Tonight I Thought About Connections
I met a churchmate from PC at the supermarket today. She is a Scottish lady, who met her Singaporean Chinese husband in Glasgow and followed him to this part of the world after their wedding. They were with their mother and their helper. Now that I recall the scene again, I thought it was quite a cute sight. Her mother-in-law is a Mainland Chinese who came to Singapore when she was young, who speaks no Chinese, only Hockchew (I tell you, it's such a complicated Chinese dialect! I wonder how did she manage! :) My friend converse with her MIL in Mandarin, I saw it with my own eyes). Her husband is a born and bred Singaporean Chinese, she is Scottish Caucasian, and their helper is an Indonesian.
Now how's that combination for a Uniquely Singapore family unit! ;)
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It reminded me of another friend of mine. I got to know her from our previous office location. She is a Mainland Chinese too (I can't remember which part, gosh!). We met for lunch yesterday, and she was telling me about how she is cautious of introducing her boyfriend to her parents, and that her aunty who lives here have been asking her mother why hasn't she got a boyfriend yet.
Now, all this time, I had thought that her boyfriend is a local Chinese, for she has told me previously that they met while she was studying in one of the local polytechnics here. So I was pretty baffled why is she fearful of introducing the boyfriend to her parents. Upon (genuine) enquiry, she told me that her boyfriend is in fact, from Sri Lanka!
She is fearful that her parents, being Chinese, would mind his skin colour and the different cultural background that he came from. I think it's a constant worry on her mind, because whenever we meet for lunch, she would talk a little about it, and share with me her thoughts.
She asked me whether my mother would mind someone from a different nationality (before I knew about her Sri Lankan boyfriend), and I said, I wouldn't mind, and (hope) my mom wouldn't too. Then I went on to say that it is probably because Singapore is pretty multicultural, we are quite open to inter-racial marriages, and I saw her nod her head. She wish her parents and aunty would have the same mentality as Singaporeans. She then shared with me about how caring the boyfriend is, and we do agree that there is nothing wrong with him, 'cept the fact that his skin colour is very different from a Chinese's.
We also agree that it is probably a very Chinese/Asian thing that we should marry people of our own kind. And then I recalled my previous post about the eating with Chinese or Hongkonger. I do agree that sometimes, it's difficult to change our mindset because of our Asian backgrounds. But being Singaporean, I guess this issue has lesser impact on us.
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My point was proven when I sat down to watch a talkshow about Men marrying the higher-educated women, and women marrying lower-educated men. One of the guests was a Chinese man who was unsuccessful in meeting local women, and after seeing so many happy marriages of his friends, decided to marry a Vietnamese bride through a matchmaking agency. The couple seemed very happy on the show. The man gets to shower his Vietnamese wife with love and concern he may never be able to do if he keep looking for local girls, and the Vietnamese wife gets a man who lives in a better country (compared to Vietnam) and is happy that she is able to meet up with her sisters, who also married Singaporean husbands.
Given our similar culture, I guess it is indeed easier for brides from other Asian countries to be assimilated into our country. Why, this island is getting migrants from more countries than when Raffles discovered the island. We see, hear and work with Chinese, Hongkongers, Thais, Philippinos, Indonesians, Malaysians, Indians, Japanese, Koreans, Australians, Americans, British, etc etc... And I think everyone can assimilate well into the environment here. You can speak any language and still be understood (at least the common ones like English, Chinese, and other Asian languages.
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So that's all of my thoughts about connections.
I've also watched a National Geographic programme "Inside 911" and got emotional. Granted, I am not American, I am not a loud anti-terror activist, and it's been 5 years already... It still tugs my heartstrings to see the towers crumbled to the ground, one by one. Bringing with them innocent lives who went to work on that fateful day, who look forward to see their loved ones at the end of the day.
It's very normal of me to imagine myself in that kind of situation and ponder about what the people at the scene had felt during the entire ordeal when I watch programmes like that. The shock, anguish, pain, helplessness and confusion they must have felt! For those who were at their last moments, what went through their head? For those who escaped the disaster fortunately, how do they feel in those moments when they are in it all?
It was a heartwrenching day for the Americans, and to the rest of the world, shock and confusion. It actually happened in New York, in the United States of America, the supposed super-power country of the world.
Nothing, and nobody is invicincible. The price to learn this lesson is regretfully, and unfortunately, a costly one paid by the United States.
My prayers for those who are lost or traumatised by 911.
Now how's that combination for a Uniquely Singapore family unit! ;)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It reminded me of another friend of mine. I got to know her from our previous office location. She is a Mainland Chinese too (I can't remember which part, gosh!). We met for lunch yesterday, and she was telling me about how she is cautious of introducing her boyfriend to her parents, and that her aunty who lives here have been asking her mother why hasn't she got a boyfriend yet.
Now, all this time, I had thought that her boyfriend is a local Chinese, for she has told me previously that they met while she was studying in one of the local polytechnics here. So I was pretty baffled why is she fearful of introducing the boyfriend to her parents. Upon (genuine) enquiry, she told me that her boyfriend is in fact, from Sri Lanka!
She is fearful that her parents, being Chinese, would mind his skin colour and the different cultural background that he came from. I think it's a constant worry on her mind, because whenever we meet for lunch, she would talk a little about it, and share with me her thoughts.
She asked me whether my mother would mind someone from a different nationality (before I knew about her Sri Lankan boyfriend), and I said, I wouldn't mind, and (hope) my mom wouldn't too. Then I went on to say that it is probably because Singapore is pretty multicultural, we are quite open to inter-racial marriages, and I saw her nod her head. She wish her parents and aunty would have the same mentality as Singaporeans. She then shared with me about how caring the boyfriend is, and we do agree that there is nothing wrong with him, 'cept the fact that his skin colour is very different from a Chinese's.
We also agree that it is probably a very Chinese/Asian thing that we should marry people of our own kind. And then I recalled my previous post about the eating with Chinese or Hongkonger. I do agree that sometimes, it's difficult to change our mindset because of our Asian backgrounds. But being Singaporean, I guess this issue has lesser impact on us.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
My point was proven when I sat down to watch a talkshow about Men marrying the higher-educated women, and women marrying lower-educated men. One of the guests was a Chinese man who was unsuccessful in meeting local women, and after seeing so many happy marriages of his friends, decided to marry a Vietnamese bride through a matchmaking agency. The couple seemed very happy on the show. The man gets to shower his Vietnamese wife with love and concern he may never be able to do if he keep looking for local girls, and the Vietnamese wife gets a man who lives in a better country (compared to Vietnam) and is happy that she is able to meet up with her sisters, who also married Singaporean husbands.
Given our similar culture, I guess it is indeed easier for brides from other Asian countries to be assimilated into our country. Why, this island is getting migrants from more countries than when Raffles discovered the island. We see, hear and work with Chinese, Hongkongers, Thais, Philippinos, Indonesians, Malaysians, Indians, Japanese, Koreans, Australians, Americans, British, etc etc... And I think everyone can assimilate well into the environment here. You can speak any language and still be understood (at least the common ones like English, Chinese, and other Asian languages.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
So that's all of my thoughts about connections.
I've also watched a National Geographic programme "Inside 911" and got emotional. Granted, I am not American, I am not a loud anti-terror activist, and it's been 5 years already... It still tugs my heartstrings to see the towers crumbled to the ground, one by one. Bringing with them innocent lives who went to work on that fateful day, who look forward to see their loved ones at the end of the day.
It's very normal of me to imagine myself in that kind of situation and ponder about what the people at the scene had felt during the entire ordeal when I watch programmes like that. The shock, anguish, pain, helplessness and confusion they must have felt! For those who were at their last moments, what went through their head? For those who escaped the disaster fortunately, how do they feel in those moments when they are in it all?
It was a heartwrenching day for the Americans, and to the rest of the world, shock and confusion. It actually happened in New York, in the United States of America, the supposed super-power country of the world.
Nothing, and nobody is invicincible. The price to learn this lesson is regretfully, and unfortunately, a costly one paid by the United States.
My prayers for those who are lost or traumatised by 911.
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