[ People. Contact. Attention. No Judgement.]
Met up with friend who is going to be a mother soon in September for fish soup at Plaza Singapura food court on Wednesday.
It was not a a planned conception, and she did share that she actually had so many plans laid up for this year. She admits that she is constantly wrestling with God on the things of her life, this being one of them. I can tell that she is still a lil unsure of her role, and more unwilling to be a mother at this point in time.
We shared about our career moves, her husband, church and stuffs. It was a short 3 hour meet up. But I am just so glad that things are still the same between the both of us, that we can still share our heart out, even though we have not touch base for a long time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
With her, I can share about anything without inhibitions. With her background (Malaysian who migrated to Canada, came to Singapore to work, married in Malaysia, came back here to live with her husband), I felt comfortable sharing with her my fears, my grouses, my hopes and my faith. Being a non-Singaporean, she listens without judging my words, and shares in my disappointments. She remembers the issue I had with my previous company years before and asked if it has been settled. She shares every bit of her life with me, without inhibitions.
I am seldom able to do this with a Singaporean. Somehow, Singaporean women would go in two directions. They will either brush aside my sharing and tell me that things will work out themselves (or God will make things happen), or zoom in on me and treat me as a serious case.
I don't understand why can't they see my sharing as a part of me as a person, as a normal human being who has emotions and flesh and blood. When I share, I want your attention, not to see me as your "patient" who requires only your lip service telling me everything is going to be alright. I want your empathy, your ears and your heart.
(At this point, I must confess I may have committed these faults before, so technically, this post is about me too.)
Last time, I gave my attention, empathy, ears and heart to others, and receive nothing in return for a long time. I continued to give, because I was a generous giver then. I saw that nobody was there, and I stepped in to try to mend things.
I can't do that anymore. I gave too much, and drained. I retreated too, because I am weary.
However, the giver in me is still there. It will make a comeback, in due time. In fact, soon, I believe.
Met up with friend who is going to be a mother soon in September for fish soup at Plaza Singapura food court on Wednesday.
It was not a a planned conception, and she did share that she actually had so many plans laid up for this year. She admits that she is constantly wrestling with God on the things of her life, this being one of them. I can tell that she is still a lil unsure of her role, and more unwilling to be a mother at this point in time.
We shared about our career moves, her husband, church and stuffs. It was a short 3 hour meet up. But I am just so glad that things are still the same between the both of us, that we can still share our heart out, even though we have not touch base for a long time.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
With her, I can share about anything without inhibitions. With her background (Malaysian who migrated to Canada, came to Singapore to work, married in Malaysia, came back here to live with her husband), I felt comfortable sharing with her my fears, my grouses, my hopes and my faith. Being a non-Singaporean, she listens without judging my words, and shares in my disappointments. She remembers the issue I had with my previous company years before and asked if it has been settled. She shares every bit of her life with me, without inhibitions.
I am seldom able to do this with a Singaporean. Somehow, Singaporean women would go in two directions. They will either brush aside my sharing and tell me that things will work out themselves (or God will make things happen), or zoom in on me and treat me as a serious case.
I don't understand why can't they see my sharing as a part of me as a person, as a normal human being who has emotions and flesh and blood. When I share, I want your attention, not to see me as your "patient" who requires only your lip service telling me everything is going to be alright. I want your empathy, your ears and your heart.
(At this point, I must confess I may have committed these faults before, so technically, this post is about me too.)
Last time, I gave my attention, empathy, ears and heart to others, and receive nothing in return for a long time. I continued to give, because I was a generous giver then. I saw that nobody was there, and I stepped in to try to mend things.
I can't do that anymore. I gave too much, and drained. I retreated too, because I am weary.
However, the giver in me is still there. It will make a comeback, in due time. In fact, soon, I believe.
Labels: fried fish soup, friends, Friendship, heart to heart
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