The Talk With The Niece
Today, I talked to little D. about her little lying habit. Started out walking with her around the mall, going into shops that sells things that she may like to buy. Each time we go into a shop, she will point to something and tell me she would like to buy that particular item. The intention was to observe her responses when she sees something that caught her fancy. I am surprised that on one occasion, she looked around the store and told me "I want to buy something...". She did not mention to me that she wants to buy anything from the store during our entire time in the shop. Gosh, it seems to me its a compulsive shopping disorder...
We went to BK to have some munchins' and I began to broach the subject. Found out that she knows if she lies, she will get a beating from the mother. (Later, her mother told me that she has stop doing that because she realised it will not work positively on her). But she also knows that if she lies, neither she nor the other party will feel good about it. So I reiteriate the importance of telling the truth.
Then we talked about using money to buy things. It seems to me that she has somehow picked it up from the mother that she "had to" buy something when she is at a store. I guess having the spending "power" with her pocket money also means that she does not need to get permission from her mother to buy the things she fancies. Hence, she dared to go further with her purchases.
For me, it's ok that she buys that pretty eraser, or a little notebook that thinner than a 10cent coin but very pretty, or a keychain. We all do that (esp. girls) during our growing up stage. But we do not have to go to the extreme of lying just to get what we want. It's difficult to teach a child this concept, but I do hope that she understands that its better to spend money with a clear conscience than to pile up lie after lie to get what she wants in her life.
We went home happy, after testing out our cost comparison-shopping. I hope she will not need to lie again to get what she wants.
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It has been quite sometime since I counsel kids after I left the PC. So even when I agree to talk to D. on this topic, I wasn't sure how to do it. But God is good. I managed to talk to her without resorting to tricking her into telling me the truth. Which I had hoped not to do.
Come to think of it, when it comes to the shopping aspect, I had probably set a bad example for her and her sister when we go to the mall to "walk-walk". I do admit, I buy as and when I feel like it.
Hmm... I probably should do a shopping list the next time I go out with her. Hopefully I will remember. And that it will help her to learn to spend her money wisely.
We went to BK to have some munchins' and I began to broach the subject. Found out that she knows if she lies, she will get a beating from the mother. (Later, her mother told me that she has stop doing that because she realised it will not work positively on her). But she also knows that if she lies, neither she nor the other party will feel good about it. So I reiteriate the importance of telling the truth.
Then we talked about using money to buy things. It seems to me that she has somehow picked it up from the mother that she "had to" buy something when she is at a store. I guess having the spending "power" with her pocket money also means that she does not need to get permission from her mother to buy the things she fancies. Hence, she dared to go further with her purchases.
For me, it's ok that she buys that pretty eraser, or a little notebook that thinner than a 10cent coin but very pretty, or a keychain. We all do that (esp. girls) during our growing up stage. But we do not have to go to the extreme of lying just to get what we want. It's difficult to teach a child this concept, but I do hope that she understands that its better to spend money with a clear conscience than to pile up lie after lie to get what she wants in her life.
We went home happy, after testing out our cost comparison-shopping. I hope she will not need to lie again to get what she wants.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It has been quite sometime since I counsel kids after I left the PC. So even when I agree to talk to D. on this topic, I wasn't sure how to do it. But God is good. I managed to talk to her without resorting to tricking her into telling me the truth. Which I had hoped not to do.
Come to think of it, when it comes to the shopping aspect, I had probably set a bad example for her and her sister when we go to the mall to "walk-walk". I do admit, I buy as and when I feel like it.
Hmm... I probably should do a shopping list the next time I go out with her. Hopefully I will remember. And that it will help her to learn to spend her money wisely.
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