In Desperation...

... don't do (in my opinion) stupid things.

Seriously.

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Sometime back, I +wrote about a secondary school friend who went into internet marketing+. I was checking my yahoo email today and saw that email she sent some months back. We never see her on email again. Trying to jog my memory (for what reason, I don't know), I clicked on the link.

There she goes, with all her "you know... you know..." and speaking with an accent (as if she is imitating some "ang moh" speaker). I tried to make out of the message that she was trying to convey. I still don't get it.

I tried to delete the extra string of text on the web address and wanted to see if I can get any updates from the URL. Nope. No updates other than the same entry with the video. So I browsed the index page, trying to find some clue to this internet marketing that she was talking about. Ahh... Spotted a prominent (rather, suspicious looking) name and yahoo-ed it (after so many years working with the internet, somehow, I've became very inept to search for things like that. Call me busybody).

Ah-ha! Clicked to this website... and Voila! Just as I suspected. The internet marketing "base" uses the similar operation methods as the one that my ex-colleague tried to sell me +couple of months ago+. Extracts from the "base"...

And XX also revealed that to become an expert,all you have to do is to read 5 books...

So nowadays they go by the education route... Buy the books, gain the knowledge, attend (many) talks /workshops (paid from your own pocket, the more the merrier) and make money!

Somewhere along the line, the website kept urging the readers (their team members) to get more tickets for workshops and talks, because they should not miss the special-invite opportunity, because they are running out of tickets! That they will have a headstart...

Yadda, yadda, yadda...

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Many of us are very eager to get out of our current situation. They are genuine needs, not some fluffy, flimsy fantasy that we made up. So, if there is an easy way out, most of the time, we will grab that, cross our fingers and hope for the best. And it's really, really easy to pick the simple way out.

But as I was saying... In desperation... Make wise choices.

Disclaimer:
I know it's easy for me to say all these things. The hard problems in reality cannot be knocked away with just some inspirational liners. Yours and mine. But please, please, please. Make wise decisions. It's not just your decision/choice/life. It also affects the others too.

No Church Today!

Instead, we were at Clementi doing a community event for the residents there.

My throat is now sore because of the numerous instructions I've repeated from 11am - 3pm. I was in charge of a children's game booth "Test your memory", and was the person in charge of giving instructions to the children who came to my booth. They are to memorise the order of colour cards and recite them when the cards are covered.

It's good to see that a lot of the children of the residents came to participate. There were good reports of the participation of the residents. And of course, the most rewarding thing for me is to see the banners that I have designed for the social services arm of the church being hang out in the public. Also to hear a team-worker commented that I have a lot of patience, repeating the instructions to every child when they came by :D

Came home with tired feet and tried to sleep; Can't do so because the mind's not ready to do so. I think everyone who were actively involved are tired. But it was a good thing to see the entire church out there doing a community service. Everyone did their part in participation, irregardless of our skin colour.

Phew! I need rest!

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Yesterday I took my nieces to the drawing competition for Children's Day. Before we left the house, I took them and their mom, my sister, into the room to pray. They have had nightmares and my sister kept waking up in the middle of the night. I was glad to hear that the elder niece told me after we prayed, the monsters in her mind disappeared. Praise God! I've also told them that they should always believe the greatest name, Jesus, is bigger than any monsters, and they should always call on His name if they feel sad or fearful.

Both of them are understands the concept of drawing better this time round, though they still need some more practice. After that, we went to the nearby mall to have ice-cream, waffles and buffalo wings (they didn't like it). Then we head home.

When we got home, my sister told me that she was wondering if she was "punished" for the money she has withheld from the previous maid who returned to Indonesia and did not returned. I've told her that it is not her fault that she has to withheld it, because the maid chose not to come back. So you can tell my sister is still blaming herself for what had happened.

Fortunately, she had asked to listen to worship songs, and I've ripped a sermon for her to listen. She also requested to bring the Chinese Good News Bible home. I pray God will make Himself real to her, and give her the faith and boldness to dispel the irrational thoughts that are threatening to cause her a mental breakdown.

God, you are powerful and you are great. You will work through the lives of this family and make it yours. You will protect them from all evil, harms and dangers. I claim your ownership of this family today. Father, if there were any charms or spells spoken over this family, I pray in the name of Jesus that you will expel these things and destroy them. In the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

Single Out

I couldn't decide "Single Out" or "Alone in the Crowd" for tonight's entry. I like the former; it kinda brought out the state that I was in tonight.

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I was feeling awfully lousy today. Just restless. And I guess the amount of work I need to handle today was a little beyond what I normally have. I am not complaining. In moments such as this, I am thankful that I am busy. It trains my mind to manage stuffs, to stay sane with 101 things going on at the same time.

But it also add on to the already moody bit of me. My period is over, but I am still nursing the leftovers of what went in and out of my life the past week or so. I can't point out specifically what made me felt lousy amongst other days; I just felt awfully down.

At lunchtime, I walked to Raffles Place. Thought I could use some get away from the office; somehow I felt I was stuck and need to be out. Stopped by the Singapore River for a while. I had to, I need to be away from people for a while and gain some space. And a time to converse with God. Was a little better after that.

But the lousiness came back again later in the afternoon. Sms-ed a friend to ask if she was free to join me for a movie, she replied that she has a sponsors event. I texted back Ok. Asked another over the MSN if she could care to join me for a movie, she apologised, saying that she is having a candle light dinner with her husband; it's her birthday today. I messaged back "Right. How could I have forgotten about that?"

No rewards guessing how great I felt after those two messages. I wanted to retreat back to my shell, thinking of returning home since the world seemed to be full of people who are so busy with their lives. The other side of me said, "Why not go for the movie on your own? Go give yourself some time on your own."

The choice of venue was difficult. I didn't want to hang out where there are too many happy, shiny people. I didn't want to close to home either, even though a theatre was nearby. Marina Square came to mind. That's right. Perfect!

The journey from the office to the ticket office was a relatively liberating experience on it's own. With Joss Stone having a party in my Ipod, my steps were light. I didn't have to hurry to meet someone. Or be early so that I could wait for the latecomer. I was having full control of my time.

It's been a while since I step into a cinema (ok, maybe my a while it's uncomparable to some of you). I haven't been up to date on the new movies in town since that rat animation film. +The Nanny Diaries+ seemed like a good movie to catch to chase the blues away. I like Scarlett Johansson, and it has an interesting storyline. I proceeded to book an aisle seat (easy escape in the crowd, I can slip in when the commercials are going on...) for the next show.

A CD shop was nearby, so I popped in and see what can I pick up today to pick my spirits up. I was browsing and saw a Snoopy 50th Anniversary CD. Promptly paid for it and headed to my next activity: A place to rest my legs and have a quiet drink.

The food court was relatively low human traffic and I had my dinner there. In between then and the movie, I had a chance to read 2 chapters of a book I borrowed from the library. My mind start to relax and I was feeling better. I guess I really need this time alone by myself.

The movie is a typical chick flick, but with Scarlett in there, it seem less "chick". It basically chronicled the life of a college graduate who wanted to head a career direction that wasn't her mom's ideal choice. While waiting for her big break, she somehow ended working as a nanny for a upper-crust family in New York. In her job, she met a hot bod (awfully cute young man, just found out he's the Human Torch in Fantastic Four :d), saw the realities of "These people have everything! Why are they so miserable?", and endured being at the beck and call of the lady of the house, 24/7. And found her freedom. Which incidentally was the theme song of our protagonist as she and another unsuspected character, found freedom at different stages.

Typical story. However, the opening of the movie is pretty interesting. The producer/director (whoever who did it) used wax statues to reflect the lives of New Yorkers, pretending that they were exhibits with labels and descriptions on them. In one part, Scarlett's character was being interviewed by a bank officer "So who is Annie Braddock?" She panicked at the question and ran away, questioning herself who is her. She then ran to the streets trying to find that question. While doing that, she tried to see if the wax museums New York identities she saw on the street were her answers.

Through her life as a nanny, Annie made some discovery "My desire to be an observer of life was actually keeping me from having one." being one of them. And quite a few interesting memorable quotes that were linked to her aspiration to be an anthropologist.

Well, you guys probably know my kinda movie now, so it isn't too difficult to figure the ending of the movie.

I took the bus home after the show, feeling much better.

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It's probably because it's the end of the year. Recently, the feelings that I thought were not affecting me are making their waves on me again.

Or maybe it was Sumiko Tan's article some weeks ago about the the fact that no matter how much we live our single lives to the fullest, it's still better to have a companion to share stories of excitement with.

This week, I found out that there is simply no chance of me meeting new guys anymore. I am getting older, and I have exhausted my chances of meeting anyone.

Surely I cannot expect my friends to respond to my call to expel loneliness at a SMS or a MSN message.

I've got to get used to doing things alone now. Or fill my life with superficial activities and projects so that I don't have to face loneliness by myself. Or at least keep them at bay in the meantime.

SINGLEHOOD. I LOATHE YOU.

Spaced Out

Or stoned.

Either way, I am feeling really drained and what-am-going-to-do-now-that-the-business-is-temporarily-over? You know, the aftermath of a very busy period usually leaves u. It's like you were driving full-speed and then u pulled a halt.

'Cept if you are driving, when you stop the car, you stepped out to rest and stretch yourself.

The aftermath of a busy period for me usually is I am somehow left "high and dry". I would then feel a sense of "lost" somewhat.

Last week was a huge, huge roller coaster ride. Aside from the job interview, the design job, the party, the suicide, I also left my phone in a cab (fortunately the driver drove by my place and returned me).

This week there's a little emotional element because of the suicide incident. We were worried that my sister and her girls would be disturbed by what had happened. The girls were fine, but my sister is a little affected by what happened, sometimes blaming herself for not being there to prevent the incident from happening.

Even though she said the police has given her a bunch of nos to call for counselling and she herself promised me that she would call (them or me) if she needs any help, I am still worried for them. Being in an Asian country, and what more, a very Chinese family, she does not get the support that she deserve at home.

I can't disconnect from this, like what I've written in the previous post. Hence, a part of the emotional thingy took its toil on me. But I think mine is not as much as my sister's.

That's why we pray.

Meantime, let me end this messy post.

Time for bed.

As If It's Not Enough

This morning my colleague told me that two of our colleagues have had salary increment.

Out of the blue, no announcement. Nothing.

I remember when I personally spoke to the bosses this March about the increment, they said if they want to do it, they will do it across the board.

Some kind of "across the board". It was under the table; in fact the two guys knew about it even before today.

The bosses has forgotten the people who helped them get things done till 10pm at night before a major event the next day. They have clearly forgotten the people who put together production work so that they can save a significant amount of money from outsourcing.

They only see the creative department as the money-making department. Not the rest, even though the same, even much is expected from us.

As if it's not enough.

What A Weekend

I have managed to clear the 2nd project, that is, the written application for job interview I had last Wednesday.

I had read a self-branding book, scribbled how I want to "sell" my self to the company and etc etc. Did a draft yesterday afternoon and took dinner. When I return to edit, I found myself completely lost. I didn't know why, but somehow the more I edit the text, the more mess I made. I nearly want to tear my hair off. Finally managed to "finish" the letter at about 2 am this morning. Needless to say, it wasn't the best that I could offer :( I can only hope for the best.

Before I wrote the draft, I watched a movie that came from Videoezy. +"Hanging Up"+ was a movie made in 2000; the story is about a family of 3 sisters and their father who has Parkinsons disease. Initially, I had thought it's another chick flick with lots of comedy element. But as I watch the story unfold, it turned out to be a drama illustrating the relationships between sisters and the people near them. Meg Ryan, Diane Keaton and Liza Kudrow are the three sisters who took on different career paths. Meg Ryan was the one whom the father calls frequently on many occasions, while the other two were busying establishing their careers.

Sometimes I felt like Meg's character. The sibling that every family has who ends up doing the caregiving to the parents. Everyone wants a bit of me; it can get pretty crazy sometimes. I've learnt to disconnect in the recent years, but it is more easier said than done.

We just have to learn to let go sometimes.

Like when I heard that my sister's maid committed suicide yesterday morning, I wanted to go down to their flat to see how I can help. But at the wise advise of my mother, I held back. They should be able to handle this situation on their own, with their in-laws with them and all. I will offer any support if they need.

We just have to learn to let go sometimes. And pray.

One Down... Two More To Go...

Thanks for the prayers (for those who did :).

The Mid-Autumn Party just ended couple of hours ago. It was good, we made new friends and got together with the old. We guessed "lantern riddles" and ate mooncakes. I got good reviews for the food that I have catered (cos I didn't cook all of them... okay, maybe the cocktail hotdogs with fruits...) Lots of laughter... Sparklers, lanterns...

Phew! I have stronger arms now! All the food marketing I did this morning (3 trips to the wet market, the supermarket, and the fruit stall) are giving my biceps the aches... I believe they are just signs to tell me that muscles are being developed... Heh...

Thank God even though everything was planned and held within a week, He saw us through the preparation work. Praise God for helpful sisters and brothers and friends who helped in one way or another.

Phew!

Now, I have two more major projects to see through by this week.

God, please help me to get by with YOUR strength. Amen!

Picture of lantern from inmagine.com

I Was So Tired

I am sorry that the previous post contained a lot of mis-spelled words and wrong use of verbs.

I was so tired.

I'll do better soon.

A Rusty SIngaporean Excuse

I've been busy.

It's been like that for me for the past couple of weeks; the busyness has been pretty mind-boggling. And mind you, these stuffs that have been keeping me busy are over and above my usual job.

In fact, in this week alone, I have to design a banner for a half-way house, plan a mid-autumn party, ate lotsa different kind of cuisins, sent out job applications and responded to a job interview.

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Yep, yours truly has managed to secure a job interview. It had happened today, by the way. The manager of the office emailed me yesterday morning, and I didn't get to see the email till late afternoon at around 5. I grabbed my phone and settled for an appointment this morning at 9.15am.

Everything happened so quickly.

Oh yes, lesson to learn: Remember to leave your contact number in your resume. I didn't check mine (an edited to death version) and send it to the company. Fortunately, they were kind enough to consider me and emailed me to ask for the number, even though I made that blooper.

It's my first interview in years. The jitters did occur, but fortunately at a very kind advice of a very kind friend, the research I did on the company and revisions on the do's and dont's during interview - AFTER I attended a sumptuous dinner gathering yesterday - helped alot. I declared that I was ready at 2am.

This morning, everything was done early: woke up early, took the shower early, did my make up early (go easy on that!), took the early bus (alighted at a bus-stop later), walked to the location, still early, hang around the vicinity, show up at the office.

I prayed an awful lot while waiting for the MD to come in to talk with me, and had psyched myself that I will just talk as if I am meeting a client for the first time; I know talking in that manner is one of my best talents. "Joyce, you'd be fine. Just be comfortable with yourself, and words will flow. God, please help me to speak with wisdom."

Without revealing too much details, I have a feeling that I am close to being selected :D The translation certification was the shiny button that got the MD interested :D On top of that, some stuffs I've googled/metacrawled/hotboted about the company surprised him; he thought there isn't much information one can get from the website that is under construction.

I thought the sharing he did about the company excites me. Or so it seems. It is very close to what I want to do.

But it wasn't a perfect interview. I wasn't able to get into my head the company's focus, and kept harping on the things that are carved in my head . MD was kind not to cut me out, but reiteriated his company focus to me over and over again. My opening speech was terrible, when he asked me to tell him about myself. I went way off with the things that are carved in my head again.

I was given a task to do before I left the office. Initially, I thought it was simply an unusual request, and was also glad that I am expected to keep in contact with the MD. Later on while I was relating this to a friend, it became clear that it was a test. An assessment of me to see if I am what he sees I am and who I can be. It is a good assignment to do.

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In any case. Thank God. Phew, it came and gone.

Meanwhile the busyness will continue.

Today, the words that were released in service spoke to me.

The speaker who was to preach spoke that God wants us (me) to not look back, but go forward. That we should travel light on a journey with Him, and leave behind our burdens of the past.

Another person spoke and said God want us to trust Him to move on, and sensed that someone is in a situation similar to the Israelites caught between the red sea and Pharoah's army. When God asked Moses,

"Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on. Raise your staff and stretch out your hand over the sea to divide the water so that the Israelites can go through the sea on dry ground.... (Exodus 14: 15-16)

That instant, you know that God knows your present situation.

That instant, you know that He has great plans for you.

That instant, you know that He loves you.

It was enough, and before I knew it, I tasted saltwater over my lips.

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We are given a fresh page to transform something in our lives everyday, do you realise that? Most of the time, we are so focused on our "another day, another paycheck" mentality, that we failed to realise that each day is a new beginning.

Do something you did not do in the past, right the wrongs, make-up to someone, smile more, be more patient, be bolder...

It's an opportunity that is given equally to everyone. Let's make the best of our portion of it.

Phew.

A friend gave birth to a baby girl today. Didn't know the significance of the birthday when she mentioned it on the SMS till now.

I guess we could see it as a celebratory of life :)

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Finally finished the 5 page English -> Chinese translation for a beauty product brand.

Thank God.


baby image from inmagine.com

Food Post - Forgot To Mention... And I Had To

I went to Imperial Treasure Restaurant at Suntec City last Thursday, before Hairspray. We thought we could give it a go cos the Crystal Jade one that we want to go has a long queue.

It provided the worse service one can get from a Singaporean Chinese Restaurant. I had such a bad experience, I would only give it a * for the Xiaolong Bao we had, which is relatively good.

Other than that,

P's Zha Jiang Noodle didn't arrive, even after I've finished my plain noodles in soup with Stir-fried Beef,

Which didn't taste as good compared to Crystal Jade anywhere,

When we told the service staff that the Li Bai Drunken Chicken has a very strong chinese wine taste, she asked, "It is suppose to be a drunken chicken, it is suppose to have a wine taste. It's different because it uses wine from China."

Like duh. We requested if we could change the chicken for one with lesser wine taste, she replied "So you want plain chicken, or chicken with wine? You can only have either of these." We decided to go with the plain one, and when it came, we realised that the chicken was already marinated with wine prior to being served. So that's what they called "plain chicken"? What's more infuriating is that unlike other restaurants, the service staff NEVER offer to reduce the amount of wine, and simply brushed off our comments.

Maybe we don't speak Japanese, like the family sitting next to us.

We asked for the bill after we cancelled the order of the Zha Jiang Mian, since it didn't come. Waited for 10 mins for the bill to come, and the Mian was not cancelled from the bill. The staff said she would change the bill. Another 10 mins went by, and we had to signal a senior aunty-looking staff, who came back with the same erronoeus bill. It was promptly corrected. We left 5 mins later.

It was a lousy dinner experience, and fortunately, we got over it with popcorns from the movie theatre.

So if you want to have a go at Imperiod Treasure Restaurant (at Suntec), try at your own risk.

A Little Update

Really. I don't have much to write.

The past week has gone by in a flash and before I know it, tomorrow is the end of another work week.

So, anyway, these are what I've done for the past week or so.

Tues (Aug 28th) - Was given a beauty product description document for translation (English to Chinese). I said I would try to do a bit.

Wed (Aug 29th) - I can't remember.

Thur (Aug 30th) - Send out a page of the product description for checking. Went to watch Hairspray. Love it. Every time they are done singing, I almost felt like standing up and applaud.

Fri (Aug 31st) - Packed my stuffs for Kukup trip the next day.

Sat - Sun (1st Sep - 2nd Sep) - Was out with church friends on a short trip to Kukup. The company was good and it was nice to be out of Singapore for a while to relax. Came back with a bruised left bum (I fell while running out to the balcony to watch the neighbours play with fireworks, but thank God I wasn't seriously hurt) and a stiff shoulder (must be the breaking point of a long-term problem).
Went for a traditional javanese full-body massage the same night. Enjoyed it, though it didn't really fix the stiff shoulders (it's a long-term problem).

Mon (3rd Sep) - Watched Ratatouille with my nieces. Of course. I almost never miss any new movies :D It's nice, I like the animation done.

Tue - Thur (4th - 6th Sep) - Went home after work. With an exception of doing a financial translation favour (I requested for it) till early morning on Tuesday and sleeping for 12 hours from Wednesday evening.

Oh, I had the excitement of a job placement agency requesting for my resume and calling me yesterday to understand my resume better. It did brought home the fact that I am not quite qualified for the jobs that I am aiming for, but nonetheless, they will forward my resume to their client.

And now we wait.

Phew. Now I can go back to my translation work.

The S$ Comparison

With S$67, I can get a 2 day 1 night trip to Kukup, Johor Bahru, Malaysia (including transport, meals, accomadation and snacks). Throw in bonding, doses of laughter, and meeting new friends, AND not forgetting gossips :)

S$75, I can get a full body Traditional Javanese massage that I sorely needed as a result of long period of computer usage.

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Sometimes, the value of money and how we spend it just blows our mind.