Couldn't Be Bothered...

Today, I couldn't be bothered to forward a "Best Sisters" sms from a good friend. Well, technically speaking, I was busy at that moment and can't forward it or reply to her to 'verify' that she is loved and I am loved and what-nots, and thought I could do that later. But now it's the end of a working day, I didn't do anything. Simply because I think it's silly. I don't need to prove to you that I love you. And I am not in the mood to do it for the fun of it.

Then, someone from church messaged me and ask me how am I, haven't seen me around and would love to catch up when I am free, and to let her know. I looked at the message and didn't reply.

I couldn't be bothered.

Then I think she called my mobile when I was on the other line, and I saw a missed call from her. I don't feel like calling back.

Maybe all these time of absence from them have rendered me enough reason to say that they do not care and I do not have to care back either. I just don't want to put up all pretense and entertain people who wants to know how am I doing. Yes, to me, it's entertaining. Because I don't want to put myself in tight shoes where people are genuinely concerned, but I genuinely do not want to tell them how I am doing.

I don't know if you get my drift. I just don't want to pretend. I don't feel good pretending in front of others. I don't want to show them my real feelings either. I just don't like to be in the presence of people whom I cannot relate to and try to bare my soul for them. I can't and I don't want to.

Time to go home.