Just finished watching "Child of Our Time" on central.

I really love to watch this documentary. Maybe because I love kids. I am very concern of how they grow emotionally and mentally, subject by their parents, environemt and their own exploration of their lives and others. This documentary allows me to see how children of different backgrounds reacts to different situations, and learn.

I learn with them as well. Like the boy who notices the fire extinguisher, the train-shaped play area and the birds in the skies... He cannot interact with other children in school, because they are not in the same "frequency" as him. Or like the little girl who is too used to being with adults, who finds security in older children or teachers... Don't we feel this way in some way or another in our lives as well. I know I do. Well, we learn, as the kids do.

Anyway, this is not the main point of my blogging today.

Before I sat down to the computer, I recalled an encounter I had with a couple and their teenage daughter in their car after the Growing Kids God's Way graduation. I shared my excitment on this documentary and some conversation bits that I thought was funny.

Before that, the lady commented that I should take up the GKGW course since I am a Sunday School teacher. For a while I was stunned. I am like.. er... but I am not married. But then, to make none of us look bad (or in other words, to make her intentions sounds as if she missed out the MAIN objective of the course), I told her that the course is suppose to be done by 2 persons. The husband added that this course needs to be practice at home, and I added that we only have limited time with the children at church.

I don't know how many wives out there tend to embarass their husbands with things they do not know of, yet pretend to know alot about and yak away. I just find it funny. The husband was probably embarassed by how little the wife knew about the GKGW course, and the blatant mis-informed, and should I add, insensitive comment.

I mean, it's like.. HELLOoo... I am single. This course is not for me, geddit?

Then, I shared about the docuemtary. After hearing my sharing, the man commented that I will made a good mother.

Then I stopped.

How does one continue such a conversation when one knows that she is never going to be attached, or married or have kids, but dreams of one day she will? Yet, she is frequently bombarded by the insensitive "Someday lah!", "When is your turn?", "Patience...", "Don't give up yet!"

So darn easy for you to say. You have a husband/wife, a boyfriend/girlfriend, you have people around your age who are not all married, haven't reach that stage yet, or just plain got nothing to do and 拿我来消遣。

I've forgotten what happened thereafter, but I do remember at one point, I turn to continue sharing about the documentary to the daughter. At least this audience listens to me and genuinely hears my sharing.

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The people around me... they don't understand me. They don't know why I take pictures of fire extinguishers and the birds. They don't know why I prefer movies that have conversations that goes on like forever.

Is it cos I don't open up myself to others? Or is it because they are not giving me the listening ear or try to understand me? Given, I am the person who always seemed to have the capacity to give.

And give.
And give somemore.
And give

till I die....

That I have no needs. I am self-suffient. I can survive on my own. My smile meter is not 10, but it hovers around 8 or 9. So Joyce shouldn't have any problems with her life right?

Right?

*DING!* You are absolutely right!

Joyce has no problems, as you see it.