We didn't have to scramble for seats on the panorail (little train that brings visitors over the park). We also get to get good seats at the Bird Show. It's amazing that there are so many different kinds of birds that God has created. One species can have so many pattern and sizes. Eldest sister commented how can the flamingoes thin legs hold their heavy bodies. I told her, that's the amazing thing about God's creation. :)

But the weather was really a killer. Please drink alot of water when you go to this kinda parks. Or bring alot of plain water. You will be thankful that you don't get a headache or get tired easily.

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Woke up at 9 plus today. Decided to wash the clothes I had soaked the day before, cos yesterday I was so tired, I couldn't do the laundry. It felt good that I did something useful. :)


Today's service at the other church talks about love. Ministry motivated by love. Not BGR lah, obviously. But Love for the people, Love for God, and love for our neighbours (I don't know if I got the last one right). Shucks.

I know that the first 2 are very real in my life during my ministry time in QBC. They are really the motivators that kept me in ministry for the past 12 plus years. The 3rd one was something I wanted to hear, and shucks oh shucks, I forgot what it is. I think I will go check out the sermons at the website to refresh.

I was yawning frequently during the service. Wonder what's wrong. I thought I have had enough sleep since i turned in early.

Anyhow, some thoughts I had today

1) I made sure I remember to bring my bible to the service. In my those previous services at QBC, I can literally forget to bring the bible. This shows how excited I am about sermons, or if you can relate, to church.

2) I think my time or, put in a very spiritually-acceptable word, my season with QBC is up. Why do I think that way? Because just as some people who step into the QBC and realise that the sermon is meant for them, I don't feel the same anymore. I am beginning to look for more. I have never ever wanted that before, and have always wonder why I never do that. Now I am experiencing it.

3) The variety of people, even during the youth service, is interesting. This is family. You can go into the church as you are and be accepted.

4) This is the 3rd month that I am playing "disappearing act" from QBC. I don't think alot of people, or particularly, my peers in the church really care.
Let me count who actually contacted me in between: 1 pastor arrange to meet up with me and another girl, another called to want to arrange with me to talk, but because too busy, we will postpone it till end of the month. One sister has gone out with me for movies after one service and some week nights. One younger brother and I can talk jokingly on MSN.

Then after service, I saw a missed call from PY. She asked if I am also planning to be a "runaway soldier" like the others. Hmmm... well, I think I am more of a wounded soldier, how to run? Anyway...

On one hand, I want to cross my arms and snickered at them, "Now you know what it's like that I am not around". On the other hand, I hope that they consider me as indispensable. I just want them to know what difference it made with or without me. The result of this experiement so far, is "interesting".

I am pretty sure I am moving on. Cos my "season" is up.

No wonder my mind's been ringing "Push the button". The song is used in the Miss Singapore Universe pagent(sp?!) promotional trailer. Aiyoh, I see the contestants ha... I wonder aloud if the mentality of beautiful girls in Singapore have change much. Cos when I look at the contestants faces in the trailer... I realised I "yucks!" very loudly.

*Note to friends of contestants who are participating in the contest: I admit I am being very judgemental in my comment above. If you need to trash me, pls do so.*

I think all the really beautiful girls in Singapore are out there somewhere busy making money or carving out their careers. I think they prefer these kinda challenges than to strut down aisle to be judged by the unkind Singaporean audience, such as me.

Anyway, for the song I will still continue to listen to it. It's very catchy. :)

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Caught a late night movie on Channel 5 just now, "The Vanishing". Wah, really psychotic thriller. Jeff Bridges is this decent looking man pouncing on innocent people to test out his experiment on human choices, whether they turn better or worse after certain life choices, something like that.

Scary. One of the final scenes was when Kiefer Sutherland found himself buried in a wooden box, after being challenged by Jeff Bridges to drink the drugged coffee, in order to experience what his missing girlfriend experienced when she went disappeared 3 years ago.

Being confined in the box, lying down, there is nothing he can do. The only thing he could do, was to light up the lighter given to him by the girlfriend (Sandra Bullock).

It stirred up this claustrophobia in me. DOes feel kinda scary being in a "coffin" when your time is not up yet. Eeee.... Yucks...

Brrrrgghhh...

Anyhow, I thought it was an interesting show to watch, even though there weren't any trailers beforehand to inform about the show. Quite an arresting plot. And Jeff Bridges does his job very well. Haunting role.

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Hmm... Realised there's lesser juicy stories for me to write now that I am over my down period. My blog now consistly mostly of me, mine and I. Well, it has always been like that anyway... What am I talking about?

Oh well.

At least I can be thankful that the dark days are over.

Currently Playing...

Tonight my Winamp is repeating:

Push the Button - from Taller in More Ways, by Sugababes


I have been swaying to the music of:

Super Duper Love - from The Soul Sessions, by Joss Stone

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No, I have not fallen in love. I just love the light-hearted rhythm of these songs.

My "dwell in as much sorrowful songs as much as it can drown me" period is OFFICIALLY over. Thank God for music!

Hooray!! :)

I have also decided I shall go get my own receipe book. The other person was suppose to get it with me back then. Oh well, I don't have to wait for another person to come along before I go get a receipe book right? :) I want to start with pasta...

Hope that when I look back at this post, I would have cooked like.. at least.. 1 pot of pasta?

*chuckles*

Wednesday Wonderous

Briefly watched one episode of "A Light Moment" on tv last night.

Wah kaoz. Why Singaporean men like that? Except for Tommy Wee of course. He's kinda cute. :)

I admit I am very biased because I did not see the girls segment, so my comment is very lop-sided. However, the guys segment was really bleahz. I shook my head. Read what I saw.

Last night had dinner with a friend who is gonna give birth to her 3rd baby. Had a wonderous time chatting and catching up. Indeed so much has happened since we last did our catchup. Just glad that she is doing ok, having a loving husband and 2 kids before and now a 3rd one.

Just happy for her :)