I Am Confused
Handphone alarm woke me to watch Argentina against Mexico. The tiredness overcomed the desire to watch the new Argentina team play. Plonked back to sleep.
Woke up at about 9.30am. The decision that I always avoid making every Sunday comes up again. Should I go attend service? My mind and heart and physical body protest.
So I watched tv from morning till about 12 plus. TV did a highlight of last night's matches. The Argentina goal at extra time was stunning! The commentator said "My word!". My word too! :)
Then my mind started to feel really lethargic. So I went to take a shower to clear the mind. I had wanted to get out of the house to get some fresh air. But the weather is so gloomy, I think I will become worst if I go out.
When mom came back, observing that I am still in the house in a churchly hour. I mumbled that I have a headache. And she start her "go back to PC" talk again. Saying that I should go back, because now that I don't go, my brother also don't like to go.
Immediately, my mind responded. "So now I am responsible for other people who are not going to church?! Who is going to be responsible for me not going to church?!"
And now, I am in this state of dunno-what.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I don't mean to bring down the image of Christians. But recently, I had been having a thought replaying itself in my head.
Take away the "Christianity" in these people, and you don't get anything close to humane. Meaning, sometimes these people could be alot worst than those who don't believe in anything.
Yes, the commonly practised doctrine is that because of Christ, we do certain certain things. And it is because of Him everything comes together. And apart from Him, we can do nothing.
But... Somehow from my observations or intepretations, Christians do things "in name" only. As in, "in the name of Christ" I love you, "in the name of God", I am going to help you, I am going to pray for you etc.
Take away the beatitutes, take away the fruit of the Spirit, take away things done and happen in the name of Christ, I find no basis for these people to love. As in, they do things for the sake of doing, "because it's the Christian way to do things".
Yes, Christians are the most scrutinized people among all the religions in Singapore. Yes I also believe that there is no perfect person. And who am I to judge?
It's just that since young, I have this very saintly, loving, caring image of Christians. Apparently they don't always behave that way, as I discovered later in life.
It goes back to managing my expectations (1, 2) of people.
I am confused.
Woke up at about 9.30am. The decision that I always avoid making every Sunday comes up again. Should I go attend service? My mind and heart and physical body protest.
So I watched tv from morning till about 12 plus. TV did a highlight of last night's matches. The Argentina goal at extra time was stunning! The commentator said "My word!". My word too! :)
Then my mind started to feel really lethargic. So I went to take a shower to clear the mind. I had wanted to get out of the house to get some fresh air. But the weather is so gloomy, I think I will become worst if I go out.
When mom came back, observing that I am still in the house in a churchly hour. I mumbled that I have a headache. And she start her "go back to PC" talk again. Saying that I should go back, because now that I don't go, my brother also don't like to go.
Immediately, my mind responded. "So now I am responsible for other people who are not going to church?! Who is going to be responsible for me not going to church?!"
And now, I am in this state of dunno-what.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I don't mean to bring down the image of Christians. But recently, I had been having a thought replaying itself in my head.
Take away the "Christianity" in these people, and you don't get anything close to humane. Meaning, sometimes these people could be alot worst than those who don't believe in anything.
Yes, the commonly practised doctrine is that because of Christ, we do certain certain things. And it is because of Him everything comes together. And apart from Him, we can do nothing.
But... Somehow from my observations or intepretations, Christians do things "in name" only. As in, "in the name of Christ" I love you, "in the name of God", I am going to help you, I am going to pray for you etc.
Take away the beatitutes, take away the fruit of the Spirit, take away things done and happen in the name of Christ, I find no basis for these people to love. As in, they do things for the sake of doing, "because it's the Christian way to do things".
Yes, Christians are the most scrutinized people among all the religions in Singapore. Yes I also believe that there is no perfect person. And who am I to judge?
It's just that since young, I have this very saintly, loving, caring image of Christians. Apparently they don't always behave that way, as I discovered later in life.
It goes back to managing my expectations (1, 2) of people.
I am confused.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home