It's All Good

Well, I cried and cried after my previous post that day. Many, many, many questions ran through my head, and nearing the end, I asked God, "Why me, God? Why? Didn't you put me through enough difficult situations for the entire year already, and now this? You think I do not have enough? I am beginning to get closer to you, enjoying your presence, enjoying church, getting back to prayers, joyfully tithing... And now this? Didn't I have enough?"

The night didn't ended with an answer. I remember I went to sleepy mumbling "It would take God's miracle to work something out for me." I woke up the next day, eyes puffed from a night of crying. Fortunately, I can still conceal them with my fringes and black-rimmed glasses. True enough, I didn't have anything to cry for the next day. I started the day being kinda quiet, but soon I went back to being my normal self.

You see, these kinda things don't hold me down for long.

For one, I do not think that I should make the people around me liable for me my sorrows, and give them a black face at work or at home. For another, I recognised that I am damn suay (unlucky) to have this kinda of things happen to me more than once in my life, and I resigned to the fact that nothing is going to happen to turn things around. Both these reasons were reason enough for me to stop my self-pity and move on with life.

By Friday, I was more than better. The coordinator from school advised me to contact the foundation for financial assistance appeal, with details of my course. I got the help of my boss to help write the appeal letter and faxed the details to them. Now it's time to wait.

I am no longer resigned to my fate. For the past few days, I have learnt that whatever happens, whether I get the grant or not, God is in both situations. If I do get it, praise Him. He works miracles for all those who love him. And I know He loves me dearly. It will be a testimonail to those who know about the situation, but yet to know of this God who loves.

If I do not get the grant, it could well be an additional push for me to go out to source for freelance translation jobs. God knows very well that if I get too comfortable, in the event that the grant is through, I could slack in my ambition to polish my skills in 2007. Which basically is equivalent to me throwing my skill that is worth $5000 away.

Anyways, I was not completely over the stress the fees gave me, so I got L to accompany me to Orchard Road for some hang out time. Man, was I happy that I did that. I bought two purses from the Muji store (at $46$26 and $36$23, they are a steal!) at Paragon, had a bowl of terrific fried fish soup with milk from the food court at Plaza Singapura, and later went to Daiso and bought nothing but 2 boxes of plasters.

It was good, all good. :D

(Something's wrong with Blogger entry page tonight, shall updated with pix later!)