I Did Not Mention
That in addition to the blast-worthy day I had last Sunday, the day ended with us hanging out at a bar/cafe/restaurant at Changi. I think it's called "Barks" or something, just next to the old Changi prison/chapel.
It was a winding down moment for all of us, after that sumptuous crab dinner. Among the company were JU and PA, the couple who are about to be wedded, RC - PA's secondary school friend, JN - a friend we've known during our IRC days and myself.
The chill-out time turned out to be a night where everyone chip in to help resolve some of RC's brushes with relationships. She confessed that she "is very tired", and is looking for someone who has "a shoulder to lean on". She is one firm believer that the girl should never make the move. However, through the years, her withholding back costs her some unrequited love, and even affected friendships.
So the rest of us (I didn't really say much) were trying to help her analyse and diagnose the "what went wrong" as she shares her experiences. It was a fruitful night because everyone had a chance to express their thoughts about relationships, or talk about their own. It was a comfortable group, and there were openess in the sharing.
At one moment, there was a pause, and JN turned to look at me and said, "So let's talk about you. You've been pretty quiet. How about you? Have you got any stories to share?" And rolled his eyes.
I rolled mine. "No, no, there's nothing happening to me."
"Not even at the bus stops, trains, office, hawker centres?"
"Nolah. It takes only 2 train stops from my home to office, how can anything happen?!"
He didn't probe further, and the topic went back to RC and helping her see things she never knew was happening in her friendships with the "potentials".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I wasn't about to share with them that I have given up hope in the relationship aspect. I have become cynical and really, don't care two hoots about finding any kind of love. There was once when I shared this mindset to a group of ladies from PC, only to have those who are married telling me that I am too "pessimistic". Hence, I don't tell people my real feelings anymore.
I believe it has done wonders to me. I am liberated from the cares of "When will I ever be in a relationships". My thoughts are not on getting that guy/men's attention, but really, just to be myself, and enjoy my privilege as a single 30-something. No one to be accountable too, buying shoes I like ("Tall-enough-still-buy-heels" comments do not matter to me anymore), do shopping as I like, get things for people I like, doing favours for others as I like (then complain to myself about being too helpful)...
True, there were times I wonder why a "multi-talented" woman who is suitably normal like me doesn't get any dates... I design, I do web, I can converse in Mandarin and English, I am learning to do translation, I sing pretty well, I am very-very kind, very-very helpful, I am not naggy, I don't look my age (READ: younger), I am tall, I am of average weight, I watch soccer, I like the beach, I like all genres of music...
Man, I have no idea what happened.
It is what it is now, so let's leave it as it is.
I Give Up.
It was a winding down moment for all of us, after that sumptuous crab dinner. Among the company were JU and PA, the couple who are about to be wedded, RC - PA's secondary school friend, JN - a friend we've known during our IRC days and myself.
The chill-out time turned out to be a night where everyone chip in to help resolve some of RC's brushes with relationships. She confessed that she "is very tired", and is looking for someone who has "a shoulder to lean on". She is one firm believer that the girl should never make the move. However, through the years, her withholding back costs her some unrequited love, and even affected friendships.
So the rest of us (I didn't really say much) were trying to help her analyse and diagnose the "what went wrong" as she shares her experiences. It was a fruitful night because everyone had a chance to express their thoughts about relationships, or talk about their own. It was a comfortable group, and there were openess in the sharing.
At one moment, there was a pause, and JN turned to look at me and said, "So let's talk about you. You've been pretty quiet. How about you? Have you got any stories to share?" And rolled his eyes.
I rolled mine. "No, no, there's nothing happening to me."
"Not even at the bus stops, trains, office, hawker centres?"
"Nolah. It takes only 2 train stops from my home to office, how can anything happen?!"
He didn't probe further, and the topic went back to RC and helping her see things she never knew was happening in her friendships with the "potentials".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I wasn't about to share with them that I have given up hope in the relationship aspect. I have become cynical and really, don't care two hoots about finding any kind of love. There was once when I shared this mindset to a group of ladies from PC, only to have those who are married telling me that I am too "pessimistic". Hence, I don't tell people my real feelings anymore.
I believe it has done wonders to me. I am liberated from the cares of "When will I ever be in a relationships". My thoughts are not on getting that guy/men's attention, but really, just to be myself, and enjoy my privilege as a single 30-something. No one to be accountable too, buying shoes I like ("Tall-enough-still-buy-heels" comments do not matter to me anymore), do shopping as I like, get things for people I like, doing favours for others as I like (then complain to myself about being too helpful)...
True, there were times I wonder why a "multi-talented" woman who is suitably normal like me doesn't get any dates... I design, I do web, I can converse in Mandarin and English, I am learning to do translation, I sing pretty well, I am very-very kind, very-very helpful, I am not naggy, I don't look my age (READ: younger), I am tall, I am of average weight, I watch soccer, I like the beach, I like all genres of music...
Man, I have no idea what happened.
It is what it is now, so let's leave it as it is.
I Give Up.
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