Responsibilities

I am feeling the big 'R' weighing on me recently. Especially on the family front.

With the second sister off to Germany with the husband for about a year plus, the 'R' falls on me to take care of not just the elderly, but also the eldest sister's family too.

For the parents, because I am now the eldest in the family, many decision-making (najor or as trivia) will come to me first (from the mother, because the father does zero decision making and only talks to me when he wants money from me).

The sister's unit are of the tier of the Singapore population who received only lower secondary and primary education. Run that data in your mind a bit, and you will know that surviving with that kind of education background in Singapore context is an uphill task. Add to the fact that because of a certain physical condition of my brother-in-law, he is not fully capable of providing for their family (which includes his parents and their two daughters).

With that, I was somewhat handed the task to take care of the sister and her daughters. For the girls, their education (tutoring) and character building, and to the sister, attention.

I am the only person in the home who:
1) Reads, writes, speaks English
2) Teaches
3) Listening ear
4) Provides affirmation

I know I should be thankful that I am able to provide these to others, but it's getting tiring.

They have tried to return me the favour, but it's different. They have shown care and concern, but it's not the gratification that I am looking for. It's just different.

I am just tired. I am really tired. And this situation doesn't seem that it is going to change anytime.

Sigh.