The Answer To All This Depression
I walked into the worship hall asking God to show me something about my hopelessness. I am expecting Him to grant me some kind of understanding to what I have been experiencing lately. In fact, I am very desperate, I talked to Him about it before I go to bed last night. Which really goes to show how desperate I am because I haven't been praying regularly recently.
In fact, up to last night, I couldn't decide which church to go to today. Not until friend messaged me to confirm whether or not I am meeting her tomorrow. And I gave a yes to her. So thereafter, I decided to put aside my confused and depressive mind and allow God to talk to me in a different environment.
The worship was good. However, my mind was still churning question marks after question marks of why I have gotten myself into this super depressive mood. Of why things just go southwards.
Then I had a constant impression. Of Jesus as the sacrifice, so that sinners of the world are saved. My departure from QBC is going to benefit others in the church of similiar situation as me. I am the sacrifice, for the betterment of the others. So that they will not need to go through what I need to go through. I am the contrast.
Suddenly, history came back to me. I remembered there was one time I had realised that I am chosen to be the sacrificial lamb for the other singles in church. I have to be the big bang that shouts out the needs of the other singles. My disappearance will cause ripples, so that people will sit up and notice the situation. This is the purpose of why I am "forced" to take action on the current singles state in church.
Yes, this is definitely an affirmation. I believe, from God. I was so excited I wanted to email this revelation to people who knows my intention of leaving, but I haven't make it official yet. But I think I should give sometime for at least one more confirmation befor I make it official.
I just hope that the singles issue will not be just an unimportant one that can be swept under the carpet, taking a lowest priority as one of the real needs of church members. I hope they don't delay this need until their own children start to worry about their singlehood then they take action. That will be a horrendous wait.
After the service, I know I am better. At least, I've got the answer to what I've asked God for. I will review this again in the next week. With prayer and reading the Bible. I believe God will affirm it again. So that I can make it official.
In fact, up to last night, I couldn't decide which church to go to today. Not until friend messaged me to confirm whether or not I am meeting her tomorrow. And I gave a yes to her. So thereafter, I decided to put aside my confused and depressive mind and allow God to talk to me in a different environment.
The worship was good. However, my mind was still churning question marks after question marks of why I have gotten myself into this super depressive mood. Of why things just go southwards.
Then I had a constant impression. Of Jesus as the sacrifice, so that sinners of the world are saved. My departure from QBC is going to benefit others in the church of similiar situation as me. I am the sacrifice, for the betterment of the others. So that they will not need to go through what I need to go through. I am the contrast.
Suddenly, history came back to me. I remembered there was one time I had realised that I am chosen to be the sacrificial lamb for the other singles in church. I have to be the big bang that shouts out the needs of the other singles. My disappearance will cause ripples, so that people will sit up and notice the situation. This is the purpose of why I am "forced" to take action on the current singles state in church.
Yes, this is definitely an affirmation. I believe, from God. I was so excited I wanted to email this revelation to people who knows my intention of leaving, but I haven't make it official yet. But I think I should give sometime for at least one more confirmation befor I make it official.
I just hope that the singles issue will not be just an unimportant one that can be swept under the carpet, taking a lowest priority as one of the real needs of church members. I hope they don't delay this need until their own children start to worry about their singlehood then they take action. That will be a horrendous wait.
After the service, I know I am better. At least, I've got the answer to what I've asked God for. I will review this again in the next week. With prayer and reading the Bible. I believe God will affirm it again. So that I can make it official.
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