Negativity Has Made A Nest
Finally. Unexpectedly.
I never know I will come to this stage. I always thought that I will stay joyful forever and ever, regardless whether I am with others or when I'm alone. Apparently no.
I thought I have great amount of positive energy to strengthen others. But now I am in need of positive energy myself.
I am truly living what is known as... Hopelessness.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm sure you are not surprised that "The Hours" is one of my favourite movie, given the tone of my writing.
Why, I was already feeling melacholic at the start of the movie. Realised that no matter how many smiles I show, no matter how many jokes I tell, I am a pessimist at heart.
Ed Harris' character etched a sentence in my mind. "I stay alive to satisfy you." He said this to Meryl Streep's character, who somehow is very busy and always pre-occupied with things and taking care of business. Put both toqether and you know the woman is feeling empty and insecure, and losing her self-worth. Losing control.
Like the parts about Virginia Wolf played by Nicole Kidman. The way she wonders about life... Something I do alot.
Then there is the part about writers writing about life. Everything... The smell. the sights, the touch... Every detail. Sometimes it's difficult to be understood by others, but it's the expression of the writer's memory.
Virginia Wolf left a memorable line in my mind too. She wanted to be released from her own entrapment and had a confrontation of some sort with the husband Leonard.
"I live in a life that I do not wish to live in."
Is that what I am feeling now?
Also, there is this part about why Viriginia Wolf wrote that somebody has to die in her book. The husband asked why, she replied that someone has to die so that there is a contrast, so that people around the dead character will value life.
That's similar to what I had compared the previous time when I decided to leave QBC. I had to go so that people start to value what is there.
I am the contrast.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Last look at the Singapore River. Took this picture when the movers cleared out the remaining furnitures from our (now old) office at Singapore Land Tower on Thursday. Byebye 26th floor.
I never know I will come to this stage. I always thought that I will stay joyful forever and ever, regardless whether I am with others or when I'm alone. Apparently no.
I thought I have great amount of positive energy to strengthen others. But now I am in need of positive energy myself.
I am truly living what is known as... Hopelessness.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm sure you are not surprised that "The Hours" is one of my favourite movie, given the tone of my writing.
Why, I was already feeling melacholic at the start of the movie. Realised that no matter how many smiles I show, no matter how many jokes I tell, I am a pessimist at heart.
Ed Harris' character etched a sentence in my mind. "I stay alive to satisfy you." He said this to Meryl Streep's character, who somehow is very busy and always pre-occupied with things and taking care of business. Put both toqether and you know the woman is feeling empty and insecure, and losing her self-worth. Losing control.
Like the parts about Virginia Wolf played by Nicole Kidman. The way she wonders about life... Something I do alot.
Then there is the part about writers writing about life. Everything... The smell. the sights, the touch... Every detail. Sometimes it's difficult to be understood by others, but it's the expression of the writer's memory.
Virginia Wolf left a memorable line in my mind too. She wanted to be released from her own entrapment and had a confrontation of some sort with the husband Leonard.
"I live in a life that I do not wish to live in."
Is that what I am feeling now?
Also, there is this part about why Viriginia Wolf wrote that somebody has to die in her book. The husband asked why, she replied that someone has to die so that there is a contrast, so that people around the dead character will value life.
That's similar to what I had compared the previous time when I decided to leave QBC. I had to go so that people start to value what is there.
I am the contrast.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Last look at the Singapore River. Took this picture when the movers cleared out the remaining furnitures from our (now old) office at Singapore Land Tower on Thursday. Byebye 26th floor.
We had our dinner at the food court. This was one of the fool-around Motorola shots taken when we had nothing to do.
Proof of fooling around...
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