Why are Singaporeans so difficult to arrange for a meet up? Are we all really that busy? I think we have all grown accustomed to our own personal space and don't really think about our friends. I have done that to others, and now I am on the receiving end.

Looking at my own PDA, it's practically blank. No appointments. No meet up for lunches, or dinners, no movie watching, no chill out for drinks (alcholic or non-alcholic) no dancing, no karaoke.

BLANK.

All I have are EC meeting, Shepherd's Meeting, preparation for Sunday teaching, prayer meeting (heck I even purposely skipped it tonight), cell group meeting, do this for this person, do that for this group of people.

Are the christian "friends" I know also very busy? I never get invites from christians for a casual dinner, or movie, or karaoke, or outing. Oh, yes, F. did asked me to go for movie on National Day. It didn't happen cos I don't want to spend money watching Chinese movie, and she last minute got something to do.

I am fortunate to be able to meet up with old secondary school friends for a rare dinner.

Am I being difficult, or am I right to say that what the single columnists says is true. As the years gone by, if we miss the train and others caught it, we do not just miss the train.

We lost "friendships" as well.

I mean, it's not that I never kena before. It's also the reason why I never believe in "Forever Friends", the sight of those bears really irks me. Or maybe I have too high expectations on friends. I expect people to keep in contact with me, when I myself don't do a thing. Very ironic. Very contradicting person I am.

But then again, in Singaporeans, "friendships" are very superficial. When there is a need for you, I am your friend. When that need has been replaced by another object or person of desire, there is no longer a need. And what more to see this so evident in Christians. It's so funny. All things things that a Christian is suppose to be, I don't find them in my "christian friends". Oh to be fair, "christian peers".

Oh no, please don't come and ask me "Why?" when you hear that I am leaving the church. All along I was there, I was non-existent. (That reminds me: If you do not plan to know geuninely how have I been for the last week, please don't ask me and have me reply you, or you reply for me "BUSY". That is an insult to you.)

And when my leaving disrupts church attendance head count and when there is no longer somebody you could throw your urgent design need at, you come and ask me why? I will surely smile and say, "personal reasons" or something like that. You can't expect me to tell you how I ended up making that decision standing there, right? Plenty of chance, never ask. When it hurts you, then you ask. I'll let you guys figure out. It'd be a slap on your own face.

I am so ready for my departure. I can't wait for the year to end and I'd be released. Whoopeeee!!! :) :) :)