Wedding-Me
I was almost done with my work on probably the 7th wedding invitation card design until a phrase came to my mind.
一生为别人做嫁衣
As I exit out of the application software, a flurry of images flushed into my mind as it repeats those words over and over again. Images of how I played the role of one of the sisters responsible for "guarding" the gate of the bride before the groom comes in, or a helper in church, or even my sister's wedding a couple of years ago. Designs for wedding couples invite card, church service programme sheet, even the master slide in the MS Powerpoint to display the worship or hymn lyrics.
一生为别人做嫁衣
The literal meaning of this line is "Making the bridal gown of others in one's entire life". It is really used to describe the role of a person or a organisation who has been helping others to achieve their goals, but in a low profile manner.
I have been thinking about the literal meaning, "I will be doing the bridal preparations of others instead of mine for the rest of my life."
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Don't worry, I am not sad. Just in this wistful mood. Okay.. in some form of pensive, which has a tinge of sadness... Just a reflection, lah...
I am not desperate to wear a wedding gown, if that is your concern. Have never been into that, I don't know why. When I hear comments like "Every girl wants to be dressed in a wedding gown someday!" I kinda :S Yes, I admire the designs on the display window of the bridal boutique, but I seldom imagine myself in "that wedded moment", you know what I mean? Sometimes I would think, hmm, what kind of design would I like? Puffy sleeve? Off-shoulder? Bare back? Short? Long Train? Nothing white? Avant garde? But those were more like what I think is a wedding gown for me, groom excluded :)
Anyway, tonight, I wandered to another side of what I am doing. Will I be designing wedding invites, programme sheets, powerpoint slides for the rest of my life? The last item would probably be outdated in 5 years time in wedding ceremonies (gosh, they get so high-tech nowadays, I find it hard to catch up! :D).
I think I would be the oldest single "sister" to ask the groom for ang pows at the bride's house in the future. I am already feeling like an oversize, overage "kid" receiving ang pows from relatives during Chinese New Year. All the rest of those kids are like... under 20?! Yeah, imagine the contrast and the embarassment (but I take the ang pows anyway... It's not nice to reject gifts, especially if they are from the elderly, isn't it? Hehe...)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And then last night, on channel 8, there was this feature of a single woman in her 50s living alone in her flat. She is mentally challenged, and her brother died in the same flat some years back. She wasn't aware of it, until his body decomposed and let out a foul smell that alerted the neighbours. She has no other immediate family members to take care of her, and receives occasional gifts of food and cleaning up of the flat by her nieces and family friends.
As I watch her, I thought about myself. What do I do if I have to live alone by myself till the day I die? Will I be able to handle that kind of lifestyle, even though right now, I am living quite alright with the single situation?
No idea. Take it as it comes. I mean, it's not that I didn't +try to do anything. It's just that nothing's happening. Strangely, but truely. There will always be mis-matched couples passing my way when I walk along the streets, seemingly telling me that even they can find each other, so what's the problem with me?
Heh. What's the problem with me? I have no answer for you.
Meantime, I will continue to design the wedding cards. At no charge.
一生为别人做嫁衣
As I exit out of the application software, a flurry of images flushed into my mind as it repeats those words over and over again. Images of how I played the role of one of the sisters responsible for "guarding" the gate of the bride before the groom comes in, or a helper in church, or even my sister's wedding a couple of years ago. Designs for wedding couples invite card, church service programme sheet, even the master slide in the MS Powerpoint to display the worship or hymn lyrics.
一生为别人做嫁衣
The literal meaning of this line is "Making the bridal gown of others in one's entire life". It is really used to describe the role of a person or a organisation who has been helping others to achieve their goals, but in a low profile manner.
I have been thinking about the literal meaning, "I will be doing the bridal preparations of others instead of mine for the rest of my life."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Don't worry, I am not sad. Just in this wistful mood. Okay.. in some form of pensive, which has a tinge of sadness... Just a reflection, lah...
I am not desperate to wear a wedding gown, if that is your concern. Have never been into that, I don't know why. When I hear comments like "Every girl wants to be dressed in a wedding gown someday!" I kinda :S Yes, I admire the designs on the display window of the bridal boutique, but I seldom imagine myself in "that wedded moment", you know what I mean? Sometimes I would think, hmm, what kind of design would I like? Puffy sleeve? Off-shoulder? Bare back? Short? Long Train? Nothing white? Avant garde? But those were more like what I think is a wedding gown for me, groom excluded :)
Anyway, tonight, I wandered to another side of what I am doing. Will I be designing wedding invites, programme sheets, powerpoint slides for the rest of my life? The last item would probably be outdated in 5 years time in wedding ceremonies (gosh, they get so high-tech nowadays, I find it hard to catch up! :D).
I think I would be the oldest single "sister" to ask the groom for ang pows at the bride's house in the future. I am already feeling like an oversize, overage "kid" receiving ang pows from relatives during Chinese New Year. All the rest of those kids are like... under 20?! Yeah, imagine the contrast and the embarassment (but I take the ang pows anyway... It's not nice to reject gifts, especially if they are from the elderly, isn't it? Hehe...)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
And then last night, on channel 8, there was this feature of a single woman in her 50s living alone in her flat. She is mentally challenged, and her brother died in the same flat some years back. She wasn't aware of it, until his body decomposed and let out a foul smell that alerted the neighbours. She has no other immediate family members to take care of her, and receives occasional gifts of food and cleaning up of the flat by her nieces and family friends.
As I watch her, I thought about myself. What do I do if I have to live alone by myself till the day I die? Will I be able to handle that kind of lifestyle, even though right now, I am living quite alright with the single situation?
No idea. Take it as it comes. I mean, it's not that I didn't +try to do anything. It's just that nothing's happening. Strangely, but truely. There will always be mis-matched couples passing my way when I walk along the streets, seemingly telling me that even they can find each other, so what's the problem with me?
Heh. What's the problem with me? I have no answer for you.
Meantime, I will continue to design the wedding cards. At no charge.
Labels: Being single, graphic design, weddings, what does the future holds
4 Comments:
There is no problem with you, Joyce.
God is simply asking you to wait - when He has your trust, I'm sure He will surprise you! :)
"Our ways are not His ways..." Isaiah 55:8
Thank you, Anon. I appreciate your comment.
No offence, but I have heard of such "God wants you to wait" comments too many times. See here for some mention. I find it patronising.
It's a mistake many people make when they ran out of things to tell us. As if they found out that we did not do enough waiting in their yearly check on our ONEderful PDAs.
It's not just a matter of waiting. We have been waiting, and God willing, will continue to wait. But the person did not appear.
I would love to have a man in my life. But if I am destined to stay this way for the rest of my life, so be it. I waited; He never show up.
Besides, if everybody is going to do the waiting, who is going to do the courting? :D
No offence taken, and no patronisation meant :)
Sometimes words are meant not as a last resort, but as an encouragement - a bit of commiseration even.
So, some of us continue to wait, and try to shrug off the feelings of inadequacy, because, after all, we are God's children, and He will take care of us. We simply don't see His plan yet, and must believe He is omnipotent.
Lastly, good point on the waiting vs. courting! It's a pity we aren't assigned those roles at birth... Maybe I should take a different approach :D
I think the sadest of all yet is that the singles always tell each other to wait! :S
Anyhow, God is sovereign. I simply feel we need not make the situation more miserable than it already is now. Just be with us now emotionally, and not attempt to paint a picture as you think it will be; because you are not able to predict it.
Thank you for your comments, nonetheless.
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