I Like Them Bald

No... Not those bald and old chee-koh-pek, or the ones donning orange robes.

Yes, I think you are probably right that my work has driven me crazy.

It's a good excuse to write something on here. I was at the train station this evening, and a tall, bald man walked passed me. And it suddenly dawned on me that I am beginning to like guys bald :) Rather, I like bald guys.

They are especially attractive if they are tall, lean (lanky) and accessorised with a slightly unshaven face. Well, at least to me. That is translated as macho. Or manliness. Why bald men?

1) Hair is one body item a guy can use to look good. They style their hair as much as they can to stand out from others. Hair is literally crowning glory. However, someone who is bold enough to shave all that off makes a statement "I don't need hair to boost my confidence". That is pretty alluring :)

2) Truth is, unkempt guys look really attractive, to me. I get a little too uncomfortable with guys who are too much of a SNAG physically. There's always a chance that he will look more attractive than me.

3) Because their heads are shave bald, the full features of the man is fully exposed. Which also means that you can see all his expressions immediately. I noticed a lot of times, bald guys are really cool about whatever that happens around them. They are hardly disturbed by a noisy kid, pushy commuters, or a companion who talks too much.

That is attractive.

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So yep. This is the statement that I want to make publicly. Will God send me a bald man this year? Haha.

Have or don't have, doesn't matter anymore. Hopes have sunken into the cold ground.

I still have my work to keep me company for the new year.

Happy New Year.

It's Been More Than Two Weeks

Sorry for the no entries lately.

Totally swamped by work. And when I reach home, there are still work waiting to be completed.

But I managed to watch Warlords, Alvin and The Chipmunks and National Treasure in between. Heh!

Even when I am typing this, I am feeling sleepy.

But I will be doing decoration for a Christmas party at a halfway house later on, so I can't sleep.

I've never been this tired before in my entire 17 years of working life. And before I know it has taken place, it's Christmas already!

There's something about this Christmas that I like. That is I have no time to worry whether I get invited to parties, or are remembered in people's minds by presents or Christmas Cards. Which means I have no time to be reminded that I am a single person.

How about Christmas Day? Well, it's play with nieces day, work, and rest (if I get to rest). The thing worth rejoicing about holidays for menow is that I get to rest. But more often than not, I can't rest. So I look forward to the next holiday, or the next weekend.

It's different. Somewhat non-traditional. But hey, it's something different! I am quite bored with conventional get-togethers with friends. Where everyone knows we get together, just because. It's not the nice "just because", but it's just because someone wants to organise an event.

You get my drift.

So anyway, dear readers. Have a blessed Christmas, and may you find new hopes in the New Year. Merry Christmas! :)

Just Follow Lor?!

Within a week, I get reports of troubled leadership.

As earlier mentioned, a peer in the current agency did not give her subordinates a good role model. Allowing her personal problems to get into her work (and constantly citing that as a reason for her instability) was beginning to wear down her staff. Two of them sent in their resignation this week.

An ex-colleague reported to that the bosses in the ex-co ordered one-for-one pizza only for their meeting, and did not bother to check if the rest of them would like pizza too. And the gesture of ordering pizza only because a freelancer always brings food over to the office when they meet. The freelancer brings food for everyone in the office. The bosses never offer to give the staff treats, not even snacks, and only does it when they have complimentary vouchers.

The second sister came over and complained to me about the leadership in church. She is serving in the same ministry that I was in, and beginning to experience the results of erractic behaviour from the leader. I heard that a very reliable and trustworthy co-leader (whom I have serve together in the ministry for a number of years) has decided to step down from the ministry as a result.

On one hand, the pharisee in me emerge "God, thank you I am not like them." On the other hand, my heart goes to those who work under difficult leadership. I have been a victim of bad leaderships, and I can understand that the agony that the subordinates have to go through under inappropriate leadership.

It is always so unfair. Why are leaders only concern about themselves and not for those who work with them? I know this question is an answer by itself, and I know what your answers are. But it's just so... illogical.

So, I am really treading on a fine line with the leadership bestowed upon me. FYI, I am now in the "I have all the power now but I am not comfortable releasing my control of my power just yet" stage. I know I will have to release them eventually, because there is only one Joyce, but there are so many work to be done.

I really want to entrust the work to someone else; hoarding them will not do any good to me or the other party. It's just that I am not so sure if this person have the calibre to follow through, and what I have built up will be flushed off.

Still, I have to release them somehow, somewhat. I hope I could do it soon before I am drowned in my own power.

Blop Blop Blop...

The holiday movie offerings this year look really uninteresting.

So I queued the movies of last year to whet my appetite for the season. "The Holiday" came in the mail yesterday, and I had just finished watching it.

I had watched it +last year+ at the cinema. Didn't enjoy it in its entirety because of the chatty couple sitting next to me. This time round, I totally enjoyed it.

It's basically a story for the rest of us. As with any holiday movie, the show ended on a everybody-lived-happily-ever-after note. I wouldn't imagine having that same kind of ending in my life, but I do like the way the movie portrays the typical scenarios in relationships. Not just relationship between a man and a woman, but also the friendship that Kate Winslet shared with her neighbour in L.A., and how the relationship grew to become on that inspires the both of them in different ways.

Yeah, it's a feel good movie to get me going for the holiday season.

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I am not thinking much about it (holiday season) seriously, because there's still a lot to do at work, and many things are still unsettled. One of the challenges is having to handle a staff who is too used to run her own show (she was a freelancer before joining the company).

I want to keep her, yet, as the Boss said, she is very raw in her work, and it is a challenge to guide her. Things couldn't be better when the Boss added that he may let her go if he sees that she is incompetent, as he understands that I need someone who is more cooperative (yeah, he does know that I need a good helper if he wants his business to flourish).

AND to top off the icing, there are obvious signs that the Boss is giving preferential treatment to me, which can make things difficult if she does not understand that I have more responsibility than her.

I do pray that I would be able to handle this matter sensitively and delicately. Frankly speaking, I would rallied for her to stay, because, afterall, she has been with the company long enough to know our style. That itself is a plus point.

However, like I wrote in my email to her (yes it was to her), that I have given her the materials and tools to make her boat. It is entirely up to her whether it will sink or float. The final decision would be the Boss'.

Another staff will be coming in tomorrow, and another the following week. THANK GOD that the Boss is coming back from his trip next week. I'd be flustered to have to handle everything all on my own.

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It has been a mind-boggling flurry of events after my honey-moon week.

I've asked God for this kind of responsibility in ny new career, and He has granted me my desire. I want to do this, and do this good. I basically have nothing, and I need Him to send me something. And that requires much clinging on Him for strength and wisdom. This process has taught me to rely on Him, to call on Him, to be dependent on Him, no matter what.

All this has given me the opportunity to experience the joy and peace of knowing that He holds my EVERYTHING in His hand.

I couldn't be anymore ecstatic than this.

Resolutionised

In 2007, may you find the courage
to love more people, to laugh and be laughed at once a while, to say sorry for the hurt you've given another person, to forgive when you know you are ready to do so, to stand up for what you believe in, to pursue what you've always wanted to do, and to exercise more than you did last year :)

So have you notice this little note that I have placed on your right? It was put up in the midst of a bustling resolution making season of the year. +(See original post last December here)+

Now that the curtains are drawing for 2007, did you do what you set out to do last year? I'll start by reflecting on my journey for the past one year (almost)...

1) to love more people,
In some ways, yes, I think I have learn to love more folks. There are so many opportunities to love people, and those moments come in the least expected. The ups and downs in 2007 did, however, caused me to forget to show love sometimes.

2) to laugh and be laughed at once a while,
I enjoyed a lot of laughter this year, mainly because of the new spiritual home that I've settled in. I've laughed more because I wasn't bogged down by ugly church stuffs. In general, my laughter scale has been bumped up by, I'd say, 60-70% compared to the previous year.

3) to say sorry for the hurt you've given another person,
I have not much problem mouthing "Sorry", however, sometimes, I was just so caught up with my act and the other party's response, that I forgot to say sorry, even if I meant to say it. I regret those moments of awkwardness when I could only stare at the aftermath of the damage done.

4) to forgive when you know you are ready to do so,
I STILL chose to forget than to forgive. Detaching myself from any emotional connections to things that have hurt me and affected my life seemed to be THE better option to move on with life. It is hard for me to pardon impressions of the unconcerned "friends" when they remain faithful to their cause.

5) to stand up for what you believe in,
I am proud to say I did this resolution in more than one setting this year. I spoke in protection of my faith, cleared misunderstandings about spiritual "rituals", and make requests for better remuneration for my work (though it didn't turn out entirely the way I want it to be).

6) to pursue what you've always wanted to do,
Taking flight (and risk) from a passive office to pursue a bigger dream, moving a step up from my previous horizontal career path were some of the little projects that I have done this year. I was also a little involved in ministry with residents of a halfway house.
God has also granted my heart's desire by prompting the pastor of our Chinese congregation to request that our cell group join them next year for worship. This is not officially a "pursue", but it was a cleared path provided by the Almighty, so that I may pursue it. Nobody can affirm my secret desire to worship in the Chinese congregation other than Him. It will be a continuous pursuit.

7) and to exercise more than you did last year :)
Well, sadly, this is the underperformer on the list. I missed the most number of classes for step aerobics this year, and the class was suspended during the year-end as there were not enough participants :(
Good news is, I maintained my weight, even lost some at the last quarter because of my rationale of "just sit down and watch tv, so no need to eat too much for dinner".
But I do hope I could go back to my aerobics class. I need my cardio!

As I type out this list, there is a mixture of happiness and pensiveness. A part of me still question of some of the things mention... Were they substantial, or are they just claims? It's really a feeling of, have I really done those things?

Just a mish-mash of thoughts. I am feeling tired, so I will end here.