It Was Just Too Perfect
I have been quite worried about how perfect things are turning out to be. So perfect it's scary. Deep down, I begin to fear the day when something ugly and nasty will slash through the perfection. I have been having a bad feeling that amid the perfection, something awfully ugly find it's way into this perfection.
And the nasty news came tonight. I was at lost of words when they were spoken. Suddenly, all the beautiful moments and happy times all came tumbling down. I have never expected it to come so quickly, taking over the fever that I am experiencing currently.
I now regret that I have written (in another blog) that I will remember that beautiful moment, even if it does not last. Was that a curse I pronounced over myself?
All my hopes came to a screeching halt. I felt as if I was being hammered on the head by harsh reality.
I've finally found what I have been looking for, and was holding and cherishing it with great care for the past 3 weeks. I've been keeping it under wraps carefully, waiting for the right time to reveal it. But looks like it will slip away from my hands very soon, before I even have a chance to declare it.
God, I do not know why you have made this happened. I do believe there is a reason for this, but right now, it's hard not to expect an answer from you. It's like I have been raised to the pinnacle... an all-time high, and then the pinnacle disappear, and I fall into the deepest valley of emptiness.
Do you really want to put me through the trials of Job? Have I had not enough sufferings for the past 31 years to render a change of a better destiny? Why must I go through one trial after another?
... it's a hard life being a Christian.
I don't know what else to say anymore.
And the nasty news came tonight. I was at lost of words when they were spoken. Suddenly, all the beautiful moments and happy times all came tumbling down. I have never expected it to come so quickly, taking over the fever that I am experiencing currently.
I now regret that I have written (in another blog) that I will remember that beautiful moment, even if it does not last. Was that a curse I pronounced over myself?
All my hopes came to a screeching halt. I felt as if I was being hammered on the head by harsh reality.
I've finally found what I have been looking for, and was holding and cherishing it with great care for the past 3 weeks. I've been keeping it under wraps carefully, waiting for the right time to reveal it. But looks like it will slip away from my hands very soon, before I even have a chance to declare it.
God, I do not know why you have made this happened. I do believe there is a reason for this, but right now, it's hard not to expect an answer from you. It's like I have been raised to the pinnacle... an all-time high, and then the pinnacle disappear, and I fall into the deepest valley of emptiness.
Do you really want to put me through the trials of Job? Have I had not enough sufferings for the past 31 years to render a change of a better destiny? Why must I go through one trial after another?
... it's a hard life being a Christian.
I don't know what else to say anymore.
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